Pixie Hollow Edward

Much of the new Twilight merchandise was featured at Comic-Con this week, but what caught my eye was an Edward doll made by Tonner. I decided to do a bit more "research" on this doll to see if, unlike the original Pocket Edward, this Edward could shed his jacket... you know, in case he got hot. I found this and am pretty much speechless...

When I saw this "doll", I almost fell over. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? What friggin' clown gave the final approval of that stupid thing and put it into production? Let me guess... did C.Hardwicke go into a new business? And Rain, did you say it's retailing for $139??? They should put GPS systems inside these things because whoever actually buys one should be shot locked up.

I just want to know why his pants are pulled up so high? They look like Grandpa pants. And what's up with that hair?

Are you sure this isn't GI Joe's doll for their line of "don't ask, don't tell" action figures.

Are you sure this is supposed to be Edward? Cause it looks more like Eric to me.

PLEASE tell me you mean Eric Yorkie and not Eric Northman.

If it looked anything like Eric Northman, I would've taken it home and put him in my nightstand drawer. Oh yeah.

Action Figure Edward

We here at the League, just like every other Twilight/RP fan, own our very own Action Figure Edward. It's really wonderful to have Edward with you wherever you go, but we've noticed a teeny-tiny oversight on the part of the manufacturers, which was brought to our attention by a friend.

ANONYMOUS FRIEND: Can I ask a very important question? Why doesn't AFE's shirt come off? I mean, just in case he gets hot. Not because I want to look. Really.

I was wondering the same thing about his pants... you know, for summer and stuff.

Why doesn't he bend? I was trying to get him into a sitting position and his torso popped off of his legs. It was all very traumatic for me and the kids. Thankfully Mr. Ginger came to the rescue and reattached him. But he's forced to be in a standing position. Good thing he's a vampire and doesn't mind standing, because otherwise he'd get awfully tired, I think. At least he's got those cool "ming" reading skills.

The only problem I have with action figure Edward is that he's, well.... kinda boring. Not a whole lotta action coming from action figure Edward. And he just stares at my desk all day. And I'm not too crazy about the uneven butt seam in his pants, not too attractive.

Of course now that you said that Spider, I had to grab my Action Figure Edward and check the butt seam. You're totally right. What does that say about me that I never even noticed his butt? More importantly, what does that say about you?

Hmm... It makes you wonder how dedicated NECA is to their craft. Maybe Rob Pattinson has an uneven butt seam. Not in an imperfect kinda way, of course, but in a "this is part of what makes his bubble butt unique" kinda way. Which begs the question: Who got to inspect Rob Pattinson's ass and how do I get that job for all future merchandising updates?

***Action Figure Edward is also popularly and lovingly referred to as "Pocket Edward" thanks to Lauren from Lauren's Bite who came up with the term. She needs to trademark the name. Except then we'd owe her money every time we refer to him as "Pocket Edward". Never mind, that's a terrible idea.

If you wanna see cool stuff you can do with Pocket Edward, visit Lauren's Bite.