Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Junior League: Vampengill





This week's Junior League Member is: @SweetLikeSandi

Superhero Name: Summer Eve

Superpower: The ability to spot subliminal product placement in a
Saga film adaptation.


Are our heart rates regulated enough at this point to draw attention away from the near-pubescent boy and his pack of waxed pecs? If so, I'd like to draw your attention to the most disturbing part of New Moon. There we were, enamored with Aro's maniacal laughter, awestruck by Felix's strength, trembling with fear as if we didn't know what would happen in the Court de Volturi, and the voice-over ran through my head. "Does Bella ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?" Enter Alice's vision of a newly-changed Bella...set somewhere in Amish country where it's acceptable to frolic with Edward in calico and khaki. Seriously? The Burger King product placement outside the Face Punch theater was enough. Are they trying to market the new line of feminine hygiene products? Once our TwiMom medicine cabinets are stocked with Vampax, will we all be rushing to the nearest Hot Topic
to find Vampengill?

Sincerely,

Summer Eve




Actually, I think it is in fact a subliminal message as well -- that Edward is a douche bag for leaving Bella in the woods.







Bwahahaha! Maybe Edward and Bella of the future have developed an open relationship. I'm guessing she'd need something along those lines after a weekend with Jacob. (Okay, so I read a LOT of fanfic.)






Maybe they're actually going to market a line of modesty clothing for the Mormons. It makes sense, you know.







What, isn't that what vampires do together? Frolic in the forest wearing clothes from a film being adapted from a Henry James novel? *rolls eyes* Let's be honest, if Bella was wearing the hot, skin-tight ice blue dress that we 'saw' in Breaking Dawn, and Edward wasn't dressed like a... well, a douche, then I think this scene might have worked. Or maybe not.




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7 comments:

SuzanneK said...

I will admit this is the only part of the movie I didn't like - it was way too cheesy for me

Susan said...

Sandi, you make me giggle.

Anyway, true story, I lol'ed like nothing else at this scene, and my husband actually told me to BE QUIET.

dazzledbyhim said...

I guess I don't have so much a problem with the way Edward is dressed because it seems somewhat possible for him... but I have NO idea what they were thinking when they dressed Bella. I even read where the costume designer purposely made the dress like that... but that isn't something Bella would have EVER worn herself... and definitely Alice would have NEVER put her in that! Ugh... yes, that scene was the worst in the movie! This isn't Baywatch people! Vampires don't run in slow motion!!! And if they did, they wouldn't look that retarded!!!

Leo's Mom said...

I looks like they're on the way home from Sunday school.

Ilaria said...

You're missing the point, Bella there is supposed to be an 80 year ol vampire, and sinc eher fashion sense always sucked, she is dressing like grandma!

Lol, I'm just kidding! Actually it would be much more normal if Edward could lose that vest (and everything else too, for what concerns me). Bella's dress could have been a Balmain futuristic frock, and the sequence should have been sped up to give the idea of the vampire run.

These two would end up in every magazine worst dressed list. Wasn't there a woman on the set saying: these doesn't make any sense? ahrrrghhh suckmit!

Hoping 4 More said...

Total wardrobe fail. Ruined the atmosphere of that scene for me. I'm actually pretty worried about what they'll do to the wedding dress, at the rate Suckmit is going she'll be wearing a pink cocktail dress.

Dental products said...

Honestly, I really don't like Bella to be Bella. In the book she's ok, but in the movie, she's too dragging. And ever since the start I really don't like the way she dressed. For Edward, he's ok, but for Bella, she's just plain. Wardrobe failure.