Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Twelve Steps of The League

So we have been reading the comments and believe that we you all have a serious problem being responsible with respect to our your absorption of Twilight. So The League, being "professional Twilighters," have devised the 12 Steps of The League.

1. We admitted we were addicted to Edward Cullen and that our families lives had become unmanageable (and we are okay with that).

2. Came to believe in the power of the Volturi could restore us to immortality.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Stephenie Meyer in the hopes that such allegience will make her finish Midnight Sun.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of Rosalie Hale and decided she really is just a bitch.

5. Admitted to Aro, Caius and Marcus the exact nature of our wrongs (and how right it feels).

6. We were entirely ready to have Carlisle Cullen give us a full "physical."

7. Humbly asked him to seek assistance from Jasper, Emmett and Edward.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and sent them a Dear Edward letter saying we just can't stop.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure our uninterrupted time playing with Pocket Edward, watching, reading or talking about Twilight.

10. Continue to take personal inventory of our Twilight stuff and when we run low return to Hot Topic to replenish our stash.

11. Sought through telepathy and meditation to improve our concious contact with Melissa Rosenberg to write a great script and for Chris Weitz to not turn it to cheese, seeking only the knowledge of Rob Pattinson's will for Edward and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a sexual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to our significant others, and to practice these principals in all of our nighttime affairs.

Ok, I have to admit to all of the above. I am in! How pathetic! Can I make it 13 steps and add, have read the whole series more than twice and can't count how many times have watched Twilight!

Spider, we've already discussed this. Twice!

*Sigh* As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, I'm in the 12-step program too. Hi, my name is Ginger and I'm addicted to Twilight.

I think I've already outed myself, but I'm definitely in this 12-step program. I should amend my own #7, however, to just read, "Humbly asked him to seek assistance from Emmett and Edward." I should let you all know now that I have no, ahem, soft spot for Jasper. *Runs and hides from Spank*

Who asked her to join The League? Jasper - come, quick. I need to bring my blood pressure down.

I know how to bring your blood pressure down. It's a little something called "Vitamin R"...



Total Fanpires said...

But yes im afraid im under the 12 step program.

And i like it!

spitfirekixee said...

wait wait... are those vitamins supposed to calm us down or pump us up? =P

oh dear... a new set of commandments to live by. pretty much ticked off every step but i've yet to fully immerse myself. tsk tsk myself...

Ninja Fanpire said...

I think I can honestly say that none of the 12-steps applies to me. Oh snap I'm cured!

Sorry to say *ducks in advance* I think Rob just ruined my image of Edward and I haven't been able to get it back. And I think that's what's hindering part of my addiction. Although I still think Alice is awesome.

bellaflo said...

Hey you forgot to mention how it's affected our jobs! escaping every single free minute to twitter, read news, investigate and stalk! =)
Love you girls!

Erin said...

Hi, my name is Erin and I'm addicted to Twilight! (Bring on more!)

@Bellaflo yes, it does affect our jobs as well! LOL!

felso said...

Do I get extra points for breaking bones (my own, of course) on account of Rob?

TwiDW said...

I am an addict. Sign me up.

dazzledbyhim said...

Sign me up! :)

Ilaria said...

I have been thinking about the 12 steps before your post, dear superheroes, but I have to say that the steps in my mind would be how to become clean and cure my twilight obsession.
Yes I am an addicted too, and I cannot stop reading over and over the books. The movie, bear with me, I watched it once and it's enough. Maybe New Moon will be worth watching over and over.

deconstructing jen said...

I stopped reading at step 7. Is there a line for that one?

beesue said...

Been There, Done All Those Things,
Bought the T-Shirt!!!

@League - that would really make a GREAT T-Shirt!!!

Cheliki said...

Ahhhh I'm a Twi-addict and i don't care who knows it