Thursday, October 15, 2009

Due To Overwhelming Demand...






Summit Entertainment has an official Twitter for the Twilight franchise aptly named "@Twilight." They recently posted this bit of news: http://twitter.com/Twilight/statuses/4838059728 While I'm not complaining about getting my pre-ordered copy sooner, am I the only one who thinks this is just shiny damage control for the fact that the soundtrack was leaked online?





I think you're right. I love how Suckmit has to do so much damage control b/c they suck so bad.








Well, while they're at it, here are some other tweets I wish I would've seen:

Due to overwhelming demand, we've decided we were douche bags and have re-hired Rachelle LaFevre.


Due to overwhelming demand, we've decided to stop cockblocking Robsten and let them be whatever the hell they want.

Due to overwhelming demand, we will be releasing an unrated version of Breaking Dawn titled "Isle Esme After Dark."


Due to overwhelming demand, the US Supreme Court has exempted Taylor Lautner from the statutory rape law. After all, it's all our fault for hosing him down and feeding him steriods.


Due to overwhelming demand, we will be re-shooting Twilight as Midnight Sun with Chris Weitz directing. There will be no artsy cutaways. And there will be a shower scene.





Due to overwhelming demand the role of Alice will now be played by Spank Ransom. What? Is that just me?








Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure it's just you.









Due to overwhelming demand, we quit pretending like the rest of the Cullens don't exist in our films. Emmett will be given more than 2 lines and he will be mostly naked most of the time. What?







Due to overwhelming demand, the part of Bella will be now played by Ginger, who will choose Jacob over Edward, leaving Edward single and available for everyone else.







*raising eyebrow* Hmm... That could work.






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26 comments:

Jodie said...

I think you ladies should be the new heads of summitt those are all awesome ideas!

My personal fave:
"Due to overwhelming demand, we will be releasing an unrated version of Breaking Dawn titled "Isle Esme After Dark." "

Tara said...

I think I could handle all of those changes. Great ideas!

Rob's Swiss Miss said...

Bwuahahahaa! You girls are too funny!

"Due to overwhelming demand I vote that Twi-Headed gets editing rights to all past/future Twilight Saga releases."

@Meadow - I agree with every.single.suggestion on your list. Possibilities are...wow!

@Rain - Neked...hehe...I can't even coherently comment about that with all the scenarios running through my mind!

@Spank & @Ginger - I think you two would make a great Alice/Bella, respectively...wait, that would take TayBait off the market. Spank, you could have Jasper...but would Ginger share Jacob (at least occasionally)? Hey...you guys brought up swinging!

dazzledbyhim said...

You guys should DEFINITELY be in charge over there... at least something would come out right then! And I bet there would be a LOT of leg hitching going around!!!

Desiree said...

I love the way the League thinks. They should hire you as consultants and I can guarantee they would make even more money! *Drifts off to daydream about Isle Esme After Dark*

Taylor Blue said...

@Rain I think that you are right on with yours. Emmett naked all the time!! (Sticks her tongue out at Spank)

lauraoyola_115 said...

shower scene?? I don't remember that, but I think I'll be able to deal with this minor tweak!

Spank Ransom said...

@Taylor Blue - You might be the first woman that gets to see him like that, given his preferred team.

Meadow Cliffdiver said...

@Spank Leave the girls alone! More drooling over Emmett just means more Jacksper for you. And really, should you be pointing fingers since Jackson is more effeminate than you?

@lauraoyola_115 The shower scene is in the unfinished part of Midnight Sun that I just made up in my head. It involves Edward, a bottle of strawberry scented lotion, and his imagination. Mwahahaha. ;)

Taylor Blue said...

@Spank It's okay one night with Tay (that being me) and he'll be a changed man.

Spank Ransom said...

@Tay (that being you) - I have no doubt you'll rock his world but when he calls out your name he'll be thinking of Taylor Lautner.

Spank Ransom said...

@Meadow Cliffdiver! I might just go Bella hospital scene on your ass for such a statement!

Taylor Blue said...

@Spank He would be calling out Taylor Blue. Really, he would.

Spank Ransom said...

@Taylor Blue Denial is not a river in Egypt you know.

Meadow Cliffdiver said...

@Spank I'd throw some Jasper self-love in the Midnight Sun remake for you too, but I doubt you'd like the context. After all, it'd be because he was watching Edward. Get it? Because he's a homosexual. (Said in a Stewie voice.)

kmoye said...

i'm totally down with making a twilight/midnight sun remake! that would rock!
I am also a firm believer that suckmit is hiding TL's real birth certificate and he is really 25. its my belief, please just let me keep it. ;)

Rain Storm said...

@Spank - *shakes head* Honestly Spank. We need to get past this "Kemmett plays for the other team" thing. It's just not working. Really. I love you, but you're just going to have to accept that he is damn sexy and likes the ladies. #truth

Spank Ransom said...

@Meadow Cliffdiver @Rain Storm and yes you too @Taylor Blue -

Jackson Rathbone is ALL man. OMG he's bowlegged for heaven's sake AND HE DOES NOT DRESS LIKE HE IS GOING ON A DATE WITH DOLCE OR GABBANA.

*phasing*

Taylor Blue said...

@Spank but at least Kellan can dress hot. I want one of his sweaters to cuddle up in. I am sure that he doesn't play for the other team.

Spank Ransom said...

@Taylor Blue *hands you a sweater* There. Go cuddle. *rolls eyes*

Taylor Blue said...

@Spank Is it Kellan's sweater?

Spank Ransom said...

@Taylor Blue - okay, hold up! You just made me laugh out loud. You win... this round.

Taylor Blue said...

@Spank Thank you. I'll be here all week.

Spank Ransom said...

@Taylor Blue - I'll make sure to tip the waiter. ;)

WolfzJake said...

*Looking for the "LIKE" option on Twilight-Headed to click under Ginger's comment*

Ginger Swan said...

I LOVE YOU JAKE!!!!!