Okay, so by now we're all well-versed in the art of Rob-porn. There is plenty of decent smut out there, but when I started reading "The List" by Laura Cullen http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=2026
I was blown away. Not only is it smutty (and, oh, is it EVER) but the characterizations are spot-on, even when straying from Stephenie Meyer's plot slightly. Bella is strong and daring and innocent and confused. Edward is repressed and shocked and lustful and loving. In short, fabulous.So, in honor of "The List", I've made up a list of reasons why I love it:
1. Bella writes down her fantasies. I don't even do that. But I totally should.
2. Edward talks dirty. At least in his mind. I ♥ his mind.
3. Alice HELPS Bella seduce Edward. Total WIN.
4. Blue. Crotchless. Panties.
5. There are shower scenes. WETWARD. *swoon*
6. Laura uses "Closer" by NIN in interesting ways. Ways that are now starring in personal fantasies of mine.
7. Did I mention that Edward talks dirty? Mmmm...So, anyway, you guys discuss.
I'm gonna print out a copy and hit this one little lingerie store here in town before Mr. Meadow comes home. He won't know what hit him.
*panting* I need to go find Mr. Ginger. RIGHT. NOW. Quick, someone distract the Ginger Juniors.
*deep breaths* Thanks, Meadow (and Laura Cullen) for providing this incredible "manual." Sorry it took me so long to write my commentary but I've been busy acting out some of the scenes with Mr. Spank. Thankfully we have a wooded backyard with lots of trees to choose from. Now if you'll excuse me it's time for our shower. *shiver* 
Oooh. Good idea. I think I need to get a hand-held showerhead. Heading to Home Depot now. *wink*
WOW! Meadow, you have totally earned the title "slut" in my book. ... and you know you're evil, right? I mean that in the best possible way.
Wow, Spider is stepping down and letting you take the top spot for League Slut, Meadow. We should get you a trophy or something.
How about we send her an anatomically correct ice sculpture?
*snicker* But do I still get the trophy? 
Trophy? Meadow, you may be close to accepting an award at the AVN Adult Movie Award's if you keep going down this road... We just need to find an RP look-alike for you to "rehearse" with (on video, of course)! Now, there's your trophy!
Oh, and then the Adult Film RP look-alike can deliver the ice sculpture when it's done?
When you're done with The List I strongly suggest checking out Laura Cullen's other story on Twilighted.net, While You Were Gone.http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=1751
It's a really well-written take on the "What if Laurent DID bite Bella before the wolves arrived" concept, which is one of my favorite AU concepts to read. I like it for several reasons. First, there's no Renesmee. Second, I feel like this concept gives Edward a chance to man up and apologize for what he did to Bella by leaving, and lastly, I love it because the relationship that they form is then founded on equal footing. It's a great read, you should really give it a chance too. You know, for after your "The List" induced activities.
47 comments:
wow...
you guys are hilarious!
Feel Very Honored Meadow!!
Congrats!!
First - I'm 2nd to comment? I'm thrilled!
Oooh I do love Sunday mornings....
Oh dear Meadow - I love, love, love --- The List. And ur so right about how the story's been written true to the characters and even how Alice helps Bella...it's my fav!
The big secret is that Mr. Robin and I starting reading "robporn" together. He caught me "moaning" and saying "sweet baby jesus" one evening while reading Submissive, and was of course CONCERNED when I went into a deep crimsom blush so he decided that I needed his help...Don't get excited ladies, he still hates Twilight and the whole Edward/Rob part but likes the - uh - french benefits/rewards of the smutfiction.
@Spank
Mr. Robin and I have a nice private wooded area behind our condo with NICE Evergreen trees...it's been too chilly to do anything but I've made "a list" and we have a "date" as soon as the weather improves....
@Ginger
new shower in our condo - due to old shower leaking throught the floorboards to the condo below - NOT GOOD - so ~ it's got these weird shower heads all over....after reading SMUT and having my wetward dream - I'm finding that they are QUITE useful.
MMM. I wonder if Mr. Robin is awake yet. I might have to take a little peek....like RIGHT now. *panting*
I've never read any fanfiction, but I will definitely check this out!
After you're done with The List you MUST read The Office - WOW. My fave so far.
I am as bad as Meadow now. I have already found and read both these stories. Waiting for updates on them is killing me. lol Meadow girl I believe we were sisters separated at birth. haha
HI EVERYONE! MEADOW--THANKS FOR PIMPING MY STORY! SO GLAD YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING!
~LAURA CULLEN
@Laura - No, thank you! Really, Mr. Meadow should thank you too. ;)
@BeCullen - Tell me about it! I get excited everytime I see Twilighted.net or Fanfiction.net in my inbox. Like, TOO excited.
@HHS - You're totally stealing my thunder here with your recommendations woman!! ;)
@Robin(me) I'm still in awe that Mr. Robin(me) reads with you.
@TotalFanpire It really is quite an honor to have Spider give up her title for me. I've been working at it for a while now. Do I need to make up an acceptance speech?
@Meadow
Yes, I have to admit - I'm in awe to and feel very grateful! Even tho, it actually started with Submissive, I'll admit that "The List" is my fav and Mr. Robin definitely enjoys it, too. *wink*
Congrats on your new title, btw! I forgot to mention it before.
@spider
That was soooo nice of you to give up ur title for Meadow. awwwww. PERMA grin! *mahaahaa*
@Laura
MY DEEPEST AND HEARTFELT THANKS TO YOU!
@Whitley
If you haven't read FF yet u are in for the treat of your life! Right OCD? Hey wait, where are you OCD?
@becullen
I KNOW, it's crazy how addicting it is.
@Meadow
Oh and uh Mr. Robin reads but it's more like "acting" while reading. (if u know what i mean) *shy smile*
Hey, I think we've gone a long ways .... considering this is the guy who practically threw me out of the house for not feeding him and the dog due to my - uh - other things twirelated....! He might even go to see NM with me b/c he's thinking it's going to be Darkward and in which case he'll get some that night. *rolling eyes*
"The List"
Ok League, u've made my day today. And u must know by now that is hard to do. But I'm totally IN LOVE with this FF. Smutty but believable. AND u know I live my life pretty realistically, don't u think? *rolling eyes*
@Laura
Bless You!
@robin(me)
I.hate.u! *stomping feet* Are u married to a God or something?
@becullen
excitement doesn't quite cover it for me. *winky wink*
@Spider
WTF is wrong with u giving up ur title! are u crazy? drunk? absolutely out.of.ur.mind? NO OFFENSE TO
@Meadow
I'd say take it and RUN LIKE HELL, right @robnutmeg...
hey where are you, robnutmeg? Are you still mad that I licked robposter? get.over.it!
GOOD DAY, all. Must get to reading!
The Lurker
um...ok, y'all know I like the List, but someone said NIN "closer" and it made me think of the ff I read last night "You Get Me Closer to God" they refer to that song quite often. I have never heard it, but they quote it a lot, so I am pretty sure I have the gist of it, lol. YGMCTG is very, very good as well. BxE are F*** buddies (they start out that way at least lol).....
I also read a really good one last night (not so smutty, *thank you very much!!*) it is very endearing, called Cascade and Cyanide....I won't give it away, but let me just tell you it hit home because I am married to this Edward (they disclose what is wrong with him on chapter 25)
But, back to the List...yeah, this was a great one! I was waiting for Edward to find her list, I knew he would have to! I love how Ed is so...um...eager!! LOL!
Alice helping her is just very blushworthy to me...I couldn't imagine! LOL!
Great job Laura!!!!!!!
@The Lurker
Yes, I'm married to my own version of EDGOD! *grin* AND frankly u can hate me if u feel the need to!
AND robnutmeg is not ignoring anyone - she's out of town w/ BF today or so she says. mmm.
@OCD
There u are, hello! I'm gonna check out YGMCTG, sounds good! But there's something about the List and the eager Ed that just makes me uh eager, too!
OME, OME, OME, OME!!! Have you guys read the newest chapter of the List???? It must have just posted because I checked last night and it wasn't there.....HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!
I was eating pizza when I saw it and started reading...not a good idea...I now have pizza sauce on my shirt and pants, I dropped 1/2 of a piece in the floor...I couldn't take a drink cause i was afraid I would end up choking....geez, this is HAWT!!!! *I am almost done, I just had to take a second and post...geez I am gonna need a shower, lol*
There is nothing better than hearing Edward talking dirty, hommina hommina hommina....
The List is ultra smutty! But I liked it.
i also liked Waiting on Dawn which is an alternate ending instead of Breaking Dawn, no Renesme. But its all fade to black and stuff. Good tho.
Love this story time every Sunday!!!!
Ok, I finished the newest chapter....oh.my.freaking.Edward
I.CANT.BREATHE!
@Ocd
Haven't checked the new chapter, yet. Too many to keep track of...I feel like I'm lost in this world of smutff and all I want to do is stay lost w/ EDGOD handy for those uh moments of need. (hey wait that sounds like I use my hubby for hawt s.e.x.!) I confess, I'm guilty! *bad robin, bad*
oh slay me Edward.... oh.my.freaking.Edward? OME....I'm gonna have to get chaptered up here - sounds mighty worthy if you.can't.breathe!
@Robin(me) I read it really quickly (and with food in my mouth) so tonight before bed I think I am going to re-read it...s.l.o.w.l.y.
very worth a second read! lol
@Robin(me)
Oh yeah, forgot to say this:
As for keeping up...geez, I have gotten in over my head! Lucky for me, the last 3 or 4 ffs I have read are all completed (I am gonna start checking for completed first lol).
I check 8 ffs daily for updates...geez!
I can't wait for the next chapter in the Office!!! It is smuttastic!!
I haven't read The List. I read Frenemies last night and let's just say the hubs got a wake up call around 1am.
So is it just smut? I don't care for domination/sub stuff.
@sakixry are you here? check your email! :o)
i need you to proofread before i upload my ff
@all
my internet connection at home is really crap and i have had trouble getting online for more than 5 mins at a time. missed you guys alots!
Ok, this is totally wrong to write this on a post about another ff, but I can't help it...I feel like a freaking retard right now! I am reading Tropic of Virgo....first chapter, difficult to read...not used to Edward being so "eager" with other girls, but whatever....so, chapter 3...oh my, I am sitting here with the biggest goofy grin on my face after reading it! It isn't smut or anything, but totally awesome!! If you have nothing to do, just read the first 3 chapters of it. (bet you can't stop though)
I can't quit grinning! I feel so stupid!! I am probably blushing for the second time in my life, HAHA!
@ocd
I feel like I invented the concept of getting "over my head" -- i feel like i'm drowning in it - although it's not a bad way to go....but still. It's insane! Not to mention, I catch myself swearing like a trouper and Mr. Robin just stares at me and says: "Who are you and what did you do with my wife?" *hanging head in shame*
@Christy
I can understand what ur saying about ff...Since I've read both Submissive & Dominant Darkward (with one eye open and the other shut) -- I'll tell you this. The List is smutty yes but it's not like S & D. I've read "The List" (ohohohohoh latest chapter...talk to me @ocd....) and I've read with both eyes open.
@vampirefreak
I've had some internet issues too and I know for sure that robnutmeg has as well. It's a conspiracy to keep us away! NO! Hey, is this the ff that u were talking to robnutmeg about? i wanna read it too! *clapping hands with joy*
@Robin(me)
DOES THAT MEAN YOU READ IT???????? If so...spill it girl! WASN'T IT GREAT???????
Yeah, my brain filter still works, I am able to only THINK like a construction worker and not speak like one...I think my family would put me in the mental hospital if I did! Mr. OCD has been with me for 17 years and I have only used that word maybe 10 times! lol....if I used it as much as I think it now he would probably have a heart attack...wonder if it would turn him on, though??? ROFL!!!!
I love the comment "one eye open and one closed" that was great! I did that a lot, too! I just don't get S & D...but Ed makes it sexy, lol!
Hey Fellow Leaguers!
@Meadow - once again you have hit the jackpot - read the the first four chapters and it is a winner!
@Lauren - LUV IT! LUV IT! Bella is Naughty and Edward is Saucy! Can't wait to read the next chapters.
@Robin(me) and @OCD - I totally agree at how these FF seep into your consciousness. Mr. beesue was home this weekend and he likes to pull my hair in the "throws of passion"! Anyway, he was REALLY pulling Hard! and I said "F*cking
Cookies! Well, he just looked at me funny but I was grinning widely!
Luv Darkward!!
Oh and OCD - the Office has a new chapter but a new writer has taken over. Go to "memo" chapter on the present site.
hello, hello!
sorry for being so late but i was also engaged in a fanfic... AG is sooo damn good... I am kind of depressed today really.. it's just sooo frustrating and saddening... I will have to re-read the List later today *grin* to get my ... spirits... up!
@vampirefreak... you are planting a BIG SMILE in my face!! You will get your reply soooooonnn!!!
The LIST!
@LAURA! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is a GREAT story! In character and so damn well written! I have your alert on darling and can't wait o read the next chapter. Unfortunately I didn't read the newest update because I didn't want to be distracted from WA but every time a new chapter comes out, I have to read the previous again too! You know, for ...uhhh... remembering where i have to pick up off! Yes, yes. Indeed!
@Meadow: Congrats for the title! Your Sunday post is soooo great and you are soooo worth it! LOL!
@OCD: You are killing me girl! Imagining you and your pizza slice... you are just killing me. Hey, maybe you could help Meadow for the Sunday post by making her recommendations!
@robin(me): I envy you... I do... I will try someday to show my BF some of the fanfics... I don't think I'll start with the List... something "lighter"... hmmm... I don't want to scare him away!
@Beesue
Memo chapter?
I read it on fanfiction.net...
I don't see any memo chapter...do you have a different website?
Love the F'ing cookies comment! Mr. OCD would have died! He knows nothing about my secret life lol
@beesue: LOL at you for saying "Cookies" to your hubby!
I have spent half a day yesterday and half a day today reading Wide Awake in the Kitchen. Usually I am locking myself in my room when I read fanfic but with Wide Awake it's safe sitting in the Kitchen too... I was really depressed and I had a permanent frown on my face. When my BF saw me he was asking what's wrong and what I'm reading and I said.. Oh, it's just a book... very intense stuff...
I'm in DENIAL! I can't tell him the truth... *sighs*
@sakixry
what chapter are you on? You sound so depressed it must be the mid-40s, huh? Trust me, I know the feeling.
I love the story, have read it a few times, but I skip chapters 44-47 cause I just can't take it again, lol.
48 is great, but I can't wait for 49 and 50!
Just know, AG doesn't ONLY love angst! lol
I think Sak, me, and the robgirls need to start a blog JUST LIKE THIS that only talks about ff!! LOL! Of course we would still come on here and post, but then we wouldn't be taking up so much of the wonderful league's pages with smut and lemons and Wetward and Darkward and Domward and any-freaking-kind-of-ward because they are all sexy!
I am so close to reading the geekward one, but I just can't bring myself to reading something that might make me "eager" for a geek!! HAHA! I was a geek in high school, but an adult geek is not sexy..can't be sexy...it's not possible....man, I know I am gonna end up reading it...I can't pass it up......
*growling like a vampire and chanting "I won't read it, I won't read it, I won't read it" while going back to Tropic of Virgo*
@OCD - Yes it is on Fan Fiction under kyla713. Chapter 11 is Memo and when you go to it she gives a letter of resignation and the name of the new author tby789.
tby789 has the next chapter on her site.
@OCD - Um... You are NOT allowed to deprive me of your stories and observations about fanfics. Seriously, what would I do without you guys to discuss Wetward with? And, Tropic of Virgo? Yes, please. I've got it on alert.
@beesue - Your recs are always welcome! I've just pulled up The Office.
Thanks for making me feel normal girls!
OK, I am confused about the Office. I went to chapter 11 and clicked on tby789 and it brought up her page. She has links to forums and such, but the link she has to the office is the same one I was at, which stops at chapter 11....what am I doing wrong? lol
@Meadow
You are so sweet! I love talking ff to you guys, but sometimes I have so much to say that I feel like I am taking over the posts, lol
@OCD: Yeah, I'm in Chapter 43 after she slapped the little prick... (i still love him, i know it's only the f****** sleep deprivation but I exclaimed "Go Bella! Woohooo!"). It's really very depressing... Even when she writes smutty scenes, they always have a hint of fear and danger beneath. You can never relax into it. It's just wonderful. It's like reading a published book! I really really LOVE her story!
Yes, yes! I totally agree with your idea! Sign me up! Dearest League, you know you will still be No1 in our hearts!! Right!?
Don't go reading the geek-story! You don't have to! :):):):)
@meadow: there will be no deprivation! Don't worry! Discussing Robward is our favorite subject! And you ARE ABSOLUTELY NORMAL! Don't let anybody convince you otherwise!
KELLAN TALKS ABOUT ROB ON AUSTRALIA RADIO
QUOTE:
#Kellanradio He's done /w'his character filming. Movie halfway done.
#Kellanradio Jealous of Edward? Kellan says has cut-outs of Rob's magazines putting his face on them. Funny Kellan!
#Kellanradio NM different Twilight? Kellan: More action based, not as much a love story. Dir. Chris Weitz very chill. Knows special effects.
#Kellanradio Rob scenes in NM: Melissa worked Edward in 'a lot' more, while staying true to the script.
#Kellanradio Rob's naked scenes in Little Ashes? Kellan: "Good for him for doing something out there"
#Kellanradio Rob pissed about smelly rumors? Kellan: "Rob never gets pissed, shy guy.. humble.. sooo talented"
#Kellanradio Kellan: "Everytime he (Rob) picks up guitar, opens that part of his throat and sings.. It's magical"
#Kellanradio About night Kellan wrapped his scenes in Vancouver: Kellan:" Hung out in Rob's room, he started playing.. he's amazing"
@mystify me
Thanks! That was great!
@ocd
sorry I got pulled away to do some grandma duty. enjoyed reading about pizza! *smirk* Never never feel badly about reading ff - b/c the way I see it - it's why ties us all together. AND I will never give it up...can't do it. I know robnutmeg won't either. like meadow, who would we confess our - uh- reading habits to?
@beesue
F*** cookies? girl, that cracks me up! *tummy hurts from laughing!*
@sakixry
hello future roomie of bff. my hubby is a rare breed but still not quite up there w/ mr. ginger *thumbs up to ginger* but it's like this i've had 24 years w/ him and we just know each other so well. i don't know. hard to explain. twilight/edward does TWY his patience, tho i have to admit but he's a good egg. but deep down he KNOWS he's reaping benefits from my little robsession! *grins*
@meadow
i agree totally w/ sakixry! YOU & the LEAGUE are wonderful! We wouldn't be here w/o ya!
@ocd, sakixry
OK OK
I'm really confused, what story are you guys talking about? AG? Which one is AG? awwww. Now I've added a new one (The Office) Read some more of The List....and I'm soooooooooo confused as to what to read now. I am now reading 10 ff. What 45 chapters, Sakixry, what story are you reading? ARRGGG. What to read...I was so excited when the author of Honeymoon and Lace by twiaddict2 added new chapters last night. OMG I just love this one. Just enough smut, no fade 2 blacks...plain darn sweet. Edward, oh sweet heaven - you can feel how he loves Bella.
HEY GALS..mmmm..Rob smut..*sigh* I need some. Just got smacked with a 4500 dollar lawyer's bill, so am not in the mood for much really.xo
Kind of puts a damper on the flippin' labido.:(
Oh thank you dear @Meadow and @Laura Cullen
for
THE LIST
It's one of my favorites and I think I started reading it the day you posted it, Laura!
Can't wait to read WHILE YOU WERE GONE...
But like OCD & Robin(me) I have more FFs I'm reading than I have time to read. And I'm literally going crazy! But I'm totally hooked.
@robin(me)
I love that Mr. Robin likes reading FF with you. Soon, he'll like Twilight...well maybe? Me? I kinda like the sneaking around my BF's eyes factor. I live dangerously. *snicker*
@OCD
Don't.you.dare.stop.talking.about.
smutfiction!!!! We all need you!
@sakixry
Please don't be depressed.
@beesue
F**** cookies? bahaahaa! *chuckling hysterically*
@vampirefreak
Hey, ff? send it my way, too! and internet sux!
@robnutmeg
I.miss.you? Where are you?
@mystify me
WTF? $4500? Why? Unless u don't want to tell me - u don't have to! That's not right! I'm not in private practice but that doesn't mean I know that some lawyers are dirty sob's! I'm sorry!
Read THE LIST! or if you aren't really into that just read
Honeymood and Black Lace
twilighted.net - It's just so bloody sweet!
@robin(me): AG is angstgoddess and the fanfiction we mean is WIDE AWAKE. Have you read it? It is VERY LONG DAMN IT!!! I am reading since Thursday about 5-6 hours a day and WTF... I'm still not finished... there are 48 chapters for the moment but 2 more to come. right ocd???
It's mostly angst but has also very nice smut in it. it's a great story.
Sorry Meadow!!! I L.O.V.E. THE LIST!!! I truly truly do! I read it in ONE NIGHT and the other day I was working!!! I even read some chapters at work! bahahaha!! If they could see what i'm reading!!!
I also wanted to say
@oh: thank you for the support
@robnutmeg: i hope you're having a great time away from us... *glares* where are you? we miss you! I hope you took some ff with you to practice with Neil? No?
@mystify: thanks for sharing Kellan interview
@all interested: Vampirefreak, our own personal brand of heroin... aaahh, fanfiction writer I meant... is making some adjustments to her story. Yes, I have read it! You can burst with envy! ha ha! It's a great story... you just have to wait some more!!! *evil grin*
Thanks@Robin (Me)...maybe we'll chat one day.It's been 5 years and my ex's fault. But I am to pay 1.2 million yup that seems fair.
Never mind.No place for that crap here.
Need to concentrate on Rob, He and I HAVE A BIRTHDAY COMING UP.
3 DAYS APART. I LOVE THAT YOUNG MAN . :)
Hello League
Looks like I missed a lot of uh fun here.
@mystify me
1.5 mil? yikes. Can i live with you? I'm a lot of fun! I have robposters! Yeah robin(me) always gets concerned about lawyer's fees and stuff - we work for the DA. Get paid to put the bad guys away!
@sakixry
u love me after all? u missed me? oh i feel better. NO I didn't have fun with Neil, the bum gave me an ULTIMATUM! Read more about it in today's post!
@robnutmeg: of course i love you! how could i not? I really liked your answer to the ultimatum though.. LOL
AAAAH! You are working for the DA! That must be interesting!
Oh. mah. gah. The List was the cause of a few unicorns in this house. wowza
You MUST read Shotgun Charlie and Place Your Bets. Delish! Oh, also Cocktails and Dreams. Can't remember if I recommended those on here before;)
Absolutely love The List!!
LOL! "Wetward" is classic. You girls crack me up.
The LIst was my first fanfic and needless to say...me likey! Thanks for the info on my next must read by Laura Cullen.
I want to thank the blogger very much not only for this post but also for his all previous efforts. I found www.twilightheaded.com to be greatly interesting. I will be coming back to www.twilightheaded.com for more information.
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