Creepy Merchandise: Wolf Wear

source: hot topic




I SOOOOOO need this.

Wolf ears? REALLY? *rolling my eyes* Why doesn't Hot Topic just sell a tee with tan abs painted on it and be done with it?

Does the vampire hoodie come with built in air conditioning?








I don't believe so. It's supposed to make you hot.








Or maybe Hot Topic should make an Emmett hoodie with grizzly bear ears and fur. And an Edward one with a mountain lion tail. I mean, if they're going to put wolf ears on a hoodie, why not keep on going with the ridiculous?





Should Jasper's come with a blood stain on it?








I always pictured Jasper as very neat eater. True southern gentleman and such.

Junior League: NewMoonward

Name: Bella Cullen
Superpower: the ability to self deprecate inordinately and not have Edward ask for a divorce

First of all, I want to thank you ladies for the opportunity to talk about something that has really been weighing on my mind. The League is part of my extended family, and I can't think of a better place to talk about this. I....went to see the new movie based on my relationship with Edward...or "saga," if you will. Morbid curiosity always gets the better of me...obviously. I was prepared to be absolutely devastated all over again, reliving the worst months of my life....October....November....December. What I wasn't prepared for...what nothing in all of my experience could possibly have prepared me for....is what they did to poor Edward's face in "New Moon."

Why, @HolyGod, WHY is he wearing crimson lipstick?? I thought it was bad in the first film, but it was like the makeup department went out of their way to make it look freshly applied in every scene. The more disturbing part? It seems to change with his mood. I like to think of him as "mood ring NewMoonward." In the beginning, the lipstick is nice and red because he's happy(?), and then turns into a more brooding crimson when he needs to leave...me. In a surprising turn, when Edward shows up under the clock tower in Volterra, the lipstick has been removed entirely and replaced with some sort of tan, ashy powder. Does depressed Edward lose all color in his lips? Is this the secret to reading Edward's mind, his feelings, because if so I could have used this tip like six years ago. Or is the makeup department trying to make me punch through the seat in front of me? Because I can actually do that. This was an extremely difficult period in my life, and then I have to sit and watch Edward depicted this way. Do they KNOW he's still around? He didn't die in Volterra. They could have visited us and maybe, I don't know, looked at him! Also, are they clear on the fact that he's a vampire? Truly? Because part of being a vampire is the fact that you NEVER CHANGE! Edward's hair never changes, his skin is always hard and cold, he always looks flawless, yet, somehow..someway..he's a disheveled hot mess with tan lips in Volterra? No amount of brooding can change his appearance--HE'S TRIED!! *shaking my head* Sorry, ladies, I got overemotional. I hope I could set the record straight a bit.

Your friend,
Bella Cullen




If Edward's lips change colors with his mood who wants to place a bet that Jasper is behind ever changing the crimson red lips...?







Think Alice makes Jasper change it so that his lips always match his outfit?







I thought it was because he hadn't eaten lately - like his lips were stained red normally because he drinks blood, and he hadn't eaten much due to his heartbreak. But, then his eyes would have been black... and they weren't. Yet another #fail for Suckmit!

And Bella, could you please tell us if the real Edward's chest is hairy? Or if his nipple is wonky? Because I put those things in the #fail category as well.




Oh yes, Rain! Edward's hairy chest is just one more reason why I'm Team Jacob.







Psst... Rain, quit trying to make sense of the poor makeup choices. These are the same people who approved the aforementioned wonky nipple.

IMAXimum Eye Candy

*reads article about Eclipse being shown on Imax theaters and takes a deep calming breaths so as to no faint* Let me get this straight... I am going to see Jasper Whitlock Hale fighting in the southern vampire wars alongside Maria on a monstrously sized screen with higher resolution than your standard movie theater? *runs to buy plastic sheeting to protect my theater seat* Okay, I think I'm ready.




Dammit! Why did they have to replace Victoria? Can you imagine the epicness of my girl-crush with her on IMAX? Any chance they'll play New Moon before it? *swoons*






I like how the article questions whether or not the fanbase will line up to see Eclipse on an IMAX screen. "Those giant screens are made for spectacle, rather than teenagers standing around looking pale." Clearly the writer of said article does not understand the power of pale and sparkly. Seeing Edward and Emmett standing around looking pale IS spectacle.




*cough* Jasper is spectacularly pale. *cough*








Wait! I just realized... The meadow... Edward begging Bella to sleep with him... GAH! Any chance they'll rewrite the script and she'll agree? Huh?






A 7 story Taycob shirtless???!!! *thud*

PDA, we mean PSA

Typically when I get on my soap box it is to demand that everyone follow Jasper Hale who has an online presence on Twitter. Speaking of which, did you follow him yet? No? I'll wait until you are done. Okay, you followed him? Good. Thanks. *smiles* Moving on...

Because today I want to get on my soapbox about something even more important than Jasper Hale reaching 1,000 followers by New Year's Day. Today I want to ask each of you to watch a short video about the ONE organization and all the good work they do to bring awareness to global poverty and injustice. And if you need a Twilight-related reason to watch, it features Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed and Ashley Greene. So watch and be moved to do something to help end global poverty. Global poverty effects us all.

Psst: ...and *cough* follow @CullzJazz on Twitter. kthxbai




Yes, this message is very important and a cause very near and dear to our hearts. Please overlook the fact that Ed *gag* Westwick is in this video.






You know, without the bad wig and that constant "I just ate a lemon" look on her face, Nikki Reed isn't bad looking.







I cant' tell you how much I love this - seeing members of the Twi-cast in a One Campaign video makes me proud to be a Twi-hard. It also makes me want to bang meet Kellan even more than before.






So what you're saying is you want to become "one" with Kellan.

Sultry Bloody Sunday: Vampire Madness

*shivers in a good way while my still beating heart pounds out of my chest* Is there anything sexier than a vampire? *shakes head no, grinning wickedly*






Depends on the vamps. I like certain non-venomous vamps that don't sparkle, but if we're in the Pacific Northwest, I'm the wolf girl.







*ignoring Ginger* Noooo Spank, there is nothing sexier than a vampire. They all seem to have the perfect blend of f*ckhawt and danger. Undead bad boys.






*nodding in awe of the f*ckhawtness* Be still my beating heart.

Storytime With Meadow: EARTHQUAKE!

Hey everyone! I don't know about you, but I enjoy a little bit of adventure with my romance. Indiana Jones, Romancing the Stone, Pitfall Harry... Okay, so maybe there was no romance in Pitfall Harry, but you get what I'm saying. Somehow a mysterious and dangerous setting makes the romance that much sweeter. So, for today's recommendation I give you "EARTHQUAKE!" by Thallium81.

The premise is that natives kidnapped our poor protagonist, and so a very well know doctor of archeology comes to the rescue. There are lots of chases and narrow escapes. This isn't some deep exploration of the human psyche or even a deep exploration of Bella and Edward. It's just plain FUN.

I mean, come on, wouldn't you want to be trapped on an island (Isle Esme, to be exact) with Edward? *raises eyebrow* Imagine it: you're being chased by natives, unsure if you'll survive. He might be the very last person you ever see. How will you spend your last hour? *smirks*

Yeah, that's what I thought. So go read! It's complete, not super long, and I promise it'll be a fun journey.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4901076/1/EARTHQUAKE

New Moon Fail

We've covered what we loved most and now it is time to dissect that which had major suckage. For me it wasn't so much a scene as it was the performance of Robert Pattinson *takes a deep breath preparing for the onslaught of hate mail*

First of all, why was Edward dressed like an old man? And where was the pea coat? @Little_Edward's pea coat does NOT come off! *takes a deep calming breath* And another thing: In the book Edward was actually a lighthearted (for him, anyway) prior to the birthday party! So explain to me why RPattz played Edward to look like he took a dump and forgot to wear his Depends undergarments to school? Y'all say Jasper looks constipated? Well I call that the look of intense pain and discomfort caused by having a near constant and burning desire to drain all of Forks High School. So, tell me, what's Edward's excuse for looking like he ate bad cheese?




Yes, can we talk about Edward's outfit for a minute? Grey pants and brown wing tips? I understand that he's 109 years old, but does he have to be dressed that way?

And, here is something that has bothered me each time I've seen the movie. What is up with the motorcycle dude? Are there really gangs of motorcycle dudes hanging out waiting for randoms to jump on the back of their bikes? When he says, "What's that sugar (or baby, or sweet-tits, or whatever he says)?" and then decides he doesn't care what she said, and drives off, I was so confused! Who does that?

And, finally, *laces up running shoes* I did not like Aro's maniacal laugh. *runs away, fast*




*sprints after Rain, laughing maniacally*









Things I didn't like:

Jacob with his shirt on.
Elasti-Sam cliff-diving.
Stupid shiny charcoal Volvo
Emo-pansy Edward
Edward's phone call that interrupts Jacob and Bella's kiss
Edward with his shirt off and freaky left nipple
Edward returns to Forks
Bella chooses Edward over Jacob




**ignoring Ginger** I agree I wasn't crazy about any of the parts you guys (except for Ginger) discussed. I mean, Edward's wardrobe was EPIC FAIL. We all know that.

What about Bella's forest breakdown? Where was the drama? Sure, stumbled around calling his name like Simba calling for Mufasa in The Lion King and yes that was sad. But where were the hysterics afterward? She really didn't look THAT different in her catatonic state than she did any other day.

What about the phone call from Rose to Edward? I realize it was an outtake but it was a damn good one.

Also, I hated how all of the Cullens seemed like an afterthought in this movie. Where was the discussion on the plane between Alice and Bella? In fact, where was ANY discussion on the plane? Was it too hard to pay for an interior plane shot so we could see Bella and Edward reconnecting? And really, VIRGIN Atlantic? *snicker*

New Moon: Scene It!

Okay, so you know how you have a favorite moment (or two) from Twilight? Yes, you do. Personally, I love the baseball scene and the cafeteria scene where we see Edward Cullen for the first time. *cue goofy school-girl grin*

So I was thinking about New Moon and I have to say that my first favorite scene is where Edward pulls into the parking lot and saunters over to Bella (again cue the goofy school-girl grin). Although why he has to park like an arse and take up two spots is beyond me. My second favorite scene is the Victoria chase scene. It is so visually dynamic and the music compliments it perfectly. And, Victoria? She is amazing. My #girlcrush was pretty much solidified during that scene.

So girls, what are your favorites?




it should surprise no one that one of my favorite scenes was when Jasper tried to attack Bella. I just love how it was all choreographed and how he fought his way through Emmett and Carlisle's hold, focused only on the scent of Bella's blood. The look in his eyes, the bloodthirst... *fans self, takes a deep breath and looks for a piece of paper to cut myself with*

The Volturi Court - Aro with that maniacal laugh and his soft yet cold voice and the fight between Edward and Felix that was so freaking epic. I was so transfixed by the entire scene, I actually found myself rooting for ... *looks around, sees the threatening eyes of our readers, gulps hard...* Ummm, yeah, moving on...

Finally it was a series of moments strung together that punched me in the gut: October, November, December: the face of the broken and lost ... Bella screaming mournfully in bed ... her night terrors as Charlie tried in vain to comfort her. Bella's insurmountable pain and suffering was so well portrayed, I was both compelled to watch even as I found it emotionally draining and overwhelming to do so.




My favorite parts:
Jacob shirtless
Jacob shirtless in the rain
Jacob moving in to kiss Bella twice
Any scene with Jacob in it after he loses the wig.
All of the wolves scenes, especially those with Jacowolf.
Edward leaving Bella
Jasper almost killing Bella
Face Punch movie (especially the Wilhelm Scream they threw in)
Jacob standing in the road, forcing Edward to stop the car.
Aro's maniacal laugh. I think I'll use it as a ringtone.






Rain, I have to agree with you that the Victoria chase scene was hard-freakin'-core. I loved it. I kinda want the Victoria stand-up now. Can you imagine coming out to your living room in the morning and seeing her crouched and ready to pounce on you? Mmm... #Ihaveagirlcrushtoo

And don't even get me started on Aro. I think he was amazing. I think I'm going to put the creepy Aro laugh as my "you've got mail" notification sound. He was EPIC!

But, seeing as how I'm totally Team Edward, my favorite scene is the post-party kiss. I loved how anguished he seemed. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Emoward. Especially if it ends with a hot grunt. Oh, that grunt... Okay, screw Aro's laugh, the grunt is going to be my "you've got mail" notification. And my "you're starting your computer" notification. And my "someone signed on to AIM" notification. And my... Well, you get the point.




I see many cold showers and unanswered messages in your future.








Uuuuuuuhhhh... Spank, would you mind emailing me about 10 more times? NOW? Kthxbai.