Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Kristen Stewart seems to be having a difficult time juggling her on-screen identities, as seen in this photo where she "slips" into her role as clumsy Bella Swan while playing the part of Joan Jett.

Looks like someone switched to Team Jacob. *wink*

She likes it ruff, ruff.

Perhaps she just found Jesus?

Or she could be praying toward Mecca.

Or lost her contact lens?

It is possible that she's just fallen in love.


Monday, June 29, 2009

C'mon Carlisle Light My Fire

Carlisle was one of my favorite characters in the Twilight series. I don't know where to begin with all the things I love about him, but there are a couple of scenes from the movie that I want to acknowledge. First of all, nobody can make an ER entrance like Dr. Cullen. Every time he pushes that door open I get excited!

But there is something that drives me NUTS! In the film, in the ballet studio when Edward and James are going at it, Carlisle comes in and puts his hand on Edwards shoulder saying, "Son, enough, remember who you are, Bella needs you."

That's so gay because then he has his other children go and rip the guys head of (literally). His daughter no less! I understand that it has nothing to do with Peter Facinelli/Carlisle Cullen. But who the hell made that stupid cal? Was it an editing goof ? Was it Melissa Rosenberg that drank too much vino when she wrote that line? WTF?

Yeah, I didn't get that either. Maybe we should ask him why he said that.

While I may not agree with everything (cough, Carlisle's make-up) I do think he was perfectly cast.

Yeah, hmm.. Dr. Cullen perplexes me. I like him fine and good. He's an honorable man and a compassionate doctor but he's quite *what's the word* sterile. Always in his lab coat or sweater vest. I mean... would it kill him to just loosen up a little? Maybe dress like this on a his off days?

If he dressed like that, I'd definitely switch to Team Carlisle... and admire him in a completely respectful, non-objectifying way.

Ah hale... who am I trying to kid? ANIMAL ATTACK!

Hmmm, he may be sterile, but he created one of the most delicous vampire family covens known to the undead world. That is certainly worth recognition. To you Dr. Carlisle Cullen, I offer Father of the Century Award. What remarkable decisions you've made, tough ones, but perfect in every way. Well.... Rosalie could have been a mistake, but we all make them, even you!

I absolutely love Dr. Cullen's entrance into the ER. You know that goofy, school-girl grin that we all get when Edward enters the cafeteria? (Don't try to deny it - I know you all do.) I get that same goofy grin when the good doctor walks through those doors. He does it with such authority and confidence - it's so sexy!

How about when Jasper looks up at Bella from his seat on the couch in the hotel room? Those eyes! Those lips! That voice!! How is it that someone with such amazing calming powers manages to send me into an absolute frenzy?

Earth to Spank, earth to Spank... this IS a post about Dr. Carlisle Cullen, not Jasper the freak!

Sounds like SOMEONE needs a little Jasprin.

Or how about when Snape slams the door and says, "Turn to page 394". Oh wait... wrong movie.


Sunday, June 28, 2009


Uh... Was that Chucky doing the voiceover?

While some of you may think this video is funny, *glare* my heart breaks for Jasper being denied his *lifeblood*. He should give up this sacrificial life with the Cullens, move to Bon Temps and learn to drink True Blood. And then he would spend the rest of eternity tasting the sweet nectar that is Spank's blood...

That dude's hair better not look that suspect in the whole movie. Yikes, the Sponge Bob voice actually fits his look! Sorry Spank, don't hate me because I love Rob.

Uh, hello? Jasper? My Grandma called and she wants her hairdo back. Seriously, did he get his hair done at the salon that offers free do's for the seniors on Wednesdays? (Sorry Spank - I know I'm new here, but I can't keep it in.)

I wonder if he is sleeping in curlers to get his hair to do that.

Who's been passing the Haterade, around here? I happen to think that his hair looks... oh, damn, who am I kidding? He looks like he should be playing Bingo at the American Legion.

Be assured that I will be paying special attention to the credits to see who is responsible for this look and, trust me, when I'm done with them they'll be wishing the world was full of vampires and shapeshifters instead of Sicilians...


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Straight out of Compton

Stephen Moyer, who plays Bill Compton in True Blood had this to say about Robward: As for the competition, Twilight’s toothsome Robert Pattinson, Moyer simply says: “He’s a pussy! He’s the slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires.”

The League responds:

If by comparing Rob to Slim-Fast and Diet Coke he meant to imply that he tastes great and is less filling, I wholeheartedly agree.

"Oooooo Suhkie"

Hey, Ginger, that's my line!

I thought that was Bill's line. *wink*

Ginger Piss-ant.

If Stephen Moyer did say that then I sort of have to agree. Since watching the True Blood series (all in one day - last week) I immediatly said that True Blood and Bill Compton made Edward Cullen look like Mr. Sissy pants.

Now, don't shoot me but there is something very sexy about Mr. Compton. He's raw and gritty. Which is what drove many of the Twilight fans to fanfic. Had Stephanie Meyer written her series geared toward a slightly older age range then "fanficdom" wouldn't exist. I personally got full enjoyment/satisfaction (hehe) to actually see some vamps/humans seal the deal, hit a home run, do the nasty! But that's just me!

I know Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen is a fantasy of mine. And you, Mr. Compton, are NO Edward Cullen.

Spider, Edward is raw and gritty. Or at least he is in my dreams. Personally, I don't find anything sexy about Bill Compton. I have to admit I've only read the series and not watched, but he just annoys me most of the time.

Now, Eric Northman, on the other hand, apparently tastes great and is more than filling.

And he has 1,000 years of experience... Viking style.


Friday, June 26, 2009

Battle of the Bulge

Suddenly I have a craving for hot sausage.

All I can say is I'm sad he's not wearing sweatpants. I can't even tell if he's circumcised or not!

I may not be in my twenties anymore, but I'm not that old. Yes, my contacts are IN. I just don't see anything. Do you think that maybe I do see it, but there's "nothing" to see??? My worst nightmare has come true. RP has a pencil ____!

Spider I have to agree with you. Taylor is putting Rob to shame and that's just all kinds of wrong!

You guys are SO wrong. Keep in mind that it is unseasonably cold in New York right now AND it has been raining a lot and ...

You know what...? I am NOT going to justify his love. If you have a problem with Rob's "member" go join Team John Holmes.

I'm with Spank on this. And, Spider! How could you even say that? Pencil___? No way. I'm not sure I even know who you are right now.

Think what you will, but I'm going to stay in my own private fantasy land- where there is nothing about Rob that would make you think that he is lacking in any department.

Maybe he's a grower.

He does have Chia hair - maybe he also has a Chia ____??

The only penis envy I have is that someone else gets to have it - and by someone else I mean Kristen Stewart.

That is utter NonSTENse. How could you even go there? Gag.