Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Junior League: Bella's Hairy Mom?

This week's Junior League Member is: Jinger

HumanSuperpower- Being a prickler about the prickly.

Okay, League! I have a topic for you. As I eagerly tore through the shiny film off my new Twilight DVD with sweaty hands and shoved it into the player I was completely ECSTATIC. To be able to pause and rewind Rob say “naughty” and of course “saucy" ::sigh:: Anyways, in the opening scene where Bella is at her home in Arizona and is saying the last goodbyes to her “hairbrained” mother and Phil, I came upon a“hair raising” development. Hold up! PAUSE IT! When cowboy hat clad madre lifts up her elbow into the air, check it out. Major armpit hair alert! I mean, c’mon. I know the budget wasn’t the biggest but I’m sure they would’ve provided a pink BIC to tame that lion’s mane under her arm. Thanks girls. Keep up the good work!

Ok Jinger, (GREAT name, by the way!) I have to admit... when I first saw your Junior League submission, I thought you were crazy. Because I've seen the Twilight movie a few times by now and I've NEVER noticed that. So I went to the movie and HOT DAMN, you're right! (I just sounded a little rednecky there for a minute... sorry ladies) Uh, what's that about? I get that Bella's mom is a little on the hippie side, but was that really necessary to show us the underarm pubes?

Oh my God I'm having a Paula Cole flashback. Someone save me from 1997.

Sarah, the role called for you to be hairbrained, not hairy.

I didn't want to be reminded about that, but I did also notice it in the movie. Just another reason that Renee does NOT need a comeback in New Moon!

Hopefully Renee is still trying to figure out how to text message long enough that she doesn't make any more appearances in the series!

No wonder Bella didn't mind moving to Forks that much. It's too cold for tank tops.


Meadow, you crack me up. How true though... She'd rather live with cold wet things than warm smelly things, like her mom!

Ewww... I hadn't even considered the smell... *gagging* No wonder she was always attracted to Edward's "scent". It's called "showered."

I don't think Bella is too concerned with hairy, smelly things given her propensity for hanging out with dogs.

Well, that brings up an interesting question and point. Did the Cullens shower? Which makes it an even more brilliant casting call to cast RP as Edward because rumor has it that he is not fond of showering/hair washing. So... back to my question; do the Cullens shower?

I think I've read parts that talk about showering. But then again, it was probably in a smutty fanfic and not in Twilight. But it just makes me go to that place in my mind where I keep Darkward (Wetward, Bedward, Robward, whoever) locked up.

You're a freak Meadow, and I love it!



vampirefreak101 said...

woohoo! first to comment!

hmm i was thinking this the other day. do they shower? do they sweat? do they need to wash their clothes? shower, wash, naked Peter (or Rob or Jackson or..)...urm sorry what was i saying?!

another thing. if they don't, then wtf does Esme do? Carlisle is at work, others go to school. No need for Esme to exist. then Carlisle can fall in love with me :o) or just make mad passionate love to me in the shower.. *dreaming* wake me up later.. is it me or did i just get hot and steamy in here?

~Jamie said...

how did i miss that eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

sakixry said...

You know, i have never noticed this because i NEVER pay much attention to this scene... I really dont! thank God for that! I also wish/hope that Renee doesn't show up in NM! She doesn't have to! I don't need her!

In many many ff Edward showers! Alone, with Bella... with me... hmmmm... well... I don't remember him showering in the Twilight saga though.. maybe SM likes them all dirty and stinky!

faith_83 said...

Morning girls!! Didn´t miss that part, but yet, I saw the movie so many times…
I do think CH “missed” many parts of the movie (she should call us to help her) she was centered too much in the color of Rob lipstick. Why didn´t she said she needed help?? I´m always glad to help!!! Btw speaking of Rob I´m almost sure that is something going on between him and KStew, the way they look at each other is obvious!!

Girl, you are crazy!! I think that I´ve already said that but I just love the way you think!!!

Good question, I don´t remember SM saying something about that but I guess they do shower because they like to behave like humans, to look normal, which includes showering…I don’t know if that makes any sense…at least I like to believe this “version” ;) OK I would like to see how a vampire takes a shower; it has to be very interesting (they should include a shower scene in NM with Edward, don´t get me wrong is not because I want to see him naked is just that we need to study how a vampire reacts when he has one… is for the science!!)

vampirefreak101 said...

i think it says in the book that the bathroom in the Cullen house is just for show, never been used, like the kitchen. i guess vamps don't sweat. they don't cry or anything. BUT that doesn't stop me thinking about them having a shower!! :op

and the scene in Twilight when Edward gets rained on.. (was CH trying for Mr Darcy in wet shirt in Pride & Prejudice?)

sakixry said...

I totally agree with @faith_83! They should absolutely include an Edward shower scene in NM for studying Robwards expressions and reactions to the water! I bet he likes it STEAMY and HOT! Since he is so cold I mean...

Now seriously... even if you are a vampire and you don't sweat, you need a shower now and then... living in the same environment people live and breathe, all the filth and dirt around. You just get dirty sometime. And your hair too... Ok, they don't get longer (the hair I mean) but they get dirtier.

vampirefreak101 said...

good point, hadn't thought of that! all those dirty humans LOL

so Edward does shower..running his fingers through his the hot water runs down his naked body..steam rising from his cold marble skin..and.. i am soo writing a fanfiction of this shower scene !

sakixry said...

@vampirefreak: please DOOOOOO! I can't wait reading it!

vampirefreak101 said...

yep i'll write it. not today but this week some time. am working too much, not enough time to write.damn it!

i'll post link on here when its done. it will let me post links right? it won't disable them?

sakixry said...

@vampirefreak: no no! no problem with links here as far as i know! Do you write fanfics in general????????

vampirefreak101 said...



i have lots more written just not uploaded yet! lots more with LEMONS :op

i have so many ideas, not enough time to upload/ write them all !

sakixry said...

@vampirefreak: *squeals with delight* I'm soooo happy! I will read your stories ASAP! And will wait for the Edward showerrrrrrrrrr!!

robin(me) said...

Good Morning Ladies...
Just to say that I'm devoted to you b/c it's 4:30 in the bloody morning and I'm mulling over case crap and here I am w/ you....

I love it.

I feel so all alone these days with nothing but me, Trainwreck and the wacky client case oh but I always have robnutmeg to keep me sane....mahaahaa.

First, after 50X seeing this movie I.missed.that? OMG. Good point. Icky. but good. OH ugh does that mean I have to shave now? it's only been a week....geez...

"I think I've read parts that talk about showering. But then again, it was probably in a smutty fanfic and not in Twilight. But it just makes me go to that place in my mind where I keep Darkward (Wetward, Bedward, Robward, whoever) locked up."

Oh dear Meadow, ur the best. HEY, Maybe Edward didn't shower in the movie but take it from me, He definitely showers in my dreams! And that's all that matters in my opinion....

@sakixry, vampirefreak
I agree with you and a cold edward always needs a nice steamy shower since he always says that temperature doesn't bother him....mmmm let's help him with that shall we?

I know that there is something going on with rob and kstewpid but I'd rather not think about it. at least i don't react to the possibility like robnutmeg - who resorts to fetal position under desk with thumb in her mouth.


robnutmeg said...

Good very early in the pacific northwest Morning to you!

u said it best - ewwwww.

I confess I couldn't care less about Arizona - I just watch Edward kill Bambi's momma and then skip over AZ, mom and cactus...I wonder what ever happened to that cactus? How could you kill a cactus? ...except I like the song in the beginning of the movie. Now I know why I've skipped it. again: ewwwwww.

Bella is a freak and probably more afraid of her mom's armpits than of Edward's delicious sharp teeth.

@vampire, sakixry
hot and steam, YES please.
fanfic of edward showering NAKED and EAGER..., YES please.

This is a week of hell. I've tried everything but being away from twilightheaded is worse than running out of vodka! it totally sucks and i agree - we are very lonely robgirls.

sakixry said...

@Robgirls: we are lonely without you too... *wipes off tear* Can't wait for you to finish that damn case already!
So @vampirefreak, please... fanfic about Robward, naked, eager (thank you robnutmeg), showering with HOT water, steam all around him and just a woman (don't write down a name or what she looks like in there...) with him in there! This will be the BEST FANFIC EVER!

vampirefreak101 said...

i had already decided that he would be 'eager' LOL

so should i write it from the womans point of view? or third person (you know what i mean by this! but i'm sure you'll make it smutty..)

i may not be able to upload it til fri or sat :o(
am working til 10pm tonight so won't write it til thurs evening.
please 'try' and be patient :o)

Ninja Fanpire said...

Holy gees there are a lot of comments already! Anyways.

@Spider Excellent question! I wondered the same thing! I mean, in the book it speaks of Bella showering......and that' it. I guess Bella is the only one in all of Forks who showers.

Ninja Fanpire said...

Reading back on robnutmeg's post.

Bella: "I'm not scared of you. I've had to live with my mother's smelly armpit hair for the past 17 years! I think I can handle a Vampire."

sakixry said...

@vampirefreak: aah! don't worry! we will be patient! as long as you upload it ;o)
hmmm... my opinion is from a third person view! what do you say girls? heeyyyy! we have our own private fanfic writer here! I'm soooo happy!

@ninja: LOL at your last comment!!!! I'm not scared of you!!! Bahhhhahahahaha!!!!

vampirefreak101 said...

@sakixry i will upload it, you guys would all kill me if i didn't, i think thats enough motivation LOL
i will write whatever you want me to write :op

@ninja LMAO brilliant!

robnutmeg said...

@sakixry, vampirefreak
PLEASE let me know as soon as that is ready..I want my own personal autographed copy....ur the star! and thanks for the tears....*bawl*

we need to be a team, how about kicking some client butt? I'm not scared of you...your sharp teeth get me hot, edward. stupid mom i guess i can understand now why she's so cell phone illiterate...doesn't know how to shave! *mmmm*

sakixry said...

@vampirefreak: just read "memories of another life" and I really liked it! Especially the part where he remembers the piano his parent's gave him and in the end, the connection with Jasper and his parents. It was lovely!

LeLe said...

All I can say is GROSS! I mean, were they trying to make Renee look like a hippie? Because that's not how she came across to me in the books. Just a little air-headed, although I think Bella did say that she was smart. She was a teacher, after all. Just a little lacking in the common sense. Weird.

vampirefreak101 said...

@sakixry thank you! glad you liked it. umm can you review it. you don't have to be a member of the website. that would be great :o) just write exactly what you've just written.

@robnutmeg i will let you know as soon as its uploaded ! i will post the link on here.

i wish i wasn't at work right now, i wanna write it now!

Mystify Me said...

Just walk away Renee is all I can say...*blek*

"Edward sweetie, so do you prefer the loofah
on a stick, or one of those exfoliating mittens?"

Let's get the party started!

TLC said...

um, ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.....

it's almost as scary as the 'full face close up' in the hospital room. almost. but not quite.

Anime said...

mornin ladies! haven't been back in a while, but can't let something like this go by unnoticed... that is seriously gross...

@meadow i totally thought Paula Cole when i saw it... that music vid scarred me all throughout the latter part of the 90's... ugh... razorblades, nair, wax anyone?
btw, any new smutty fanfics to recommend? extra lemony please? ;)

and i, for one, am greatly disturbed that there was not one shower scene in the movie... can i get a second on that? i guess those smutty thoughts will just have to stay in my head for the time being... do you think chris weitz is taking suggestions??? LOL

sakixry said...

@vampirefreak: already done that ;o) and I am a member *grin*
I reviewed both stories!
I also want you to write it now but I will be patient... it's a vampire virtue!

@TLC: aaahhh! what you reminded me off... oh my god! full face close up! WTH was that? and why??? why did we had to see that close up???

sakixry said...

This is dedicated to Renee! With all my love!

And no! This is NOT ME in the video!

Ginger Swan said...

@sakixry, that's hilarious! My high school BFF was Brazilian and she waxed my armpits once. HOLY SMOKES it was painful! I've stuck to the razor ever since.

Spank Ransom said...

@ Anime - I second that! In fact, I would not mind like a gym locker room communal shower deal. Every (male) Cullen under their own shower head -- wide angle shot -- b/c there's a lot to, um, capture.

sakixry said...

@Ginger: yeah, it hurts under the armpits and it's also kind of dangerous... the razor is better over there!
@Spank: first the wide angle shot and then a 5 minute full body close up on Edward please...

Hey, "the List" is updated!!! :) Just got an e-mail!

Ginger Swan said...

@sakixry, my underarms were bleeding afterwards!

Lets talk about more lovely topics... like showering with Edward. Mmmmmm.

sakixry said...

@Ginger: OMG! The hair must have been too long I guess... but if this really was the first time it is normal... (yes...I'm doing this as a by the side profession...).
Vampirefreak promised she will write us a fanfic about Edward showering with a woman! The specific woman wont have a name or specific features so everyone of us can think of her as herself! :) isn't that brilliant?

Ginger Swan said...

@sakixry I'm not very hairy, but it really was the first time (and last time) I was waxed so maybe that's why? Plus we redheads have sensitive skin.

beesue said...

League Ladies - sup?

I am utterly disgusted! Woman/hair - bad, bad, bad!

Maybe Renee is CH's relative - a cousin maybe. CH is kinda Hippie and went to UT Austin and when I went there - lots of armpit hair.
Wonder is thats CH's hat - she gave Victoria her pants (hope she washed them!)

Yes, I believe the Cullen's shower - Rosalie would have to wash her hair and they do have bodily fluids - Edward got Bella preggie!@sakixry - must have a shower scene in NM. With lots of coconut bubbles (like ILLA).

@vampfreak - now we have a "Resident FF author". Our list is growing.

@robnutmeg - Killing Bambi's mother. LMFAO! Why don't they kill annoying animals - like skunks-then Edward would HAVE to take a shower - with ME - ROLF!!

@robin(Me) I thought the League WAS yur job?????

sakixry said...

@ginger: yes, we redheads do! :)))

@beesue: aah, yes! and coconut's! don't forget the coconut's! *grin*

Spider Monkey said...

Another great point about them showering. Think of all that "running" they do through the woods. Tell me they don't get leaves in their hair. And never spill a drop of blood. And I certainly can't stand the thought of kissing Edward if he's got animal hair caught between his teeth. They gotta brush their teeth. I'm glad SM never got specific about the hunts. It would have put a slant on EC for me. Ick.

kt said...

haha i was gonna say "yeah they totally talked about showering at least once!" and then i was thinking that i might be thinking of Wide Awake shower scenes... oops.

but i kind of remember something from breaking dawn (tho i havent read it recently) and isle esme where they take a shower... or maybe just bella took a shower? someone get a book out. this is important information.

robin(me) said...

Good afternoon, all

I need a cold shower uh yeah for real. UGH. These days are killing me...

let's see how many posts can I keep track of:

@Sakixry, Ginger
you are totally cracking me up (like usual) today! geeez girls. wax? Ok the sad thing about that is I got a FULL body thing for a (u'll love this one...) Grecian spa from Mr. Robin as a gift a long time ago...and yes a part of it was a body wax.. OMG.. If it weren't for the fact that it was when I was like in my 20's and supposed to be a gift I would have thought he was trying to KILL ME. Literally. the worst pain in my life. I threatened to stay HAIRY for life...*grin*

But even if I did, I wouldn't be as hairy as that Renee. *shudder*

The League is my side job...but you guys would probably cause me more trouble...*snicker snicker* I still love ya, tho! Who else can I get into trouble with?

YEAH, what about that scene with Bella and she's ripped her nice dress and is all bloody and messy - shower? how about a change of clothes?

@anime and everyone
shower shower shower shower - no bella no bella no bella!

I hope that there's still someone out there.....or somewhere out there beneathe the pale moon light....Robward's thinking of me and screwing uh I mean LOVING me tonight.....

Please talk to me. I'm all alone.

Anime said...

@spank omg that's such a good idea!!! communal shower w/all the cullen boys! yum! can we bring vid cams? and i totally vote for wide angle shots! was there really any other option???

@robin(me) yes i concur... bella would kill any shower scene... in fact, she's like the fleck of dirt that ur trying to get off the lens so you can get the full advantages of the wide angle cam... LOL

Katie said...

Haven't had a chance to read over all the comments yet, so sorry if this is redundant. I remembered reading the answer to the shower question somewhere. This is from the Twilight Lexicon's personal correspondence with S. Meyer:

Q: This is going to sound insanely curious but… do the vampires bathe? Given that you said the hunting is messy (no clean puncture wounds), I’m assuming that they get dirty… or at least bloody. So do they take showers? Do they comb their hair? Brush their teeth?

A: Vampires do shower, but they don’t get dirty the same way we do. Outside dirt, yes–blood and mud and whatnot (though most vampires don’t get a spot on themselves when they eat–its all a matter of practice), but not sweat or body oils. They would never have B.O., ha ha. One girl asked me why Alice had a bathroom and if vampires have to pee. No, they don’t (they use all the blood, creating no waste), but they do shower. (And of course they have to have bathrooms–houses are just built that way, and when they want to move, it would look a little weird on the real estate listing: eight bedrooms, no baths.)

They do wash the dust and rain out of their hair, too. And Rosalie particularly spends a lot of time doing hers. (Hair is dead cells–the vampire transformation doesn’t affect it. If you’ve got split ends, sorry! Not getting better. Ha ha).

Let the shower fantasies live on!

Meadow Cliffdiver said...

Hey gals, I've been busy today so I couldn't comment until now. Apparently it was worth the wait since @Katie is a goddess who proved to us that our shower fantasies are not misplaced. Thank you for the research! ;)
@everyone who also has their own personal mental Wetward - Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in my freakdom.
@vampirefreak101 I want an autographed copy too. Now we just need a league illustrator to, um, bring your vision to life.
@all of our commenters: I was anxiously checking my mail from my phone ALL DAY while I was out. I was laughing hysterically in a doctor's office waiting room over several of them. So thanks for making me look mentally unbalanced. It's soooooo worth it.

robnutmeg said...

Well, I'm back from slavedon or courtdon or jaildon - whatever don it is I'd rather it be edwardon! I miss you guys like crazy! It's making me insane...Kinda like fanfiction and then it goes fade to black....serious issues...

As soon as this is over...hopefully soon. I'll be back to work blogging with you while "researching" for laws and stuff on the web. (yeah robin, you do it too!) pffff.

vampires do take showers, how else can they be in our dreams...ok well hopefully one day will be in my dreams. pfff.

So here is the moral of the story...correct me if I'm wrong..
Bella left her stinky hair armpitted mom and met gorgeous teethy edward. she'd rather die than smell her mom. makes sense to me.

i hate when that happens ! That happened to me while waiting at the hospital with my "family" but the kooky guy was worse than me so well maybe i can't relate to you. sorry. i tried. but i'll support you anyways.

Mr. Ginger,
Wait, what do you mean Charlie, the chief of forks police, drinks beer? Wtf? I'm looking into this and making a report! tsk tsk
You are the man. I'm your biggest fan. Ok well not in a biblical sense or anything...b/c well there's Ginger and all. Even tho you do create some lovely pictures and you at least LIKE Twilight! geez. OK, nice kitty - ginger I didn't mean it. Just got carried away....
*backing away now, far away*

please don't hurt me....

Mystify Me said...

Hmmm..I feel dirty after reading.
Lol...not really. :)hehe
But up at 4 for a scrub a dub.
Rob sweetie??I think your body hair need to be stratigically alligned one by one. Let's count.
1..47...356...4867...okay we're good to go. Now roll over and...

sakixry said...

@Spider: Ewwwwww! Kissing Edward while having animal hair between his teeth? Oh come on *cringe* you blew my fantasy...

@robin(me): oh poor poor girl! what exactly did you had to wax???? aaaahh... Mr.Robin(me) is a BAD BOY! First he's making you relax with your Spa and then *cringe*...

@Katie: thank's so much for the clarification! It's good they shower! Fantasy still intact!

@Meadow: aaah, yes... Wetward... *sighs*

@Mr.Ginger: I sure hope he does recycle! And also I hope he doesn't drink while working...that police chief...

Erin said...

Totally missed that...and I just have one thing to say about that...


Ginger Swan said...

@robnutmeg, you didn't notice he was drinking beer in almost all of the scenes? His "Vitamin R". And thanks for the Mr. Ginger love. He deserves it for putting up with us! (I'll pass along your words of praise to him)

vampirefreak101 said...

am home, eaten dinner.. so now to write. :op

robnutmeg said...

Yeah I noticed. I live here, don't I? There used to be this stupid commercial that was a speeding beer can that had wheels and it would go rainnnneeeeeerrrrrr beeeerrrrrrrrrr. Hey, do you know how difficult it is to type that out? Well, anyways...
I was just being well never mind.

Ur being nice, right? or do I need to step back a few paces?

Ginger Swan said...

@robnutmeg, I'm always being nice. In fact, if you see me being NOT nice, there's something wrong with me.

robnutmeg said...


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