Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Real World: Vancougar









This is the true story of four super-cougars picked to rent a van, travel together and have their road trip taped to find out what happens when women ask Rob to bite and maybe even squeal... The Real World, Vancougar Style!




Now a cross country van trip, that's a movie in itself. The idea of a van trip to vancouver is just hysterical. But I think it should be an RV instead, with a kitchen and a microwave so we can entertain our boy once we capture him!




Okay, but who is going to be the resident b*tch? Do we have to fight and throw drinks at each other?








I win, hand's down.







Just please don't make me the one that gets kicked off the van... of course, it wouldn't be the first time, or the last.






I think you only get kicked off if you resort to physical violence. And while I don't consider you to be violent per se... you ARE Sicilian and all bets are off when Rob is involved.





I'll make Rob an offer he can't refuse.







Why does there have to be just ONE resident bitch? And more importantly, if we're going to Vancouver, why are we worried about titles like "Resident Bitch"? Shouldn't we be mulling over more important titles like "Resident Could-Out-Drink-Rob-And-Lure-Him-Back-To-Our-Van"? I'm going to go start honing my skills so I can be the Resident Most-Skilled-In-Rope-Tying-So-It-Only-Hurts-In-The-Good-Way.


Do you really think anyone can out-drink Rob?







Duh, hello? You all know I'm the lush of the League!







Ok Spider, I've got a plan. You out-drink him. Get him good and drunk. And then I'll take care of him and his impaired judgment while you sleep it off. *wink*





This just turned into Cougars Gone Wild... ;)









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48 comments:

Total Fanpires said...

Niceeeee
I dibs a spot on the van!
I could be resident If-Kristen-Stewart-tries-to-sneak-on-ill-kick-her-out-so-that-she-has-to-be-replaced-on-New-Moon!!
hmm ill go start practising!

Ninja Fanpire said...

While the fangirls are distracted by 4+ women walking away with a drunk Rob, meantime I'll be finding Jackson, round house kicking him in the head, and taking him back to my house. Who needs a van when you're a Ninja?

beesue said...

Good Morning Robcats Gone Wild!

Okay, you know that we are all going to want a spot on that Winne!

Since I am Jr Leaguer -Stephie Spartan (yeah...uh...keepin DL on that) anyway - I could be our "Resident PR person". I will buy tempera paint by the gallon, make signs (Vancouver or Bust!...Hide Rob the Cats are on the Prowl!) paint up our coolers, make Robcat t-shirts and I would make sure each of us has a sharpie and picture of Rob for our close encounters.

I can also TALK VERY LOUD - to get Robs attention.

Whatya think? Am I IN?

PS - I am the biggest LUSH in Texas - Rob wouldn't have a chance!

Mystify Me said...

Okay I don't see a driver. I vote me!! ;)
p.s. I can drink Rob under or on top of the table...or Old Smokey...or...

robin(me) said...

HEY Vancougars

Don't forget the LEGAL help that you will need to keep you out of trouble while you kidnap uh ask Rob if he wants to get away for awhile and have some hot sex uh I mean see the sights....don't forget to take the SCENIC route around the mountains.....OH wait, please don't drive around the mountains if you are drunk.

Robgirls are here for you!

We will leap tall bar tables in one single bound, we will sing GIMME GIMME GIMME a Rob after MIDNIGHT until he can't stand it anymore and just surrenders! AND I'll promise him IMMUNITY anytime he wants to visit the LEAGUEABAGO!

THE ROBGIRLS....make room for us in the van!

Ninja Fanpire said...

Why don't we just use the money from the Naked Rob World Tour Fund and buy a bus?

suthrngrl said...

Oh - I want to go please, please! I would just sit in the back and listen. I think you guys are AWESOME. While sitting back there I will develope an elaborate plan to lure Rob back to the Whinnie. I'm thinking a Whinnie is better than a van because of the kitchen availability.

You know I will be thinking about this all day!

faith_83 said...

Morning League!! Of course everybody wants a place in that van but I bet that we can have more fun just for the ride and to be together that actually chase Rob round Vancouver, but hey it can be fun!! If you find a place for me too I will be glad to help... (Doesn´t matter how “wrong” sounds ;)

vampirefreak101 said...

Ninji,

I'll be by your side, and i'll help 'entertain' Jackson back at your house :o)

If Rob gets 4 then Jackson should get 2 .why should Rob get all the fun! LOL

vampirefreak101 said...

i meant Ninja .. sorry for the typo LOL was too busy thinking about Jackson and what i would do to him..

Ginger Swan said...

Morning ladies! There is PLENTY of room on our League-ebago for you all. Hermione helped us put an extension charm on it, so it's much bigger on the inside. *wink*

@robin(me), we'd never go anywhere without our lawyer! You're gonna keep us out of trouble.

You're ALL coming with us. We'll have an awesome time!

@beesue, you can definitely be our PR person.

Sooooo.... who's going to be our designated driver?

letterstorob said...

hahahah you called it Vancougar! Brilliant ladies!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha i wouldn't mind such a van trip lol ... About the out drink Rob i defo cn do it lol ....

LeLe said...

I hardly ever drink, so I'll drive if you need me to!

Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

I totally call dibs on a spot with ninja!

He's young, I'm sure there is enough to go around! just saying!

Spider Monkey said...

Yes, everyone, c'mon let's get on the party bus!!!

Like Ginger said - everyone is welcome!

Leslie L. said...

Since we have a microwave, why don't we lure Rob into the RV with Hot Pockets? Bring lots of meaty ones b/c those vegetarian ones just won't work. Hahaha, did I just say "Rob", "hot", and "meaty" in the same paragraph?

@Ginger @Spider
So when do we leave??

Ginger Swan said...

@Leslie, you're brilliant! Of COURSE we need to bring Hot Pockets (pepperoni/sausage) with us. You're in charge of bringing them!

deconstructing jen said...

Excellent! I want dibs. I have a friend we can crash with in Vancouver, I mean, cougar. She's ALWAYS game for a Rob party.

I'll bring the imported British beer and a couple extra packs of Camels.

deconstructing jen said...

I forgot to add... Mr. Ginger is really spectacular with the graphics. They always give me a good chuckle. I hope he's getting 'paid' well. ;)

Leslie L. said...

Sound like it's a potluck everyone! Who else is bringing something?

Spider Monkey said...

@Leslie L.... and everyone else!

This is a last minute trip. Filming is wrapping up soon in Vancouver so the league and all of you need to change our trip departure for tonight. We leave at midnight. See you on board! Let's get this cougar trip moving!

Mystify Me said...

I just accidentally micro~waved my carrots that were hiding under my chicken wings.I thought of Rob.
Most things these days make me think of Rob, even the word 'thing' makes me think of Rob~LMAO
I WANT ONE OF THOSE Batman & Robin motorcycle sidecars to be pulled behind the CougarCadillac.
Should be big enough for me and the beer!!
"Born to be Wild"...Git yer motor runnin'...head out on the highway...lookin' for adventure...and whatever comes our way!!!! hehe

Spider Monkey said...

@mystify me... perfect! Love the sidecar!

Mystify Me said...

Midnight Sun...*sigh*...think of me *sniff*
I have a friend in the RCMP if you get into "trouble".

beesue said...

@Spider - on my way! I packed last night.

Kittie said...

oh i could bring alcohols all along...Doesnt need anything hehe

Spider Monkey said...

@Kittie... if you wouldn't mind hooking a spider sista up, I'd like a bottle of Ketel One vodka, and a case of very big, bold, expensive red wine. Make that two bottles of vodka.

VickyBonnett said...

LOL! this sounds more like the Rob of Love Bus! I want in! I'll bring the Hieney...oh yeah, and I'll grab some beer too ;)

sakixry said...

While you bring all the other stuff... I'll bring the Trojans and the handcuffs... and don't y'all get red on me! Enough with the hussy fussy! I know you want me too!

I hope I still have a spot on your Cougar-wagon or how you call it! Even if I'm a little late...

Ginger Swan said...

@sakixry, *shocked*!!! What kind of ladies do you think we are? Oh right. Nevermind. Hop a flight and we'll pick you up at the airport on our way.

robnutmeg said...

Wow, to everyone....

Did you leave already. Geez Robin(me) is a Slave driver. Got now I need a screwdriver...and maybe a drink as well.

Thank you, kind Ginger for inviting oh wait you invited Robin...awww? Hey don't you want me too? *sad eyes*

Well I love the HP's idea and I'll bring the beer and yes we better hurry b/c I'm thinking that they'll be leaving Vancouver soon.

@sakixry
*gasp* You.naughty.naughty girl! I have a stash no need to bring them with you on the plane.

Vancougar...LOVE IT!

Is there anyone still on to talk to?

Ginger Swan said...

@robnutmeg, of course you can come! I said EVERYONE can come. We'll pick you guys up on the way!

Mystify Me said...

Help!!! Joe Jonas is winning 60/40
OK TWILIGHTERS AND ROB FANS....ROB IS IN THE FINALS HERE...LETS GET A WIN FOR HIM

http://www.4tnz.com/content/hottie-tourney-finals-rob-vs-nick

Mystify Me said...

DID EVERYONE LEAVE FOR
VAN~COUGAR??? :(

robnutmeg said...

@mystify me
I'm on the team....woa woa woa woa!

@ginger
sorry I guess i didn't read that you invited everyone...*sheepish grin* i'm already packed. have beer for rob on our way back....Hey where are we taking Rob - or does it even matter? *eyebrow wiggles* Maybe - if we have room - we can pick up Dr. Cullen for well Isabella. She's on bed rest for awhile and kinda needs a PICK ME UP! I know she prefers Rob but he'll be too busy with all of us...just saying.

Whatcha think?

We must also have lots of wine, vodka (@kittie, unless u have enough? we might get "parched" on the way!) and JD (for OH, which reminds me, where are you OH?)

Mystify Me said...

Whilst you're slogging thru the West, I will be thinking of you back here in Ontari-ari-ar-ohhhhhhhhhh!!!
I've been ROBbed, because of geography. Crap, poop, and general
bat*shit.
Nite nadies.Up at 4 , my time. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh God!
Are you guys insane? You'll need a BUS or perhaps a CARGO ship for everyone. Must I do everything for you? *cussing*

Anywho - I was busy talking to CW and he's agreed to let me be one of the Volturi b/c he said I had real potential and I look evil w/o makeup. YEAH. My dream has come true.

@Spider
I suggest you hurry up - I saw other Gianas there and you still are better than they are. MOVE IT SISTER!

@mystify me
WTF are you talking about? Who the hell is Joe Jonas and why do I want to know? Oh that guy? WTH? Are they insane to compare those two? GEEZ! Ok I'll vote but not b/c I like you. B/c I lust for Rob! *no I actually do like u - u crack me up! - and I'm feeling very generous today!*


The Lurker extraordanaire!

Spider Monkey said...

Hurry up gang, the RV is getting ready to leave. I'm on now with my laptop, headed out at midnight. After this trip we're planning a trip to Italy, yes, you heard me.

Giana will be there where she belongs! ;)

Anonymous said...

@well well hello spider.

You did say everyone and I just happen to be EVERYONE - with me, do you need anyone else? No glares please. AND I'm glad ur listening to the all knowing and wise LURKER, Spider! Get to Italy. We can take Rob there! Maybe.

Ok, the rest should be able to go - after all who will I harass and bully on the boring drive up to Vancouver?

Two Q's: who is driving? and will rob be driving back, b/c you know I'd really would like to see the funny brit guy drive a huge bus on the wrong side of the road....what a hoot. Then after that we will proceed to help Rob get comfortable...I'll bring my leathers...and have some fun. YIPPIE SKYAAA!

Mystify Me said...

@Anonymous Phew.Glad you're feeling generous...*crawls under a mossy rock in Forks* Lmao hehe xo
I really don't know who Joe Jonas is either.I think that I saw him in a Sears catalogue once.
He could be Chucky Cheese's nephew.
Not really sure...

Mystify Me said...

Runs to get a passport and a glass of Montepulciano red before dodoze.zzzzzzzzz mmm...Rob....
Belle...not Bella..Belle...not Bella...

Anonymous said...

@mystify me
Are you feeling ok? B/c you type like crap! *smiling generously* Joe Jonas, chucky cheese nephew....mahaahaa. good one!

If you guys do go to Italy - make sure that you come and visit me b/c I'll be starting my life as a Volturi very shortly and I'll probably want to eat I mean meet you! AND I'll be keeping Rob just to get browning points with the boss. AND maybe do a little mind reading....

Anonymous said...

OH dear
I forgot to sign my name
that last post was MEEEE
The Lurker
*meow!*

Mystify Me said...

Never learned to type, actually.
I thought I was doing well. *sigh*
Good night! Don't or rather DO let the vampires bite. ;)

Mystify Me said...

Another time ladies. xo

Spider Monkey said...

The RV is on the road, sorry for all those who missed the departure.

We'll continue our blog while on our trip....

The League is all onboard and we're off! More to come...

sakixry said...

@Ginger: yeah, yeah... you all are poor little kittens who just want Rob's affection and attention... nothing more...
@robnutmeg: ok then dearest roomie! i'll just bring a spare handcuff. maybe we need some more!
@mystify me: whaaaattt?? i just voted and now its Rob 37% and Nick 63%! I think the whole teenage world voted... baaaah...
@League: Could some of you Ladies please go sit further back and please let me sit in the front? I am getting car sick... you don't wan't me to puke or something... It will smell bad when Rob get's on.