Sunday, May 31, 2009

MTV Movie Awards TONIGHT

There are some rules for The League (yes, that means you too) tonight.

1. Go HERE and vote for Twilight as Best Movie. Okay, we know that Slumdog Millionaire won the Oscar but we will abandon cinematic excellence for the opportunity to see Rob Pattinson run his fingers through his hair as he stammers through an acceptance speech on the big stage one. more. time.

2. Follow @SpankRansom and @SpidrMonkey on Twitter because we will be there tweeting during the MTV Movie Awards. Be warned, things MAY get ugly as only one of us is on Team Robsten.

3. Join Spank Ransomransom and SpiderMonkey Twilightheaded on Facebook because we'll be there as well.

4. Put your adult beverages on ice. Drunk tweeting is strongly encouraged.

5. Check in here tomorrow for The League's *deep thoughts* on the New Moon trailer *squee* other any Twi-highlights from the evening.


Storytime with Meadow: A Darker Shade of Twilight

So, say you're James. And you really really hate Edward. You want him to suffer in the worst ways you can imagine, which means making BELLA suffer in the worst ways you can imagine. Would you really just have a tape of Renee? I mean, you're an evil vampire. Screw being "clever," you want pain. Yeah, it's that bad. Which is what I like so much about VampGirl's alternate Twilight. It's angsty, deep, and touching. So consider it a Twilight written for an adult audience. If you're in the mood for a light smutty read (and really, there's nothing wrong with that) this is not the story for you. But if you're looking for a version of Twilight that you can get emotionally invested in, (and that has a good bit of Edward's POV), then head over to Twilighted to read A Darker Shade Of Twilight. You won't be disappointed.


Saturday, May 30, 2009

Buttcrack Rob

As devoted as we are here at Twilight-Headed to our beloved Buttcrack Santa, I'm thinking I might actually prefer Buttcrack Rob. *call me crazy*

Yes, much preferred ... and the bottle he's carrying isn't tiny or little either.

I wonder why they couldn't buy him pants that fit? Not that I'm complaining, but a nice pair of low-riding tight jeans wouldn't have been unwelcome. Especially during the frontal shots. *wink*

And did you see the front of the pants...?! He's got friggin' rabbit ears because they don't fit.

Boxers or briefs? I'm thinking neither!

I'd love to see him in briefs. Oh wait, I already have, in my dreams about a million freakin' times.

Rob needed loose fitting pants because he and Kristen didn't have a whole lot of time in the trailor between takes for him to be struggling with his wardrobe. That's also the reason he went commando.

But Kristen is wearing really tight jeans that look kinda hard to get out of, so that can't be it. You know, unless Rob was the only who needed to undress and.... Oooooohh.... Go Rob. *smirk*

Well she isn't eating the hot sausage from the craft service's table.


Friday, May 29, 2009

New Moon Trailer at the MTV Awards!

This Sunday is the MTV Movie Awards. This year the event is about more than just golden popcorn. Because this Sunday we will be treated to the first New Moon trailer. *squee* More importantly, this will be the first "official" date for Rob and Kristen, although Summit is making the kids take their pet Taylor to the show.

I have a sneaking suspicion that New Moon is going to blow Twilight away and instead of us Twi-hards demanding Stephenie Meyer finish Midnight Sun, we'll be harrassing Summit to remake Twilight with Chris Weitz as the director! We can just call the first Twilight just a long trailer, or a spoof... SO excited!!

Twilight was just a bad dress rehearsal compared to what we'll be seeing this November.

I'm not sure if we can be friends anymore. Are you saying Twilight is not a masterpiece? Oscar material? **SHOCKED** Ok, ok, I agree with you. How about we demand Chris Weitz make a Midnight Sun version of Twilight? Fewer scenes with Bella can't be a bad thing, right?

Better yet, we should just push for Summit to finance a movie titled: "Isle Esme".... directed by Ron Jeremy???

Do you really think Rob needs direction from a bloated aging nasty looking porn star? I think he'd be motivated by a good buzz and an excuse to grab Kristen Stewart's ass. In fact, I think they're probably rehearsing scenes right now.

As long as Ron Jeremy isn't in the film, I think it might work. I just don't want to have my vision of Isle Esme tainted by his shlong.

*snicker* Did you just say "shlong"?

No, no, Ginger. Ron would just be directing since he has the experience in adult "filmmaking"... He can show Rob exactly "How to Be."

I like where you're going with this. Such a production would ensure that there would be no fade-to-black, though there is the inherent risk that we blackout if we actually got to see pantless Rob. Working title: Twihard Cock.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

Magna Cum Large


Take THAT dog lovers!

Ginger, I am far from speechless but if I were to write anything I'm thinking down we'd have to put a content warning on this blog.

Yeah, Meadow. Best we pull a Melissa Rosenberg and keep our site safe for the children.

Ginger, we are FAR from safe for children. I was just trying to keep a sense of decorum on our site. But, in an effort to show Ms. Rosenberg that you can express *ahem* desire and still keep things on a PG-13 level I'll put it this way:

I want to wrap my legs around that fine waist, dig my fingernails into his well-defined back, and make him forget everything but my name. Which I would ensure he screamed until he was hoarse.

I want to lick the sweat off his six pack.

Ok, ewwww.

*staring some more* That kind of reminds me of my favorite Spike picture. We just need him to stick his hand in his pants too. Or if his hands are busy, I would be willing to lend my hands.

By the way, has anyone else noticed that Rob's glorious reveal also showcases his really large, bulging package? That prepubescent sharkwolfboy's got nothing on Rob. *booyah*

Noticed? My heart is racing - frig, I must be ovulating again. I want to f*ck him like an animal.

I want to feel him from the inside.

*snicker* He gets me closer to God...

And, btw, my shitty day improved mightily when I saw these pictures. They could print them up as mood stabilizers.

... how are these mood robilizers prescribed? Are they given in edible form or by injection?

I'm wide open for either option, Spank.


*photo credit to (and Mr. Ginger for removing the CGI dots)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Junior League: Twilight Continuity

Today's Junior League Member is eyaustin from

Superhero Name: Feathery Hair
Superpower: Ability to "will" her daydreams into reality

My friends tell me I have a slight case of OCD, because I like things neat & orderly, and I have a keen eye for detail. While there were MANY obvious issues with Twilight, I also noticed slight issues with continuity in things... For instance, there were several scenes in which there were small objects or costumes that were different from moment to moment. These are just the items I noticed the *ahem* first time through:

The first scene I noticed an issue with was during the "Procrastination Phase", when Bella is waiting to confront Edward, she is standing by her truck in her coat, and has on a grey shirt and a green sweater-vest.

She then says "and the next day" and is wearing the same shirt/sweater-vest combo (just minus the jacket.)

Also I noticed the scene where Bella is running from James. When she is getting ready to leave Charlie and she is in the kitchen, there is a water bottle on the counter.

The shot cuts to Charlie, and when she turns back around and it is gone.

Did anyone else notice anything?? Or do I have some other form of OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder)?

Thanks for thinking about this one! I love reading & commenting on your blog daily!

All signs point to the fact that the continuity person was on thorazine. It's either that or she was so dazzled by Rob that she couldn't concern herself with silly little details like wardrobe, props and, you know, HER JOB!

I cannot stand the inescapable issue with the friggin' breathing tubes up "piss ant's" nose during the last hospital scene. You would have to be on more than medication alone to have not noticed the fact that Bella's tubes moved all over her face AND that Edward changed positions in different shots (while supposedly sleeping). C'mon - puleeze, give the cougars a hurrah, and not insult us THAT badly?

I'm really impressed that ANYONE could focus on anything other than Rob during this movie. Instead of worrying about continuity I think we should be asking ourselves a much more important question: Why wasn't Edward in EVERY scene?

More to the point on continuity, let's examine why Edward and Bella go from "hello" to "I don't have the strength to stay away from you" in like 15 minutes. Because apparently we needed to take that precious screen time to develop the love affair between Eric romancing the worms while drinking compost tea at the Greenhouse.

You know, I never noticed the water bottle in the movie but I think I know what happened. While Edward was waiting in the truck for Bella, he realized she'd need something for her long road trip. So he whipped into the kitchen, took the water bottle, and whipped out... without them even noticing. You know how damn fast vampires can be. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

Hmm, maybe that's why Edward appeared in such an un-smooth, un-Edward-like manner. He threw himself against the door NOT to freak Bella (and me) out, but so he could reach to throw the water in her truck bed.

*snicker* Meadow, sigh. Why didn't they pick you to write the screenplay? I'd pick you over Lame-ass Rosenberg ANY day!

Ginger, that wasn't a euphemism for anything. We all know he doesn't throw any "water" into Bella's "truck bed" until Isle Esme. *grin*

I think beer just shot out of my nose.