Saturday, February 28, 2009

La La Laurent

Ginger will be on Team Laurent today. I have no trouble with them casting a black man in the role of an olive-toned Frenchman when he looks like that. Especially when he speaks in that kinda French, kinda Caribbean accent. In this case, Artistic License is our friend. I'm looking forward to seeing more of Laurent in New Moon. BEFORE the wolves get him, that is.

Mmm... Yes, if he wasn't so scary in the meadow in New Moon I'd ask him to lay down beside me and recite poetry just to hear his accent. At least if I'm lusting after the vampires in this series I know I'm not breaking any laws, anyway. It's much better than thinking about Jailbait-Jacob.

I hope they show him being shredded to bits! Doesn't do it for me - Now Edi Gathegi on the other hand... very sweet.

There is a part of me - and I don't know how dominant that part might be - that is rootin' for Laurent to win in that fight against Jacob and his pack of dogs.

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Friday, February 27, 2009

For the love of Bella!

We at The League realize that we are prone to having a laugh at Kristen Stewart's expense and think she's a total piss ant, but in the essence of fairness, we are determined to dedicate a post where we applaud her work in the film Twilight. We will attempt to separate Kristen Stewart the person from Kristen Stewart's portrayal of Bella in the Twilight Movie. Wish us luck.

I know that if I try hard enough I can find the Golden Onion within Kristen's incessant pouting, twitching and eye blinking and give credit where credit is due. Unfortunately, even though through most of the movie she did a GREAT job as Bella I choose to focus on the scenes where she blows because I actually think I resent her having the audacity to turn down Rob Pattinson. I think there's a compliment in there somewhere...

There you go again... you can't do it! Neither can I, it's so hard. WE will have to give each other the strength to do it. For the fans, for our professionalism, for our integrity, for our character, we have to be positive!! We have to be brave for one post!

This may require heavy doses of medication and bottles of wine for us all.

Oh, I think we can handle that.

You guys had me at wine!

Just like Spank is our resident Jacob-hater, I'm our resident Bella-lover. Oh wait... that didn't sound right at all. Sorry, too much wine. I loved KS as Bella in the movie. LOVED her. And thought she was cast perfectly. In fact, I liked her version of Bella better than Stephenie's version. *GASP* Yes, I just said that. Only because I like strong women, and Stephenie's version of human-Bella is very weak, always needing protection. I felt like KS played Bella as a little more strong, which I think matches Bella better. And I loved the blinking, jerking KS did and felt it was so Bella-esque. The only Bella part I didn't care for was the hospital scene, which I REALLY didn't like. It's KS and how she's acted AFTER the filming that has me annoyed at KS the person. But KS as Bella I liked. There I said it. I need that wine back now please.

**passes bottle**

Oh Ginger, you've got me all teary! Actually one of my favorite Bella moments is a teeny tiny one but I thought it was perfect and so real. When Bella and Charlie are in the kitchen and she just came home from school (greenhouse field trip) and was so utterly distracted by Edward that she couldn't even really speak. The way she responded to Charlie's questions and drank her water before emptying it quickly. And then the "hmm" before leaving the room was fantastic! I loved her in several other scenes too but let's not get too crazy with the Stewart Love Fest 09'.

OMG! Spider listen to you; you're drunk! But I actually agree: I enjoyed all of Kristen's scenes with Charlie. I felt she played off the father/daughter vibe between the characters brilliantly. ** tilts back head and empties bottle. **

Notice how I haven't actually said anything in this post? **sipping wine** I propose a toast to not saying anything if you have nothing good to say.

If we're really going to do an homage to Kristen Stewart right shouldn't we be hitting the bong instead of the bottle?

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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Oh for the love of all that is holy...

Kristen Stewart, will you PLEASE just shut the hell up? We have endured your moping, stilted interviews. Your complete disregard for your fans. Your total lack of desire to support, promote, or speak about Twilight. The final straw, though, was your recent statements to Nylon and through your father. To paraphrase, you said the fans of Twilight are psychotic and you declined to present at the Oscars with Rob Pattinson because you want to be chosen for a "good movie" and not a movie that "makes a lot of money."

While Kristen is clinging to her "artistic integrity" she's alienating the fans of Twilight. How many actresses in Hollywood would KILL for a blockbuster movie? That cover of Nylon magazine wasn't because of her daring performance in whatever-movie-she's-out-promoting-while-being-a-bitch. Now, I know she's smoked a lot of pot, so economics might not be her strong suit. I'm gonna break it down in a way she'll understand: Twilight = money = pot. No Twilight = no money = no pot.

But Meadow, tell us how you really feel.

I have a feeling that Kristen Stewart, star of noteworthy films Zathura: A Space Adventure and Catch That Kid, won't be needing a seat saved for her at the Oscars anytime soon.

Kristen said in the Nylon interview that she lacks a "contrived personality" but she wasn't broad enough -- she doesn't have a personality at all; or at least not one worth mentioning (without the need for expletives). Her brooding about the fans of Twilight and the promotion for the film is not only pompous but incredibly insulting to her Twilight costars who have all carried the publicity for Twilight with a respectable level of appreciation for the movie and the fans. It is becoming increasingly difficult for Twilight fans to separate Bella from Kristen and it's not too late for a fresh start, Summit. I say give Spank a chance...

I, I, I, uh.... uhhmmmm, no..., no...... you, you just can't say that about me. I don't, can't, don't ever say that about me, don't uhm ever say that about me again... I'm too, too talented... I mean... you just can't say that about me!
Friggin' piss ant - boot the biatch!

I hear Natalie Portman really enjoyed meeting Rob at the Oscars. Maybe we could hope for a recast for Eclipse.

Normally, I would be a huge advocate of continuity and not switching out characters... hence the whole reason I campaigned (in my head) to keep Taylor as Jacob. But, K.Stew is pissing me off with her attitude. I think I'd be willing to make an exception to my love of continuity and accept Natalie Portman as a new Bella. Besides, if the rumors are true, sounds like there might be some real life chemistry between the two.

Helloooo.... Spank as Bella... Anyone? Anyone?

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Junior League: Why Does Bella Reject The Marriage Proposal?

This week's Junior League Member is Valerie from Mom of 3 Crazy Kids.

Ok Ladies, I think this is what needs to be addressed...
Why in the heck does she not want to marry Edward when he first proposes in New Moon. Come on...

You’re wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it’s a joke.
Edward Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 24, p.540

Well, I’m nearly a hundred and ten. It’s time I settled down.
Edward Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 24, p.540

Then in Eclipse when she won't keep the ring on until the end of the book. What is this all about?

This is the part of Bella that makes me crazy (besides her willingly kissing Jacob). Because even a girl brainwashed by her marriage-hating mom shouldn't be able to say no to Edward's proposal.

I think this was all an effort to bring home the fact that Bella was still just a teenager. Why else would she care if people thought she was knocked up? (Especially since she was with Edward-freaking-Cullen. I mean, I'd have his babies. Spinecracking childbirth and all.) (You know you would too.) In the end I think it really WAS all about "But what with the neighbors think?" which didn't fit with what Stephenie Meyer had led us to believe about Bella's personality. I was glad that she seemed to "get it" at the wedding, but she's a smart girl. You'd think she wouldn't have been on the verge of passing out before walking downstairs. At some point it should have occurred to her that she was marrying EDWARD CULLEN. Which is a good thing.

There is a total disconnect here for me because you are on the one hand willing to end your life to become a "monster," and "eternally damned" as Edward so lovingly refers to his existence (which to us, really, is a gift from God) but then marriage is too much of a commitment for you? I actually even get the testing the waters with Jacob in New Moon after Edward leaves. But when Edward returns she makes her decision. That should be end of that story line (one would have hoped). Sorry, it's very hard to keep my focus when I am blinded by rage over Jacob. Back to the point - It simply baffles the mind how she whined about the proposal and marriage until virtually moments before she descends to stand before the most perfect undead man to ever walk the earth. That's just enough to make me think Stephenie Meyer is just a wee-bit Team Jacob. I mean, after all, who else would make a WHOLE PORTION OF A BOOK TOLD FROM JACOB'S PERSPECTIVE while Edward is suffering over his ever ungrateful pregnant and dying wife while taunting us with an unfinished manuscript of Midnight Sun coupled with threats of never finishing it? Okay, you know what? Now I just want to be AT the wedding so I can have run at Bella when Jacob's done howling and barking at that little insufferable ingrate.

Amen, Spank. Preach it, sister. Ah, huh

She rejects the marriage because she's a stupid piss ant!

It's EDWARD CULLEN!!! *shaking head in disbelief*

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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Edward is Too Gentlemanly

Okay girls, we all know that Bella and Edward had a rough start, filled with misunderstandings, drama, and lust. I don't know what it was like for any of you, but when Mr. Meadow and I were "getting to know one another" not every question we asked was about our favorite colors. If you know what I mean. No matter HOW "Edwardian" (ha ha) he was, I wish we'd have gotten to hear something non-chaste from him. Because really, we know it wasn't just her blood that he craved.

**insert picture here that makes me want to throw myself at the screen in a very un-mom-like way**
You know he was thinking this: "So, Bella... How do you feel about any cold, wet thing now?"

Can I get back to you on this? I am too busy thinking about those raindrops... really, I'm just thinking about being one of those raindrops.... It's almost impossible to stop.

He came oh so close in Eclipse, uh, page 619 when he said, "Why?" he asked again, his voice low and rough. "I love you. I want you. Right now." So close. Yet never really satisfying us, huh? And where, by the way is this adult version of Breaking Dawn that was 600 pages and Stephenie wrote for her sister? Why can't we see THAT version? I'd pay good money to see Edward talk dirty.

Tell me about it! Maybe we should start a petition to go around with "Save Midnight Sun." What she wrote has to be better than the fanfic stuff. (Not that I, you know, read fanfics...) Ahem.

EVERY time I see this shot of those raindrops my body shivers! And there is only one word that comes to mind FRENZY!! Ginger, thanks for the page reminder, I'll have to double check it just to make sure you wrote the correct one done, yep, it's accurate and I'm sighing!

"Give us Forever Dawn, Stephenie!"

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Monday, February 23, 2009

The Robtastic Oscars


Would you agree that Rob's appearance at the Oscars went by faster than a vampire running? Nevertheless, it was the best 56 seconds of television. Viewership dropped by 40% when he left the stage. Seriously, the producers really should have just had a scroll on the bottom of the screen with the list of winners while Rob read Midnight Sun to us.

Did you see those bedroom eyes? He positively smoldered. I have no words. I think I might spontaneously combust. Must go find Mr. Meadow...

Seriously, Rob was so obviously nervous, or maybe he just spent too much time at the Academy bar beforehand. BTW, did any of you hear what he even said? I spent my limited time with Rob undressing him in my mind. He wears boxer briefs, in case you were wondering. Well, he WAS wearing them... Gotta run...

I heard something about becoming a vampire... I don't know. I was hypnotized. And can I just say that Rob should've snubbed Seacrest on the red carpet like Brangelina does, after what Seacrest said about Rob's personality. Or maybe that's just because Rob is the BETTER man and won't stoop to his level.

Mmm... I could imagine Rob stooping. Bending, growling, nibbling... Oh, Mr. Meadow just changed into his Old Navy peacoat, gotta go. ;)

I AM NOT HAPPY... I was expecting him to do a longer presentation like the ones before. I watched in great anticipation..............

Ok, I'm going outside (in the snow storm) to calm myself (cigarette) for a few minutes and gather my thoughts. Then I'll come back and comment!

I'm back. WTF was that! It was brief, he was stunning, he needs to go away. This is WHY I didn't want him at the friggin' Oscars!!! He should be in Canada - with piss ant! Hurumph! I feel jilted, like an ex-lover!

Quick, someone tie up Spider and force her to watch the Robalooza slideshow so she can calm down. Or force feed her some of those Twilight Sweethearts. Breathe, Spider, breathe.

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Photo courtesy of Robert Pattinson Life