Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Junior League: Mother of The Year




Today's junior league member is: MrsP_ifurnastee

Superpower: Master of the Naughty Innuendo and Unabashed P.P. -- if you don't know what that is, then you don't need to know ;)


*---SPOILER ALERT---*---------DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED BREAKING DAWN--------





How is it that Renee is such a bad mother? You would think that Stephenie being a mother might make this mother figure a little more believable. I would never send my teenage daughter to live with her anti-social, homebody, police chief father, unless she had done something horrible that warranted EXTREME MEASURES. Then throughout the story it seems as if Renee has completely given up all of her parental responsibilities, except e-mails to check up on Bella (like a teenage girl is gonna tell her MOM everything that's going on with her). Renee seems so oblivious to all the craziness that is Bella's life. I guess Stephenie needed to do that to help the story along, but as a mother I am frankly appalled. If I came across a mother like her in real life, I would definitely report her to Child Protective Services. I mean really...I would hope that if my child--





  1. Was trapped and tortured by a rogue vampire who broke all the bones in her body;

  2. Traveled to Italy without adult supervision to save her boyfriend;

  3. Jumped off a freakin' cliff;

  4. Was caught up in a twisted love triangle between a Vampire and Werewolf;

  5. Got married and fell mysteriously ill immediately thereafter;

  6. HAD A BABY!!!!;

  7. oh you know.....Turned into a VAMPIRE...;

  8. Helped to save her new VAMPIRE family; and

  9. Helped to mentally defeat an arch enemy and avoid the Mother of all Vampire Showdowns

THAT I WOULD AT LEAST KNOW ABOUT IT!!! *FUMES...mumbles to herself.....*




I'm sorry you ladies are gonna have to go on and discuss this without me...I need a minute to calm down....




Oh, I've always hated the idea of Renee as a parent. It also used to bug me that Bella called her parents by their first names, but since they were such suck-ass parents I accepted it. I don't really blame Charlie because he never really had the chance to be a dad.







What about Esme? She lets her kids have s-e-x ... IN. THE. HOUSE!











You're totally spot on, Mrs. P. I think Renee was too busy boning her new youthful husband to care about being a parent anymore. Cause we all know the spontaneous sex ends when you have kids around.









Maybe that's the REAL reason why Bella wanted to leave. At least she knew she wouldn't come home from school and find Charlie naked on the couch.








*snicker*










At least Charlie was just watching baseball whereas Renee was actually rounding third base forcing a squeeze play on the couch with Phil as she makes her way toward home plate. *Holy Cow I think they're gonna make it.*







Mrs. P, great points. I think her disgusting grooming habits are reason enough to have called the Department of Social Services on her. We should refer to Renee as the real hairy monster of the series!








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13 comments:

~Jamie said...

What I don't get is why didn't they just kill off Renee in the beginning of the series... wouldn't that have made more sense... if James actually HAD her mother and took her down.. that would have been way more horrible for Bella!

Ginger Swan said...

@Jamie, Oooo I like that! Would've tied up all the loose ends with Renee in Breaking Dawn.

~Jamie said...

yes exactly! It wouldn't have been like they randomly need to make phone calls or whatever... would have added a bittersweet moment to the whole wedding, and would have given Bella pause to question the idea of immortality and losing everyone mortal that she loves later down the line...

Wheaty's Girl Creations hearts twilight! said...

that is not renee to me..that is jack bower's dead wife on 24...nuff said..we dont need her. I cant take her seriously. lol She weirds me out in that scene too.haha

you cant down esme...she is only their mother 'for all intents and purposes' hehe I surprised she had the authority..or thought she did to tell rosalie to clean up that mess..haha

Johanna (Twilightish) said...

I think Renee is single handedly responsible for all of Bella's troubles. I mean, she would have not moved to Forks if it hadn't been for Renee driving her out of Phoenix. Poor Bella didn't even want to be around her and Phil. They were probably getting down in every corner of the damn house.

I really don't understand why book Bella says that her mother is her best friend, when she didn't tell her mother or gave her even the slightest hint of what was happening in her life.

Ilaria said...

I like your points, ladies! maybe that's SM's idea of a "best friend"? my mom is my friend too and I don't think I kept ever anything from her, except for details of my relationships that parents should not know, once you're pass the sex talk and stuff. And the fact that she doesn't check on Bella after the wedding, or ever even wants to visit her daughter that was so sick? yeah yeah yeah...doesn't make sense at all!

LeLe said...

Yeah, I didn't get the part in Eclipse when Bella had to tell her mom she was getting married and Renee was all like, "You've been 30-years-old since you were a kid..." blah-blah-blah. What? Wasn't Renee a very non-committal person and shouldn't she have thrown a fit? My mom would!

Erin said...

Okay, don't shoot! Wait to hear me out about Esme:
-I'd let my 'kids' have sex too, I mean no one should be immortally forced to be a virgin. All that pent up tension would probably cause the loss of a lot of human lives. And she does have some super hot 'kids'. They deserve to be happy too.

Renee actually reminds me a lot of my mother (the whole irresponsible part). My mother didn't know anything about me or what was going on and I lived in the house with her & my father. My father was quite and would only say something if he really felt the need to. But again, my best friend calls me Bella for a reason, I've always been uber responsible and 'middle-aged'. (Example: I'm in my mid-20's and I'm on house #2) Geez I'm old.

But anyway, sadly Renee isn't the only 'parent' out there who is irresponsible about protecting their kid.

From what I can tell, you ladies are great parents!

Ninja Fanpire said...

I don't blame Renee for not knowing about that stuff, seeing as, like you said, "like a teenage girl is gonna tell her MOM everything that's going on with her". Renee is on the other side of the US in Florida while Bella is in Washington. I don't think you can get much further than that without leaving the country. And if Renee called instead of E-Mailed, it would be like in the movie where Bella randomly hangs up when she doesn't want to talk anymore or when Edward mysteriously shows up.

Besides, CHARLIE didn't even know what was going on, and it was going on in his house! If he didn't know, how in the world was Renee supposed to?

Spider Monkey said...

Wow this conversation got serious!


Jamie - I'm bowing to your genius!

Meadow Cliffdiver said...

@Jamie, @Spider Monkey - Do NONE of you read my fanfic recommendations??? In Sunday's recommendation "A Darker Shade of Twilight" James DOES have Renee in the ballet studio. And you're right, it does make the story seem so much more poignant. And armpit-hair free. ;)

Caitlin said...

The lack of concern renee had in the book did kind of get to me. I mean what mother choses her husband over her daughter, because if you catch the undertones of the novel, thats exactly what she does! Even in the movie renee is more concerned with TEXTING Phil than to really give her daughter a decent convo!

I mean my mother would never let me tell her so little! Shed make me pour out every detail and then come fix it! And I actually find it tragic that Bella had to raise her own mother, she never really got the innocence of a child, that purity that you only have once! Renee stole it from her because she couldnt grow up.

Personally I'd have Renee taken out by James in Twilight and that would just make all the books so much better.

Lady Christina said...

While I agree that it would've been better for Renee to actually die in the first book, because most of the time she is an absentee parent, there is one time when it was good that she was still around. After the wedding, when Renee's holding onto both Phil and Charlie, and Bella comments on there being different kinds of love, THAT was a good passage. I guess the only question is whether it's enough to warrant wanting her to stay alive, especially since they won't have that part of the scene in the movie. Probably not.