Sunday, May 3, 2009

Storytime With Meadow: The Office






When I think of "The Office" what used to come to mind were images of British import Ricky Gervais, Steve Carell, and Dwight Schrute. Now that I've read "The Office" by Christina (tby789) what comes to mind is a "Beautiful Bastard" (portrayed, of course, by British import Rob Pattinson) and ripped La Perla panties. You can guess which one I prefer.



So, what do you need to know about "The Office"? This is not an "in character" fanfiction. Edward is the CFO of Cullen, Inc. and Bella is his assistant. He's cold, he's irritable, and he seems to hate Bella. The feeling is mutual. And in the very first chapter they have angry, totally inappropriate, mind-blowing sex. Say it with me: Windoward.

That's right. Wetward has competition.




As I started reading this, Edward Cullen was remarkably reminiscent of my boss... then I read on and realized that I'd never be so lucky. Damn. Screw overtime and bonuses... I'd work for free for those fringe benefits...







Tell me about it, Spank. I mean, I do kinda work for free staying home with the Meadowlings every day, but Mr. Meadow doesn't buy me La Perla panties. I may have to drop some hints. Or read him a few passages.







Ah, you guys know me. I'm a newbie to the Fan Fiction and OOC fanfic is too hard for me to get into. All I can think of... MY EDWARD is not a self-righteous pompous prick. MY EDWARD wouldn't have angry, inappropriate sex. (yes to the mind-blowing part) MY BELLA wouldn't hate MY EDWARD. Maybe name them Horace and Gertrude and I'd be all over the story. *wink*






I don't know, Ginger. All I can conclude after reading this is that my true calling in life is to be Rob Pattinson's assistant.










I agree with Spank, Ginger. Just think of it as a movie (in my mind), starring Rob Pattinson, playing a character named Edward Cullen. Who wants to have crazy sex with me his assistant. See? Problem solved.







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89 comments:

Ninja Fanpire said...

Nope, nope, not going to read it Meadow! I don't like most stories that stray from the general plot. Or that make the characters go completely....Well, out of character! Likely the only thing that makes this a fanfic is the fact that the character names are the same. And perhaps a smidge of their personalities.
Just slap in a Bella and Edward and it's a Twilight story.

sakixry said...

Good morning Ladies!
What a nice subject we have here... I believe that this ff must be one of the hottest stories I have read... really... almost every single scene (What do you think OCD? Is there anything hotter you read? Not that you would know since you dont do things like that...)! Especially the Stairwell and the La Perla changing room... *sighs*

In contrary Ninja, I like this kind of OOC and AU ff exactly because it has nothing to do with Twilight (WA has also NOTHING to do with Twilight but is F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C.) but I can imagine Robward playing in this one... and he would be SOOOOO good in this role! Aaaahhh... Mr. Cullen, maybe I could send you a CV or something? I would L.O.V.E. to be your assistant.

And now again... sorry about this publicist role I am playing since yesterday but LEAGUE! HAVE YOU READ VAMPIE'S FF??? IT'S WRITTEN FOR ALL THE TWILIGHT-HEADED PEOPLE YOU KNOW AND THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE COMMENT FROM YOU! HELLOOOOOOO!!

Meadow, sorry you are sick girl! We love you! Get better soon!

Ginger Swan said...

@sakixry, don't you worry a bit. Our dear vampie will get her own feature on Storytime With Meadow very, very soon!!! We LOVE that she wrote a fanfic just for us!!!! In fact, Mr. Ginger will gladly make her a picture to go along with it.

sakixry said...

@ginger: woooohoooo! Congrats dear Vampie!!! OOhhh! I'm so happy now!

Signed,
Vampies crazy publicist
Sakixry aka The Dazzle Goddess

vampie said...

morning1..err.afternoon all..
i woke up at 11.30am LOL

i agree with Ginger and Ninja (hey it rhymes). i prefer
FF that stays in the Twilght world, but OOC is ok. BUT this is good.. i just imagine its Rob, not Edward. :op
and the All Human fanfics - are just Rob and Kristen.

@sakixry you are doing a great job!

@ginger woohoo! well, if you need anything, just DM me on Twitter :o) yes, Mr Ginger please make me a picture!

vampie said...

that was supposed to be morning! not morning1
definitely not awake yet..

@sakixry i'm goona be on Storytime with Meadow! o.m.f.g. yes!! i am soo happy right now :o)

vampie said...

i give up on spelling today..

am so tired today, probably all that dreaming about Rob. no.. sorry EDWARD in the shower :op

robin(me) said...

Good Morning, dear League

WELL, I'm still (as well as Mr. Robin) reaping and recovering from the benefits of one said VAMPIE's shower lesson FF. BUT I'm always GAME for another one...THE OFFICE? I like this one. Angry edprick.

@Meadow & Spank
If my first prick - I mean - attorney (boss) I interned for gave me panty action every time he wanted me IN HIS OFFICE NOW ... I don't know if I would have ever went to the PD and then to DA's office. Of course I still would have been married to Mr. Robin(me) -- (wiggle eyebrows @sakixry) ...and would have popped out some little robins but my "professional" life would have been a lot more - uh - satisfying -I think!!!!

It doesn't really matter though, I already DECIDED that I'd work for Windoward.robward.wetward or anyrob anytime and anyplace....and be his personal legal guide (guide to the bed, the shower, the filing cabinets, the big and large oak desk, etc etc)

@sakixry
hey i reviewed @vampie - but i don't know if it posted! i did my duty!

@vampie
woohoo, still loving the showerob!

@ocd
speaking of The Office, even tho you won't admit to reading H&BL w/ the mops and squeegies - (shaking head) I KNOW UV READ THIS ONE! no claiming amnesia! LOL

sakixry said...

*squealing & bouncing* @vampie: yes you will! yes you will!

sakixry said...

@robin(me): aha... was your boss THAT good looking?? And also, I know you reviewed! I just didn't know what was wrong with "The League"! Now I know and I am H.A.P.P.Y. for Vampie!!
Let's just hope Isabella is not reading ONLY yours and robnutmegs comments... bahahaaa! She would never look at Mr.Robin(me) the same again... and certainly your room shower!

What is this H&BL???? Spit it out already!!!

robnutmeg said...

League League League

I would said that the sun woke me up this morning -- but it's behind a nice big gray cloud - ONLY in Seattle! (grimace)

@Meadow
Have I read, The Office? two words: traitor nipples! Let's just say that I have these little memories whenever I'm in our conference room! windoward!

@Spank
I wouldn't care if my boss hogtied me to a desk as long as he ripped my VS panties off (sorry but I only get paid paralegal wages) -- AS LONG as it was Robward oh windoward he could tear anything I own!

You know maybe we should do a cross fanfiction with Lathering_Up, The Office and Submissive/Dominant! Now that would be interesting, don't you think? (ok backing up to a corner)

@sakixry
did u ever get ur FF about mops & squeegies answered? Oh @robin(me) is hooked on Honeymoon & Black Lace - I've read it, of course - and it is quite good. *wink* But I like The OFFICE & Lathering_Up better!

@vampie
Did you ask about riding crops & spanking yesterday? Dear Lord, you could give "spanking ff" queen a run for her money...forgot her name now. I'll get back to you!

robin(me) said...

@sakixry
I know u were giving the LEAGUE a bad time...but I hadn't seen my review post so just making sure. I'm a little hesitant to UH read Lathering_Up this morning. We have to do things OUTSIDE of the condo today....*devilish grin*

Oh and H&BL is Honeymoon and Black Lace...I love this one. Edward is so playful and a little dark - yummy! I won't tell you about the mops & squeegies, you'll have to read about that on your own! *wink*
Oh and Isabella, Mr. Bella and little Edward went on a mini getaway. Not around this wknd - whew!

@rnmeg
OMG, do you memorize every line to all of the FF's? geez. traitor nipples? *mahaahaaahaaa* I guess I'll have to reread the Office.

robin(me) said...

@sakixry
Oh and yes my first PRICK boss was quite a looker but he was simply a PRICK!

@beesue
ur a grandma, too? wow. we need to start our own grampire club or something.
I just have one little edward who is 2 and runs around the house saying Edward Cullen Edward Cullen. AND of course little Isabella comes in early July or maybe sooner? I hope ur granddaughter is ok - fire ants - my mom lives in AZ and I know all about those! *cringe*

OCD Sufferer said...

Not that I know about Bossward or anything, but *don't hate me* Rob is too young to play this part. *IF* I had read this ff, Bossward would be closer to my age, still smoking hot, but more mature.
Also, *IF* I read this kind of stuff, I heard there is another one very, very, very similar (which actually *does* cross the Office and Dom/Sub!!!) called Subject: Edward Cullen AKA the Womanizer....I heard that it has a lot of grammatical errors, but definitely worth the read...but I wouldn't know first hand....ahem.
I wish I could join the conversation about this, but since I don't read this stuff, I have no idea about Windoward *shift in my seat* or ripping panties *shift again* or what was that name? Beautiful what?..I have no clue!
I also am *not* going back to reading Saturday School and wishing I had Saturday School like this when I was in high school because then I would have been a naughty girl long before I got married....no, I am not doing that either.

kmoye said...

The Office is by far my most fav ff!!! Seriously you cannot get any hotter. Its just not possible : ) And the story so far is good too. It did take some getting used to with Edward being a jerk and all but its hot.

sakixry said...

@robnutmeg: hello there crazy roomie! oooh! i agree! Rob... with any -ward to it can rip also every piece of clothing I own! Thanks for letting me know the ff titles! I must have asked 3 times and she never wrote them... *glares @robin(me)* I guess she wants to keep Honeymoon-ward and BlackLace-ward all to herself! *grin*

Yes, indeed! It would be very interesting... hmmm... a story about Robward, a beautiful bastard who likes to lather up while playing with his riding crops and his handcuffs... ROFL What a wonderful idea! You think you can write something like that vampie?

@robin(me): outside of the condo? will it be somewhere near to a meadow or some tree trunks or something like that? I am thinking of the List and WA... hmmmm...

sakixry said...

@ocd: ok, since you are not a smutty ff reader... interesting how i can find a smutty ff story in fanfiction.net called "Saturday School"... hmmmm...

@kmoye: sizzling hot! like very very hot! it's not getting hotter!!

AJ said...

OME!! I just read The Office last week! WTF, why haven't I ever had a boss like Windoward?!?! What should I read next???

OCD Sufferer said...

@Sakixry
I don't even know what you're saying. Saturday School? huh? What is fanfiction? I am clueless...

Spider Monkey said...

Good morning ff sluts! :)

I'm terribly sad that nobody noticed that I was not in this post as a commenter. :(

The reason is that I haven't had a chance to read it yet and didn't feel that it would be appropriate to comment/lie about something I didn't know about!

Here is the GOOD news (for me)...

I'm going to read it very soon (now.)

See you in the conversation soon ladies.

robin(me) said...

@ocd
You need to come out of that shell of your's! geez woman! At least it's NOT "Sunday" School!

@Sakixry
Heyyyy, I did tell you about H&BL! I just didn't see that you had asked about it. Little preoccupied yesterday with Mr. R and all..... *uherm* OH and there's uh trees and beaches in H&BL, too! - OMG I've become lawyersmutslut! geez. At least I admit it....(glancing at @ocd)

@AJ
Uh read let's see - Lathering_Up, written by our own vampie, Oh sorry @sakixry! Sakixry is her publicist and it's really HER job to get the word out...If you are into UH mops & squeegies, operas, beaches and trees - You should read Honeymood & Black Lace OR if you are interested in "riding crops" & the HARDWARD - go for Submissive but make sure whatever YOU do that you take the wheels off your computer chair b/c damn that gets you into BIG trouble..... *innocent wink*

@robnutmeg
Hey how's that order coming with Warren re: the edwardbot! *winking @ginger* Those of you who are BTVS fans will know exactly what I'm talking about.....*evil grin*

HappyHourSue said...

I LOOOOOVE The Office. My husband loves when I read The Office.

Squeegee me, Windoward.

Anonymous said...

My my FF Sunday - the days of the week just fly by don't they?

First and foremost, I noticed right away that @Spider was missing from the League page....and I said to myself...she's left to go to Volterra to be Gianna?
*winking @Spider*

@League
The Office, is quite good. Since I don't work or plan to in the near future - since I'm a lazy slut and I'm indenpendently wealthy *rolls eyes* - I would change my mind to work for robprick or even edwardprick! Hell, I'd work for anycullenprick - and I would even consider OT w/o pay if the benefits were uh NEGOTIABLE....(wink @Spank)

@robin(me)
well well well. I never would have guessed this about The League's lawyer! mmmm. Wouldn't you just LOVE it if edwardbossprick ripped UR briefs! mahaahaahaaa!

@OCD
uh come on, stop already. just b/c i called u osd doesn't mean ur really OSD....somebody has to be, right?

@sakixry
mmm. if i write a FF about the Volturi (since I'll be FAMILY) - with Edward and Spider and Lurker having some LAP time...very soon - will u publicize it for me, too?

@AJ
riding crop, handcuffs, kneeling benches (and not the praying kind) and darkward...that's what the Lurker suggests for you!

@robnutmeg
edwardbot? (thumbs up) have him work on a spikebot as well.

As always,
The Lurker

robnutmeg said...

@HHSue
squeegie me???, (*squeeeee*) and we all know how u feel about janitor closets.....U NEED TO READ, Honeymoon & Black Lace - it's right UP YOUR ALLEY!!!!! (grinning @ you)

@Ginger
thanks for the advice about edwardbot! I'm working on it! Prices have gone up, tho. Have to NEGOTIATE with the PRICK (I mean) BOSSMAN!

@ocd
I agree, *winks @robin(me)* you need to come out of the shy shell of your's. We want our OCD back!

@robin(me)
Please don't tell me that u & Mr. R. will be "screwing against" - I mean - "checking out the condition of" the trees that are behind OUR condo complex...please! *ewww*

@sakixry, vampie
There is a new monster in town, called lawyersmutslut (LOL)
"Now I'm afraid".......

kmoye said...

@happyhoursue- my hubby loved me reading the office TOO. However he didn't undertsnd why i kept asking why WE don't have a stairway or a large window or a dressing room or.....

Anonymous said...

@HappyHourSue
Kmoye's comment reminded me that I meant to comment on ur comment before - but failed to do so...
so my thought is that edwardbossprick can squeegie u, wipe u down and then come to me so that the windows will be STREAK free! *grinchgrin*

@kmoye
if u don't have a stairway, large window or dressing room - u can just go out to @robin(me)'s place and borrow one of her trees...i'm sure she won't mind? oh wait, u'd have to ask @nutmeg too. (sounds like nutmeg is a little protective of her trees....mmmmm)

@nmeg
"now i'm afraid.." so am i! and i'm the "scary" lurker....bahaha! *smirk*

-The Lurker

beesue said...

Good Morning Fellow FF Reading Club Members!

Luv the OFFICE, LUV the Beautiful Bastard, LUV La Perla, Luv bathrooms, backseats, dressing rooms, elevators and desktops!!!
@sakixry - agree - I am very tired of Isle Esme stories and like the ones with a different storyline. Like -Wide Awake, I Love LA, The Sub/Dom, The Arrangement and I just read Tropic of Virgo and it is really good. I can just take so much of Ed/Bella worshiping each other - I need some angst!

@OCD - know you won't know what I am talking about but really like T of V - Drunk Bella/Bandleaderward-hip story!

@robnutmeg - here's a little something from La Perla - VS doesn't carry this:
http://www.laperlausa.com/USA/servlet/com.dsdata.taxi.tecx.SetIDWebObject?ID=11273&IDType=prd&ColorValueID=0002

@robin - I have three - 4,7&8. Of course I had my son when I was 15, he got married at 12 and that makes me 39 -BAHAHAAHAH!
We definitely need a club -Fiesty Granpire's Anonymous!

@Ohforthelove - where are you? Sing to us!

OCD Sufferer said...

OH.MY.GOD!!!!!! I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE 10 Things I Hate About You (R.I.P. my beautiful Heath!!) and in Saturday School-----
EDWARD PULLS A HEATH LEDGER MOVE!!!!! HE SINGS IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL TO BELLA!!! BECAUSE *SHE* LOVES 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU!!!! My dreams have collided and I am done for...absolutely done for.
Ok, I can't deny reading ff after that...that was just freaking awesome!
Edward/Heath crossover, Oh.my.god.I.have.died.and.gone.to.heaven.and.Heathward.is.waiting.at.the.gates.for.me.

robin(me) said...

@OCD
Uh there's my girl! What? 10 Things? I guess I'm going to be READING again. (quickly removing wheels on computer chair, *cough*)

I just wish someone out there (glancing towards @vampie) would combine Spikeward....now that would be positively delish, I think. What do you think @ginger? Can the two best vampires in the world join forces?

@beesue
LOVE IT! u crack me up grampire sister! 15? must have been a tough labor! mahaha! we're still HAWT grammamas! a force to be reckoned with!!! *wink*

@oh
Heyyyy, @beesue and I are wondering wth u r? mmm?

BeCullen said...

Well I have seen this ff but didn't care to read it. Now I have to read it. hehe Meadow is going to be the death of me. lol

OCD Sufferer said...

@in(me)
oh my...this S.S. isnt just BxE, it is also EmxR and JxA (though A is still a virgin so far, in chapter 14, lol) but I mean, even though I usually don't care for the other couples, this has each of them's perspective and some of it is hawt, lol. I <3 Jasper! OH MY GOD! He is so stinking cute! Ed unfortunately is a horndog, lol, but...
HE PULLED A HEATH SO I DON'T FREAKING CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, the ladies who write S.S. constantly suggest other ffs, so now I have like 5 more lined up for...um...later.
I actually saw one that was 62 chapters!?!?!? WTH?? Not sure I wanna go down *that* route lol!

OCD Sufferer said...

@BeCullen
Yeah, I blame Meadow for my OSD-ness. I never woulda read any ff if it wasn't for her.
Now I read crap that makes me feel all dirty...and even worse...I *like* feeling dirty now....sigh. It's hopeless

When you read Domward and get hopelessly horny you know your mind has fully crossed over to the dark side...and once you are on the dark side, there is no.going.back

sakixry said...

CAUTION: Loooooooooong comment following... (yeah, now I got your attention *devilish grin*)

@AJ: as a good publicist, you should read "Lathering Up" from katiecullen! You can find it in fanfiction.net! *satisfied grin*

@OCD: yeah, yeah, yeah... going all Kstewpid on me again, huh? LOL

@Spider: I'm terribly sorry I didn't notice you were missing and I'm utterly happy that you are not a lying bitch :):):) I also think that you wont recover that easily after reading it so dont make promises you cant keep! LOL

@robin(me): i forgive you for letting me wonder because Mr.Rob-was-(in) you! BAHAHAHAAA!
Also, I dont mind for you playing publicist for Vampie when I'm gone! She's our Vampie! We share in here! Dont forget that!
AJ want get into "bad" trouble if Mr.AJ is like Mr.Robin(me) *wink* It will be a "nice" kind of trouble...

@HappyHourSue & kmoye: Yeah, I guess he will be very happy after you reading the office... Seriously, the girls writing this story should be paid for what they do... right?

@Lurker: Write me a good smutty story and I'll be your publicist too baby! I'll do anything for Robward smut!

*giggles like crazy* @robnutmeg and her screwing against trees comment!

Lawyersmutslut is a GOOD user name!

@beesue: i agree to all of the ff you mention! i just havent read "The Arrangement" and the Domward! But I WILL... very soon! I like how we can find VERY INTERESTING authors in the ff world! Seriously! Wouldn't it be possible to just change the names in "The Office" or "Wide Awake" and make them a movie? Or "I Love LA", "Tropic of Virgo"? It would be a GREAT movie! There would have to be a lot of fade to black... but great stories!
I loved the whip by the way...bahahhaaa!

@robin(me)&vampie: yeah, yeah... robin(me) wants you to "combine" Edward and Spike... like some days ago when she said she wouldn't mind about the two of them together... you got the hint??
*rolling eyes*

LOL @ OCD: Yeah thats always the problem with one fanfic... they always tend to suggest another, and another ... and before you know it our brain is turned into jello... Mine is for sure turned already...

robnutmeg said...

@becullen
come on go ahead read it. u'll feel better!

@ocd
Meadow, I'm not blaming Meadow *winking @ Meadow*
BUT, YOU'RE BACK, YOU'RE BACK! oh what a relief! i.missed.u!
Now let's find a way to make anikanedward...mmm? or haydenedward - b/c damn there would be NO stopping me then! AND spikedward, YES PLEASE!

May the darkforce now known to be horndog (? - LOL, @ocd) eddie be forever with us! AMEN

@beesue
thanks for the link! mmmm.

@sakixry
yep, i think they've already done the trees...that's way all the leaves popped out like all of a sudden!!!!!

Ginger Swan said...

@robin(me) I totally have a Spikeward picture. I'm just waiting for the best time to reveal it! ;) I also have a Beffy as well.

sakixry said...

@beesue: please share the link of "The Arrangement"! Thanks!

OCD Sufferer said...

Haydenward? That would be heavenly! Oh my! He can use his lightsaber on me any.time!
Heath was always my number one until he left us, so of course Heathward is much more heavenly than Haydenward, but hey...we can't have too much of a good thing, can we? Haydenward, Heathward, JOSHward (I would fall out of MY office chair that btw has no wheels on it....) Edward using a flower petal.....me.thinks.I.need.a.shower

beesue said...

@sakixry - here is the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4577261/18/The_Arrangement

This is the threesome story - Ed/Bella/Jasper. One word of warning -the author has not updated since 3-24 and I am wondering if she ever will. I am very frustrated - so be warned that it may not be finished.

Hey I whipped out my Visa to purchase!!!! $560.00 - are they kidding? Their panties are $200.00!

I would luv to see Wide Awake published and then made into a movie. That is a great story!

OCD - also luved Heath - OK-OK-OK was going to work in the yard today - Saturday School - HMMMMMM!

OCD Sufferer said...

Ok, that is where I REALLY draw the line. I cannot read threesomes, lol....also I can't read BxJ or BxEm etc.
It has to be strictly BxE...no kinky threesomes and such.

beesue said...

@OCD there are several SS - is it by withthevampofcourse?

sakixry said...

@beesue: threesome? uh huh... very interesting (hear robin(me)?) and why hasn't the author updated? ok, i'll take it slow! try not to get too upset if i dont get an end to it!

You think that there would be a problem if the WA author would just change the names and so and would publish the book? I mean a legal problem? Robin(me)? Robnutmeg? I mean, she certainly SHOULD TRY! She has SO MANY FANS right now! Somebody should care about it!

@OCD: Just dont come back later and say ... yeah well, i didn't had anything to do last night and started reading the arrangement... okay?

OCD Sufferer said...

@beesue
Yeah, that is who it is by.
Also, just to warn you guys (cause no one warned me...eww) Bella actually "does it" with Jacob. But it isn't like that..even though I still tasted vomit after reading that chapter, lol.

OCD Sufferer said...

@sakixry
AG is making a book of WA. There are a few problems, though. She can't do it as smutty as it is. We do know the name of Edward for the book. It will be Wade (Wide Awake's Darke Edward). We don't know anyone else's name, though.
I still think (even though I will buy WA) I will like my printed out online version better cause I think when she cuts it down it will lose some of its luster...and I don't think I would feel comfortable saying, "Oh Wade, I love you!" hahahahaha!
Don't worry, I won't EVER want to read about threesomes...not my cup of tea...ewww

OCD Sufferer said...

wow everyone is quiet...are y'all reading Twi-porn? hahahahahahaha!
I had to breathe for a minute before I spontaneously combust. Now, back to Saturday School cause I have been a bad girl.....

OCD Sufferer said...

Those of you who love Carlisle.....WHEN (not if) you read Saturday School...there is a special treat for you....not for me...not only is he to "father figury" for me, but he just doesn't make me hot and gooey lol.

vampie said...

@robin(me) Spikeward?! the 2 hottest vampires ever?! hell yes!!
threesome? you, edward and spike? what do you think? in a really random alternite universe. .. ?!

or just you and spike? tell me a scenario. in the crypt or at your house or ?

@meadowc thanks for the review!

@all if there's an idea/fantasy that everyone would like i'll write it :o)

me:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1840222/katiecullen101

vampie said...

@ocd.. . what?! Carlisle??!!!
where is this link.. ?? %^**&
and umm i kinda like that fact he's father figurely :op

OCD Sufferer said...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4400989/17/Saturday_School
Mind you, this is actually the link to the page I am on (with Carlisle) you need to go back to the beginning unless you just wanna read about Carlisle, hahaha

vampie said...

@robnutmeg yes.. please find this spanking ff !

@robin(me), @becullen thanks for the review!

Snarkier Than You said...

Ok here I am again chiming in totally late as usual but i can't help myself... [where does sunday morning GO?! seriously...] As a relative newcomer to the whole m-rated fanfic thing (is there really any other kind? why??), all i have to say is OME i can't believe what i have been missing out on!! smutward, where have you been all my life?! i'm in agreement that OOC fanfic is a little tougher to get into, but wtf: a hot story is a hot story and if you want to think about robward so be it; if not, just enjoy it anyway! : )

vampie said...

@ocd hot damn! thank you for the link! i suppose i'd better go back and read the other (non carlisle) chapters now :o)

OCD Sufferer said...

the one right after Carlisle is Esme and it is pretty hot and steamy (about Carlisle) too. Just so ya know ;)

robin(me) said...

Wow, gone for just a few hrs and there's like 20 msgs to read thru.

Mr. R and I actually went to uh church b/c after yesterday we kinda felt the need for just a tad bit of redemption. Heyyyy, as I said to Mr. R - I felt like I was cheating on HIM and he said that he felt like he was cheating on ME...it's weird what FF does to ya! Talk about OCC in an AU! I'm still "recovering"! mahaahaaa!

So now it's catch up time....

@Ginger
spikeward, pic? yes, please! *jumping up and down with pure joy*

@vampie
1) ur welcome! but it is i who should be thanking YOU! *wink* & Mr. R thanks u too!
2) threesome w/ spikeward? oooh. i have to say oooooh. *faint, thud, dead!* crypt? mmm. i'm thinking Beverly Wilshire!!! wanna add one more? haydenward! (are u in, @ocd?)

Oh, did @rnutmeg give ur the spanking FF link(s)? she's got those down to a science. *rolling eyes*

@sakixry, beesue, ocd
yes, slight legal problem - well in this state - with a FF based on SM's characters going for anything BUT free reading pleasure. but...if u don't mind the posibility of being sued through ur eyeballs....go for it! depends on if it made $$$ or not....*bummed now*

Can't say I'm into 3some either! UNLESS i'm ONE OF THE 3 *wink* I'm not much for switching couples either - i'm flexible but not that flexible. What do you think @robnutmeg (she who is way more liberal than me)?

@snarkier
Yep sometimes u just have to say WTF! oh dear - I guess I need to go back to church, now (hanging head in shame)

Ok so I'm having a very difficult time with getting SPIKEWARD out of my head now. The more I think about it....the more I need to find Mr. R and that TREE! geez!

"You're like a drug to me.....no sh*t!"

@lurker
why are u being so nice? wait, no ur not - ur picking on me? huh?
pfff.

OCD Sufferer said...

@in(me)
She is changing their names so that she won't have legal issues. She is changing their appearances *slightly* so she doesn't get into trouble.
*wicked grin*

robin(me) said...

@ocd
That's good, except for one small little tiny tidbit....the FEDs have probably read the books, too. Which leads me to this hair-raising heart stopping conversation I had today in my church of 4,000+ members...

The reason WHY I go to such a large church is so that we can disappear in the CROWDS, right? NOPE.

Apparently some high state officials like our church, too and it gets EVEN better...they all LOVE Twilight....KNOW the books from front to back covers AND it's scary to think that one of them is kinda like Chief Swan ONLY FOR REAL...and his wife is a robward crazed fan and omg i'm just like standing in a little corner behind a fake palm tree (yeah a real one in WA?) and I just wanted to die....and all Mr. Robin(me) kept saying - "honey, it's ok we are married ya know. so what if you were inspired by some FF called Lathering_Up!" oh and if that wasn't bad enuff....he continues on by saying "hey sweet bunches - did u hear them, they like bob too." and i go "WHO?....IS....BOB?" and he goes, "you know that guy whose picture is on the ceiling of our shower? with the ciggy coming out of his mouth and in that strange crotch holding position?" AND in a shocked small voice I said, "you knew about that?" and he said "not until YESTERDAY" *cough, choke, sputter* OH>DEAR>MERCIFUL>ZEUS ----ground open up and swallow me whole, like now please?

Of course by now, one of those uh state officials had to turn around and LOOK my way. AND she just smiled. (oh to have that volturi deathy pointy thingy - I might have used it on dear hubby)

SO~ I'm not so sure what to think - all I know is that this Twilight thing is HUGE and LARGER than I ever thought! of course I've always just wanted to live this inconspicuous life style but ROB changed all that.

So *hands up in the air*

Now, I might as well wear my I sleep with Edward Cullen t-shirt to work now!

Defeated smutslut - i'm doomed!

OCD Sufferer said...

@in(me)
I am totally confused by your church comment....how do you know how many ppl like Twilight? and how did you get on the discussion of Twilight? and why were you humiliated? I am so confused.
As for the FEDs, what do they have to do with WA? rofl....have you been drinking again???

As for me....I haven't even stepped back into church since I started reading ff! I was an AVID churchgoer...never missed a service and now I can't even look at my church w/out feeling uber guilty! I just drop my kids off and go sit at my best friend's house and talk Twilight until time to pick them up.....I am bad...so bad. I just can't help but think I will be sitting in a pew and start having Robgasms!!! Yeah, I have issues.....

robnutmeg said...

Oh.My.God!

@robin(me)
i didn't see u guys at church....i went, too. UH yikes....u ran into those ppl? eeekkk. i stay away from THAT side of the church at all costs.... @Mr.R - wtf are u doing to your dear sweet wife who showed you a very good time yesterday? mmm? feel like coming over and smacking you...no wait, i'll borrow that black vampire wandy lightening bolty strikey thing from JANE and come over! *evil glare* PFFFF. some ppl!

Ok but I can't help but giggle...I'm sorry, @r'in - that just cracks me up and the funniest thing is I can actually PICTURE you hiding behind that stupid palm tree! *bursts of laughter* roar! OH GOD, I think I hurt myself....bahaha!!!!!!

Oh and Robin, can I have that picture now? I can add it to my robposter....just saying.....*wink*

@vampie
I think there is a real urgency here for the spikeward FF so that we can (mahaha) cheer up (mahaha) @rin(me)!

Oh and I have 3-4 doozies of spank FF. Let me know what kind u want....*innocent eyes*......
I have Edward spanking Bella, Carlisle spanking all the Cullen boys, Esme spanking Edward (which is totally hilarious - ESME mean brush spanker) name it - i got it. OH and if you want it real dark You can read Submissive.....but don't read it if you have a weak stomach....just saying...

Anybody out there?

@sakixry
I think those trees will be safe for awhile now....(worried glance over at the robins house!)

vampie said...

@robin(me) LMAO ! your conversation with Mr Robin.. brilliant :o)

anyone know any single Twi fans who wanna re create my/our shower fantasy.. o.m.g reading about Robin and Mr Robin is soo great. i love you guys. and i'm guessing Mr Robin really likes me right now.

and no, @robnutmeg hasnt found any links for me .. yet.

vampie said...

@robnutmeg
email me everything !! LOL
*blushing*

madaboutvamps@googlemail.com

i sent @Spank a link to a Harry Potter one.. i 'think' she liked it.

robin(me) said...

@OCD
no not drinking YET. no you see this lady who is a FED agent started talking about twilight after church to me and some others. (she didn't really bother me, I kinda know her) not sure how the conversation started but as it STARTED to GROW, I kinda drew away by hiding behind the palm tree b/c one of the other ladies I did KNOW and don't care for at all. She said what about that Rob Pattinson? and that's when Mr. R started rattling my cage....when I was just trying to get away.....creepy man!

Regardless, I'm not going back for awhile...maybe she'll forget she saw me.....*grumble* Plus she has NO right to OUR Rob, anyways!

@rnutmeg
YOU WERE THERE? How come I saw HER and not YOU? Life would have been easier! Yes, come over - bring a bottle, please!

OCD Sufferer said...

well crap.
I thought since S.S. hadn't been updated since March 1st it was possibly completed...nope, they just leave ya hanging. Geez. Wonder how long it takes them to update? Good grief! Nothing like waiting on ANOTHER ff......
I swear, I wish I could ONLY read completed ones and not get sucked in to the ones I have to wait for updates on........

robnutmeg said...

@vampie
Damn I hate comcast! It never works. I would ask @robin(me) to email them all to you but uh she's a little in a tizzy right now with hubby. maybe they'll find that tree together....*rolls eyes*

so I'll try and linkem here....

This is E sp B/w hawt sex -AND the only down side is that it hasn't been updated (grrrrr) in ages!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4761881/3/Selfish_Behavior

This one starts off really good, but gets wacky in later chapters and has not been updated either.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4723638/1/Once_Upon_A_Twilight

This is pretty new but hasn't been updated lately but I really think it's fun! Carlisle & Esme spank the boys! Emmett/Jasper getting a spanking cracks me up!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4942557/1/Family_Values

AND when you read this one - it looks weird when you open it up...it's not from fanfiction.net just scroll down...until you get to Darkened Moon of an ECLIPSE - Missing Part 1....READ....then scroll down to Missing Part 2 (which is kinda hard to see b/c it's in the midst of comments) but well worth the read...I liked these...Edward spanks Bella and you know I agree with the author - she deserved it, the little brat!

http://throughiriseyes.blogspot.com/2009/02/twilight-of-my-days.html

ENJOY, vampie and let me know PLEASE what you think! I'll send you more afterwards, if you want me too.

sakixry said...

@ocd: that ag is making a book, is making me really happy! i hope she will still let some smutty scenes in it, yes? wade? hmmm... i dont like it very much. i prefer rob! THAT will be his name in MY printed version!

@snarkier: i like your way of thinking! wooohooo!

@robin(me): the church didn't do you any good i think... LOL AT YOU! You are making me crazy! I am trying to muffle my laughter here cause its like 2 am here and my bf will think i'm having msn sex or something~!

@robnutmeg: oh, so you are not only Robsessed but also Spanksessed! Right?
You liked the one where Edward really spanked Bella? I mean really really spanked here! Like hurt her and she couldn't sit straight and he also made her write that she wont disobey or something again? You dont seriously mean that.... pleeeeaaaaseeee!

@vampie: i REALLY cant imagine getting hot while reading a Harry Potter fanfic... I mean, dont get me wrong... I love Harry but not like Edward! Well, maybe if the story was about Cedric... hmmmm...

robnutmeg said...

@sakixry
Yes, I srsly srsly enjoy the fact that Edward wails on BELLA all for the sake of her safety. awww so cute, don't you think? come now, you didn't like that? you actually didn't think that brat didn't deserve it? UH HUH? ok well i never said that I would enjoy it - I wouldn't waste precious EDWARD time like getting spanked by him or anything ... uh no -- mmm -- absolutef***ly NOT!

vampie said...

@robnutmeg
thank you for the links1 reading now.. i'll let you know..

so what about.. girl is staying in penthouse of Beverly Wilshire hotel, pays for 2 gigalos. Spike and Edward.. ??

@sakixry
whats wrong with spanksessed (great word!) ? like Bella doesnt deserve it... LOL ok i'll stop before i freak you out.

the link i sent to @spank was called ' i solemly swear i'm up to no good' Harry gets spanked by Remus and Sirius .. (yea, i know i'm def freaking you out now!)

Mystify Me said...

Eeeeks.I'll read back in a minute.
Very busy day.
Windoward?? I 'shutter' to think!! lol
Hey look at this.My friend's daughter is touring with her dance troop in England, and can't stop thinking about Twilight.
She was at Edward's pub last night, and this is where she is staying. :)
http://www.hoseasons.co.uk/v3/Webpages/UKCottage/ProductDetailPage.aspx?ISDLNK=1&SCODE=A278&ACODE=E3651&TINDEXPD=0&bid=97&aid=CD660&Source=APIXMLFEED&opt=&AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

vampie said...

@mystify
when i went to Twilight convention in Northampton, there is an 'Edwards' pub in the city centre. we thought it was a great coincidence.

@robnutmeg yes..getting Bella to write over and over not to disobey. very good.

sakixry said...

@robnutmeg: i would certainly prefer him to spank me while he did some other things to me... *devilish grin* no, plain spanking is not good for me!

@vampie: i like the story of the 2 gigalos! hey, can I hire the Robward one please? Do you have his phone nr??
And yeah, you are kind of freaking me out... well not really cause with all the ff i'm reading its just not possible anymore.

@mystify: you got to be kidding me! Bellas cottage? well, is there a Edwards cottage where they maybe give you the phone nr of a certain gigalo who looks like robward??

Well I'm off to bed! Tomorrow ladies! Kisses to all of you and a hail to Window-, Stairwell- and Elevator-ward!

robnutmeg said...

@sakixry, vampie
nightie nightie sakixry! BUT,

YES let's hire the two gigolos! i'm up for it!

as for the spanking, mmm, i think that if it was edward spanking me? mmm. hey i might get naughty! i just love how bella thought through that whole process and how she thought his hand would never get tired b/c he's a vampire...mmmm....maybe she should have thought of that fact b/f she disobeyed, mmm??? On one hand, I'd HATE to be controlled by some stupid guy, you know? But this is NOT ONE STUPID GUY...this guy is EDWARD! maybe he'd feel sorry for me after he spanked me (pouty face) and give me a rubdown with his cold icy beautiful long fingered hands!

@vampie
OMG, a girl who loves spanksession! OH YES! my cup of tea! except i don't really like guys spanking guys! but since one of those FF was Carlisle - I thought you'd like it! *wink* except why doesn't Carlisle ever get spanked, dammit! I'll do it! Come over here, Carlisle you naughty boy!

@ocd
ur quiet, where are you?

vampie said...

@sakixry
goodnight! i'll 'try'and not freak you out LOL but considering you have probably read The Submissive and The Dominant, can anything shock you anymore?

OCD Sufferer said...

@nutmeg I had to act like I was married and sit with Mr. OCD for a while so he wouldn't wonder what the heck I do in my room 8 hrs a day on the freaking computer....there is only so much email I can claim to be reading ya know?? LOL!!!

vampie said...

@robnutmeg
omg yes..2 of us LOL

yes.. me/you spanking Peter....// sorry Carlisle..
Esme needs to spank Carlisle. or vice versa. neither of them get spanked.
Family values. Carlisle spanking Edward.. i like. coz i think Edward deserves a spanking as much as Bella.

so you'd like Edward to spank you?!
i mean, i've never thought about Peter/Carlisle spanking me..ever.. *innocent*

robnutmeg said...

@Vampie
I found another one...carlisle spanks edward b/c he's being a teenager....mahaahaahaaa! I love it..
Here it is....(a must read, wink)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4955975/1/Showing_Off

(I don't know if this one is ever going to be updated...I really wish it would be...)

Cheryl said...

Nice find, Meadow. Windoward can be my boss any day.

Spider Monkey said...

Yowzer! That was one NICE read!

:) Spider! *Shit eatin' grin!*

vampie said...

@robnutmeg
i like it! edward acting like a teenager LOL

OCD Sufferer said...

When I first started reading ff I wasn't comfortable with reading AH or OOC because I like "my" Edward as a vampire.....
so, is it crazy that now I don't wanna read ff if Ed is a vamp because...um....he has to hold back on the sex???? LOL!!! I started to read Vampire in the Basement and thought...."wait, do i wanna read this? If Ed is a vamp then the smut won't be as smutty cause he has to be careful...I like non-careful smut..."

vampie said...

@all
after all that fanfic reading (very good!)
am off to bed. goodnight!

robin(me) said...

@vampie
night night! make my reservations at the BW with spikeward! i'm ready!

@rnmeg
i love family values, too. esme gets to actually have more than two sentences AND she gets to spank Emmett! mmm. AND the E & J get spanked by Carlisle...and they call her a nightmare and vicious w/ a hairbrush! mahaahaahaaa!

@spider
what read were u talking about? the Office? or the comments? b/c The Office, YES. I agree ONE NICE READ!

@ocd
it isn't nice to freak @sakixry out! naughty girl! *evil grin*

Spank Ransom said...

Hi League!

I am shocked to see almost 80 messgaes on a Sunday. No day of rest for The League, right?

I have to say that I really enjoyed this bit of Fan-Fic. It was raunchy as hell...

Sadly, I work for a Prick, not a Prickward.

You guys continue to make me laugh constantly. I love the comments more than anything.

xoxo
Spank

Spank Ransom said...

@ Vampie -- Your name changes are giving me whiplash. I am going to start reading your FF. I am so excited that "one of our own" is a gifted writer who will help fuel my Cullen fantasies.

Mystify Me said...

Spanking? Um...never liked it as a wee'un but going ForWARD(hehe) I could handle it. :)Forward..foreplay with Edward..sweat...drool...collapse.

I took the quiz on fb, Which mythical character are you most like:I am a Unicorn.Not sure how I feel about that one.

OCD Sufferer said...

unicorns....oh my...there is a special place in my heart for unicorns....not sure how I feel about a person representing a unicorn though.....unless it is Edward

Ginger Swan said...

@Mystify Me, I was a Unicorn too on that Facebook quiz. I'm totally cool with it. I love Unicorns. (of all kinds!) *wink*

Mystify Me said...

@OCD I KNOW.I WAS HOPING TO BE A FAERIE...A TROLL...ANYTHING BUT...DUMB QUIZ.
Nite All. xo

Mystify Me said...

Well okay Ginger.If you are cool then I can be cool also.
Unicorns have a horn and...oh never mind.Going to watch Rob's How To Be Interview then bed*sigh*
Can't see it in Canada...grrr...unicorn snarl or whatever they do...

robin(me) said...

@mystify me, ocd
mmm. unicorns? they are also special to me too but not like showers, conference rooms, stairways, elevators (esp. elevating sex in elevators!)dressing rooms, janitor closets, operas, beaches, trees, towels and OH yeah computer chairs!!!!

FF has been such an inspiration to me this wknd!! and to Mr. Robin! He will not likely forget it either!

@Spank
Yeah what's with all this raunchy talk - smutsluts every one of them!
LOVEMS the LEAGUE!

OCD Sufferer said...

Oh.My.Edward...I am in love yet again! I found my newest favorite Edward!!!
I haven't decided what to call him yet....I'm sure it will come to me soon.


I Hate Myself For Loving You

I can't quit grinning!!!

robnutmeg said...

League,
smutsluts!

mahahahahaha