Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Junior League: Keystone Cop

This weeks Junior League members are the Twirobtwins from the Ravishim Team!

Superhero Names: Reelhimin and Ravismerob

Superpowers: Able to leap tall bar stools & tables in one single bound....faster if not drunk. Willing to make complete fools of ourselves for the sake of one Rob Pattinson! Able to get out of jail if one gets too Twi/Robsessed for free due to some extraordinary legal expertise. Twifans will be blessed while anti-twifans will find themselves being called "stupid humans." We share our Twi/Rob toys and pictures with those who don't complain about our Twi/Rob toys and pictures - we snarl at those who complain!

We have always wondered about this...uh...issue......Was Charlie a bad cop? We've met plenty of those in real life so we were just curious as to what The League thinks. Was he just working until he could retire? Because he KNEW that his friend in Twilight wasn't killed by an animal....Charlie makes comments to Billy AND to the waitress about it. Our guess is that Charlie was "need to know" from the beginning. Not just when Jacob revealed himself to him in Breaking Dawn. We truly love Charlie. He's a great dad! But this is the only issue we have. If you know that your daughter is dating a potentially "different" type of guy - don't you at least say something instead of handing her two cans of pepper spray? Just sayin'.

Lovingly and forever loyal to The League!

I'm guessing it was all the Vitamin R he was consuming. I think Charlie was always a little too relaxed to notice that Bella's boyfriend was unusually pale or to read too much into the animal attacks. Come on... he's living in the wettest place in the Continental U.S. What else is there for a grown man to do besides drink beer?

I know! I know! Drink beer while eating Harry Clearwater's homemade fish-fry while watching the Mariner's game!

Awww... poor Charlie, he really wasn't a good cop was he? Maybe that's how it is in tiny towns? Maybe he never really got much action on the force and really didn't know what to do with himself when the time came. Maybe this also explains why Renee left - I mean, if you don't get much action and don't know what to do when the times comes...

This bring up an excellent observation. Don't forget, Charlie "doesn't hover." That could possibly be interperted as not giving a crap and being scared out of his wits at dealing with awkward situations. Notice he couldn't face "the boys" about what he found near the river. He had to speak directly to "what's her name." Don't cops have to deal with difficult things all the time, especially the chief?? Hmmm... you may have something here girls. Very astute!

You're right, Spider... The Twirobtwins ARE astute. So much so that I think they should take over Chief Swan's precinct. And their first order of business should be arresting Jasper Hale for the illegal possession of Xanax powers. And if they require the assistance of a certain Superheroine *cough Spank cough* to conduct a full body search I am happy to service him their needs.



Chrissi said...

Charlie is clearly one of those "if I don't see it, it isn't there" kind of people. Like:

If I don't see Billy Black in a wheel chair, he isn't there. Only a beer-barrow is.

If I don't speak directly to the guys at the diner, they're not really asking me questions.

If I don't believe it's an animal attacking people, it's probably nothing. Especially if the tracks lead out of my jurisdiction.

If I shake Edward's hand while it's gloved and he's completely covered up, there's nothing wrong with him. Just remember your pepper-spray, Bella.

If I don't hover, and don't interact with Bella, she's not really there.

lickhimright said...

Oh girls! You made it! *squeeeee* Double goodness! Founding members of the RavisHim Team AND Jr. League members! Well done! :o)))

Well... maybe Charlie is not a very good cop and father... but think of it! If he would be... he wouldn't let Bella do what she did with Edward and we wouldn't have that awesome love story at hand! Sooo... I don't really mind! Hehehe! It's convenient!

Beth said...

Well, I didn't want to say because Charlie being a copper......but I caught him out back behind hte cafe on a few occasions, puffing away on 'Ganja'.

Now, my theory; this is why 'Charlie' is so laid back, come to think of it, his paranoia had set in Just before Bella told him she was off to play baseball.

Why else was he cleaning his guns whilst consuming booze......

Wheaty's Girl Creations hearts twilight! said...

lmao *giggling* cleaning guns while consuming Charlie Swan is my dad, minus the my dad trusted me a bit much and I may or may not have taken advantage of I guess you dont need good cops in small towns..hehe I am in awe ladies...league ladies and ravishim team together..that is kick a&#!!! You ladies rock seperately but could take over the world..hahahahhaha rotfl! said...

First let me say
YAYYYYYYYYY! I am sooo happy! I'm a JR LEAGUErrrrr! YAYYYY!

Yes as you may recall The R Team security does indeed happen to have Jackson in their evil little clutches right now. Let's see we think he's guilty of playing the role of zanax carrying/pushing Jazzie.....and if that is the case, we will indeed need your very skillful and uh investigative hands to search his body. just saying.

you are soooooo right. thank god for charlie!

omfg, lmao
cleaning a gun while drinking VR? shhhhh, he should have arrested himself. oh but didn't u just love it when he cocked his protective!

{doing halo over my head}
I'll be good now!

Beth said... see Ganja + booze = paranoia........

There was a hidden message in that gun cock, just trying to figure out what............hang on, is that me having a burst of paranoia now grrrrr

crazylife said...

I came across the Twilight Saga completely by accident. I can honestly say I did not know what I was getting myself into.

I would actually laugh aloud when reading about Charlie and Renee. What a lucky girl Bella was in more ways than one.It was during these times that I realized I was reading a teen novel.

Being a parent myself Renee and Charlie are not very good role models. I mean, come on, a white cold boy is hanging around your daughter and you are not just a little curious???

There is a line in Midnight Sun when Edward drops Bella off at her house and he thinks something like "At least she be safe her father is the Chief of Police" I laugh again. Yeah, you keep thinking that Edward whatever gets you through...I am thinking he must be laughing all the way to the Cullen house.

I agree, the Saga would not have been what it was without Renee and Charlie.

beesue said...

Hello League!

Congrat to the RR Gurls! Ya know, Im a Jr. Leaguer Too (polishing nails on sleeeve) so Welcome to the group!!!!! cause U guys are awesome!

Charlie def live in lala world! I mean - he NEVER heard Edward in Bella's room? She was screaming, he was growling?? NOONE sleeps that soundly!