Thursday, September 10, 2009

Pissward

Can someone please explain to me why Edward always has to look so... angry in all the official Twilight stills and merchandise?





Exhibit A: This infamous look






Exhibit B: Pocket Edward. We all love him, but would it have killed him to smile?





And now from New Moon, comes Exhibit C:





We all know Robward has an amazing smile - so can we please just get a tote bag or a poster with a smiling Edward? Or at least one where he doesn't look evil or crabby? Please?





Well, maybe I read too much fanfiction and therefore can't tell my Edwards apart, isn't Edward kinda pissed usually? I mean, I think he's supposed to be "aloof" at best.







I think the thought was to try and make him look "pained"??? He does look quite annoyed. And I think it's probably because they just told him it would be another half hour before a ciggy break. And they did it on purpose to get the authentic look!





Maybe they had Kristen turn down yet another marriage proposal before each shoot. Although personally I'd expect him to look happy he'd dodged a mullet... Oops, I meant "bullet."








He's mad because he's a veggie vamp. He'd be happier if he didn't live off tofu.








And you all say Jasper looks constipated? Okay, I say that too but WHY do they have to make Edward look so miserable. Okay so he's with Bella. I get it. But that was his choice and, come on, smile a little. The Edward in the book did not look like he wanted to jump from the tallest building.






How do you know what the Edward in the book looked like? Did yours come with pictures?








Because the Edward in my book looked like this:













Ick Spank. LADIES???????? DO NOT FORGET, this 108 yr old has never, ever, ever been laid!








Hmmmmmm true. I get angry when I'm not laid. I mean, I think I would. (never actually get the chance to find out)







*raises eyebrow at Ginger*









Oh Spider! Good point. That's probably it. After Breaking Dawn we'll get smiling Edward.








Yeah but he only smiles for a second and then Bella gets pregnant with the demon child and he's all tormented again.









Don't forget the Vampire Sex at the end - he'll be smiling at the end, Spank.








Mmmm... Vampire sex. I'll be smiling at the end too. *wink*









Perhaps singing too. At the end of the movie he'll throw on some Fred Astaire shoes and starting "singing in the [Forks] rain."




*rolling my eyes* Edward is too emo for showtunes.









Edward, the sparkly twinkle toed vampire.







Photobucket

9 comments:

ciaobella said...

AWWWWWWWWW Ladies thank you sooo much for this mornings post. I think I am going to have to agree this time with Spider. It's gotta be cuz he hasn't been laid yet.
I wouldn't mind testing out the marble and having his demon spawn!!

lickhimright said...

Yes! We all love smiling Robward too and we at the RavisHim Team would like to help him get over the brooding...
You know...
ReelHimIn...HoldHimDown...ZipperDown...UndressHim...and...*winks* LickHimRight!
But all that, after our sister Reelhimin gets well!!
Thank you girls for your prayers and thoughts!
We love you dearly!

Jen said...

Hehe, I think it's definitely the lack of relations. The New Moon one I get... he's got reasons to be pissy there but the rest... he's definitely overly sullen. But I think Spanks theory is completely correct. :D

kmoye said...

i said he looked too pissy when Twilight came out. And I guessed it had to do with Suckit wanting him to appear more "vampire-ish" and scary.
I wanted my half smile! That should be on the posters!!

dazzledbyhim said...

Well, he looks a LITTLE less pissy in the New Moon poster, but I agree... I'd like something with the crooked smile on it!

Tracy said...

He said it himself. He's in pain with Bella (due to blood smell and possibly hurting her) and he's in pain without her (wants to die). I expect Eclipse will have a happier pic?


@rosenfie

Akilah said...

Is it just my eyes playing tricks, or is the New Moon poster just a recycled Twilight photoshoot picture? Same scowl, same haircut, same gray pea coat, same blue t-shirt. It looks like they just did a golden colorwash to throw us off.

Heather said...

I would buy some merchandise with that crooked smile they talk about in the book! Where is that?!

Rain Storm said...

@Akilah - I noticed that too! Did you see his arms are even crossed! Hello? Could they not give us something new? Like, ahem, the crooked smile? I'm holding out for Eclipse. He better have a crooked smile.