Friday, March 27, 2009

Twilight Mom




In the Twilight book, Edward explains Esme and Carlisle as his mom and dad who adopted him. He even goes so far as to say Esme has been his mother longer than his first mom, indicating a closer mother/son bond. Then, in the movie, when Edward introduces Bella to Esme, he says, "Bella, this is Esme, my mom... for all intents and purposes." HUH? Why didn't he just say, "Bella, this is my mother Esme."? Because when they are coming home from Port Angeles and drive by the police station (where Butt-Crack Santa's body was being examined), Edward says, "That is my father's car." So why does he refer to Carlisle as his "Father" but Esme is his "Mother, for all intents and purposes"? Why is movie-Esme getting the shaft?





Poor Esme. She was totally victimized by the so-so scriptwriting. Apparently the audience was supposed to be too slow to understand that Vampire Esme didn't give BIRTH to Vampire Edward. *rolling her eyes* I realize that they LOOK roughly the same age, but we're already accepting the fact that vampires live in a rainy town in the Pacific Northwest. I think we can make the mental leap to "Esme adopted Edward" without the not-so-subtle dig.






Wasn't it bad enough that she only had like 2 lines in the entire movie? She had to be insulted by her son "for all intents and purposes" after cooking an entire meal that she can't even eat? Kids!







I'll wash his mouth out with soap and then do in internal inspection to make sure it's clean. Better yet, I'd better scrub him from head to toe, that naughty disrespectful boy! How dare he ignore his Momma!








Spider, that's brilliant. Then he won't stink anymore and I'll be back on Team Edward.









Edward was very disrespectful to his mother Esme and I think it is incumbent on THIS mother to punish him for it. They don't call me Spank for nothing, you know...






Photobucket

50 comments:

Ninja Fanpire said...

So true, never noticed it until you girls pointed it out!

Seriously, what is up with that?!

The entire Twilight movie just has too much wrong with it.

And Esme doesn't even flinch when Edward says it!

If you didn't read the books before watching the movie and can't figure out that Vampires can't have babies, that's your problem buddy! Be confused.

Total Fanpires said...

BAM!



So true....hehe

Anonymous said...

When he calls Carlisle his father, he hasn't "come out" as a vampire. As far as he is concerned Bella thinks that he is human. When he introduces Bella to Esme, she knows that Esme couldn't possibly be his biological mother. He was actually being the sweethear that he is!

So now!

sakixry said...

I think that Anonymous has a point... yes Bella didn't know Edward was a Vampire at this time BUT a) she knew he was adopted and this was not his real father and b) be didn't even called him dad but Carlisle exactly in this scene so I think it is again the shitty script they wrote for the movie... So bad in comparison to the book. Thank God Rob is saving it *blinks with her eyes*

Johanna (Twilightish) said...

Anonymous, you have hit the nail on the head. By the time Edward introduced Esme in the movie, Bella already knew that they were a family of vampires; when he talked about Carlisle, she didn't even know Edward himself was a vampire.

Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

Yeah, I hadn't caught that either. I see both sides how Bella knew who he was when he said it. But I also think the script could have been better written.

Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

Oh forgot to say...
That pic made me laugh out loud! It popped up in my google reader & just about scared the crap out of me, lol

deconstructing jen said...

Haha. I noticed that too. Maybe he refers Carlisle as his 'father' because Carlisle changed him and he made that little comment about Esme because she's a 'step' mom. I dunno. But someone should inform him that it's not okay to be disrespectful of his mama, 'step' or not. A good spanking seems to be in order. ;)

Erin said...

Anonymous has a point...however, she did know he was 'adopted' and she had seen that Carlisle was no where near old enough to be his father.

Also, when they are pulling up to the station, right after he says 'that's my father's car...' when he gets out, he call's him "Carlisle" not dad or pops...I've never called my parents by their first names...

Esme did get a crap role...she wasn't even in the garage! Why?

HappyHourSue said...

OMG Mr. Ginger did it again- that's hilarious.

I can't imagine how confusing it would be seeing the movie WITHOUT knowing the book first. CH didn't do a very good job of explaining things.

On a related note, i was re-reading Twilight last night , and after Edward stops the van, Bella says in the book "Chief Swan was already there". WTF?

robin(me) said...

My my you guys are up and at 'em early today!
MMM.
This is one of my favorite subjects b/c being a mom/grandma - I'm big on the mompire types! Then she becomes a grampire...and still she gets shafted? I.don't.think.so!
@spank...Since this is your forte...and we seem to be in the mood for "punnishing" Edward..there is some MARVELOUS kinky (uh so I've heard...i haven't read it...really....) spankfiction out there where Esme wales on Edward!

oh.for.the.love.all.thats.holy said...

Yes, so glad ur talking about Esme. Naughty Edward! Actually quite "jerky" Edward. Deserves to be punnished.
@spider
Can I help you?
@meadow
i totally agree with you!
@robin(me)
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT WITH THE SPANKFICTION. I oughta know I've written quite a few of those (well in my head)!
Anyone else read those? Come on girls - fess up...we know you have!

Then there's the deleted scenes...geez Esme finally gets a line or two and WHAT? They take it out? Dirty dogs! (must have been the wolfpack!)

robnutmeg said...

@deconstructing jen
i totally agree with you, spank, robin(me) & forthelove...
A good spanking (*wink*) for Edward on behalf of jipped Esme does seem to be in order! (after a nice, warm bubble bath)

"for all intents and purposes.." that line does rattle my cage a bit now that you brought it up! quite disrespectful!
I never really liked BD for the reason that SM seemed to totally ignore Esme. She loved Bella, wouldn't she be worried about Bella giving birth, bleeding all over the place and YEAH dying!!! Come on!
OK rant rant rant rant.
Better now.
Gonna go read spankfiction, now.
After work, of course.
OH and
@sakixry
Let me know when you want to move in the spare room ..I don't think Rob will just have to move into my room! *snicker snicker*

robnutmeg said...

Here is the spankfiction with Esme and Edward...ENJOY!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4826273/1/Its_not_enough_to_be_forgiven

Just feeling a little saucy today.

Kay said...

You need a disclaimer or something at the top of your page! I scrolled down and spit coffee on my deks! That picture was HILARIOUS! I haven't seen anything that funny in a looong time. Loved the piggie pic from yesterday too. You ladies rock.

Kay said...
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Kay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OCD Sufferer said...

Hiya gals! Ok, I have to admit, I wasn't offended whatsoever with what Edward said to Esme. I took it in stride because of what Midnight Sun says so often about everything being props. Of course Esme is only his mom "for all intents and purposes" because for goodness sake HE was changed before SHE was....um....hello. LOL. I didn't feel it was disrespectful because he was letting Bella know that it is just a facade so they can play the "normal, happy fammily" for the outside world, lol.
However, yes, I agree that they ripped Esme off! I <3 her character! I loved the scene that they cut out and hate that they did it :( However, I think Alice and Jasper got ripped off, too. They don't even mention Jasper's powers in the movie! Jasper was also calming Bella in the hotel and they didn't do that. Alice was only briefly with Bella and Alice was supposed to be working towards becoming a great friend (they do hit on it in the kitchen scene where she says they are going to be great friends, but that is it) They should have at least had Alice there fixing her up for the prom instead of nonchalantly saying, "Alice lent me the dress." Anyway, I agree with Esme getting gypped, but I don't think that Edward was disrespectful...not Edward, he is too perfect, LOL!!!!!!

robnutmeg said...

@OCD Sufferer:
Hey deep down I don't think Edward was meaning to be disrespectful..just needed an excuse to bring up "spanking", right spank?
The book does give u a sense that the Cullens are a close family...I felt that they care about each other when reading it. Then the movie gives off the impression that they are just together to look normal. I felt the movie was too rushed! Hey it was common knowledge amongst the students at the HS that Dr. Cullen was "foster/adopted father slash matchmaker" (or something like that) Bella had a HEADS up at the Cullen's lifestyle...(or maybe somebody already said that?)
And I love the comment that Angela makes: "maybe he'll adopt me". She's another "forgotten" character that becomes quite close to Bella in the next books especially Eclipse. GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME SUMMITT!
Oh, I can't see the pic on this laptop, I have to wait until I go home tonight. I'm so bummed out!

OCD Sufferer said...

I agree about the too rushed comment. Lemme ask you guys this. Don't you think it was odd that the movie started in March??? That only gives them like 2 months MAX to fall in love before prom. The book started in January. Remember, he ignored her for over a month after the accident? Then, at the point in her bedroom and she asks, "Do you do that often?" and he says, "Just the past couple of months." How is that possible???? If she came in March, he left to Alaska, he saves her and then tries to convince her to let it go, she goes to La Push and starts to figure things out, she goes to Port Angeles and he saves her, then the next day she tells him she knows what he is. The next few scenes are supposed to look like they happened over a few days time (he is wet....yummmm in one, then dry as a bone in another). Ok, how does that add up to a couple of months? Even if it is supposed to be dragged out over a period of time...THERE ISN'T ENOUGH TIME considering that they go to Phoenix and she is in the hospital and everything else and ALL BEFORE PROM?!?!?! CH was pretty dumb to change the start from January to March.....if anyone is smart they will know the time frame doesn't make sense.
Sorry for ranting, but things like this drive me insane lol. I also wanted more touching! He touched her several times before he finally kissed her and then after he kissed her....oh my....there goes my heart! My absolute favorite part of the WHOLE book is where he "alters her memory" oh my goodness! He can alter my memory any daggone time he wants!!!! Wow, I got off subject here, lol

beesue said...

Good Morning League!
This line bothered me from the first time I saw the movie - along with so many other things!
@OCD Sufferer mentions many above.

Ya know, Edward is 108 years old! Hasn't he accepted Esme as his real MOM - yet! I luv Esme's character in the book and she does get the shaft! So happy she got the line "Clean this up, now!". It was priceless.

@robin - yes I must admit, I have read alot of fanfic - Midnight Desire, Wide Awake, Isle Esme and until 2AM this morning - Submissive (hangs head).

@Spank - always in for anything to do with Rob but since you are the "spankmeister" I would really like to just "watch" - I'am such a perv but likin it!

Meadow Cliffdiver said...

@robin(me) LMAO "grampire"? Priceless!
@HappyHourSue Okay, so Bella calling her parents "Renee" and "Charlie" instead of "Mom" and "Dad" actually bothered me through all of the books. I pretty much still call my mom, well, Mom.
@robnutmeg "Spankfiction" *frightened* *and a little turned on*
@everyone who comments here: Dude, you gals (and one guy so far on another post) make my day every day. Thanks for the smiles in return!!
Alice and Angela better not get gypped in New Moon, that's all I'm saying.

robin(me) said...

@beesue
I'm in total agreement. Let's watch Spank! - uh do her thing. I'm sure she is up to the challenge.
And fanfic: UH, I love confessions. So sweet to hear. Even I kinda cringe at Submissive, tho. But there's a new one out -
Family Values!
I wish I could take the credit for Wide Awake!
Of course the part of Bella is now being played by Robin whenever I read them.
THAT deleted scene with Esme and Carlisle - damn them for not putting it in the movie b/c it showed her "saucy" side. And I love saucy. "Clean this up, now!" attagirl, esme!

OCD Sufferer said...

Speaking of getting gypped, have you guys heard the latest about Edward in NM? They are planning to have flittering images of him while he is gone!!! I know it doesn't go along with the book, but I am sorry, the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th times I read the 2nd book, I skipped all of the Jacob part because there was no Edward!! LOL! I was afraid that if I watch NM I will end up (after it is on DVD of course) fast forwarding for like 3/4 of the movie....lol. I think it is only fair that they have images of him throughout because even though she speaks more of his voice that she hears, of course she HAS to picture him, I mean come on...I never actually touched the guy and *I* picture him all the time! ROFL!!!!!! Anyway, I am excited about this. I hope it is great! lol

Anonymous said...

@robin(me) Will check our Family Values. Also - when is angst Godness going to write the next chapter - anxiously waiting!!!

@OCD Sufferer - Even though I have heard my Rob say in various interviews that he doesn't feel he should be "put in" this film more -He will HAVE TO BE! Can't stand to watch the mongrel for two hours without some Rob/Edward eyecandy!

Ana Cristina said...

Tag, you're it!

http://thedangermagnet.blogspot.com/2009/03/i-won-bloggy-award.html

beesue said...

Above comment from beesue - I seem to get way to distracted when thinking about Rob!

robin(me) said...

@Meadow and THE LEAGUE
W/o you there wouldn't be us! Thank you for making our days! You are my inspiration! (oh wrong movie) sorry. And well I can't live a day without THE LEAGUE. I'm hopeless addicted. You're like a drug to me. God, I'm seriously deranged. I forgot to feed the husband (what's his name?) and the dog last night. I'm really in "hot" water. And not the cosy, candle-lit, romantic hot tub variety either. Major suckin (LOL - now that cracks me up) up tonight!
@OCD Sufferer:
I get this intense feeling that we are related in some how, like maybe twins? I did the same thing with reading NM. Uh when Eclipse came out, I had to actually drag out NM (right next to my bed) and reread it b/c I kept thinking "who the hell is Jacob?" What? There are wolves?
Oh to be a bedbug in Rob's bed...mmm. Delicious. Ok now I'm frightening myself.
*wink*

OCD Sufferer said...

@ Robin(me) You make me laugh so hard!! Bedbug...LOL!...most ppl are disgusted by them and you want to BE one lol!! Yes, I hate a lot about Jacob, but even with hating him, I cry every time when he gets his heart broken, because even if I don't love him, I can't stand for someone to get hurt, lol. However, Edward ALWAYS comes first, LOL!!!!
I am always in the bad kind of "hot" water in my house, lol. I would be in boiling water if my husband walked in right now....better run! LOL!

Anonymous said...

@robin(me)
i'm seriously worried about you. nah not really. just wanted to give u a bad time.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the LEAGUE!
Just read Family Values.
One complaint: wtf happened to Jazz - wanted to read about his uh "experience"! *snicker*
We know that Rob has confessed to reading these things. I think the League needs to consider adding a fanfiction site?!??!!
With your talent - pfff to Wide Awake. Bring it on ladies!

Anonymous said...

@robin(me)
bedbug? more like bedwardbug, robin. geez. u do know that in light of the recent smelly events - u may have bitten off more than u can chew...if.u.know.what.i.mean, my friend!
"now I'm afraid!" and unlike Bella, - "I am afraid of u!"

oh btw: Robin has taken the day off today. At least we know what she's doing. Where's Craig? (that's your husband's name, Robin!)

robnutmeg said...

ooh that last comment (ano) if from me
robnutmeg
distractions distractions!

Ginger Swan said...

Morning ladies! So glad you liked Mr. Ginger's picture for today. Don't worry, I rewarded him for his hard work. ;)

And re: the fanfiction... Meadow is our resident fan fiction reader. When you guys send it to us, we forward it to Meadow. We WILL be starting a new series soon called "Storytime with Meadow" that has Meadow reviewing fanfiction. Keep on the lookout for it!!!

You guys are the greatest. Especially those who agree with my opinions. :)

beesue said...

@OCD Sufferer - Know what you mean about Jacob - hate to see hearts broken. Let's face it - this is all Bella's fault for leading poor Jacob on.

League - This could be a good topic
"User Bella" and how she uses Jacob to 1) get information about the Cullens 2) Fill that hole when edward kicks her to the curb 3) Get her "jollies" so she can hear Edward's voice.
I really think that Bella is the "bad guy" -that piss ant!

Rant Over! Just thinkin about Rob!
and me - oh, oh Sorry! I can be indecent, too!

OCD Sufferer said...

@ Beesue: Yes! Bella did lead him on. I understand she loves him as a best friend, but she is always hugging him and stuff, which I know you can do with a best friend, but she knows he loves her, so she shouldn't TOUCH him! However, he does admit he still wants her around...*sigh, poor kid* and in the end I am so happy with how it turned out (which I predicted--Im so proud of myself, lol) but still EVERY TIME I READ it I cry!! And they aren't just small tears, I am talking crocodile, lol! Then I just think of Edward and all is great in the world! lol

robin(me) said...

@OCD & Beesue
I'm telling you, that Bella is just a pain.in.the.arse!
I do feel sorry for Jacob, after I reread NM. Well sorta. I just don't get it, tho. What's so bloody exciting about Bella anyways?
It's like she gets into all this trouble and gets away with it? Especially in Eclipse. The tent scene in the book...just rubs my rhubard the wrong way! It's wrong. She has just kissed face with Jacob - says bye bye - don't die - and then Edward just says it's ok, honey? WAKE UP werewolf guy and sexy vampire guy! This.girl.is.no.good.for.u! eegods. If only Mr. Robin(me) would be that generous!
This is just stemming from my intense hatred of kstewpid, I think? ok...and my eyes are a tad bit green!
AND I always agree with you GINGER! (wink)

OCD Sufferer said...

Oh you just HAD to mention the tent scene! That scene makes me wanna cry FOR EDWARD!! LOL. Poor guy has to listen to this man who loves his woman have fantasies while hugging her in a sleeping bag where he can't cause he will freeze her...geez! I did, however, love his comment on how that wouldn't have been his best night which made Jacob mad. Yes, I feel sorry for Jacob, but he was hitting hard-core below the belt, lol. I do think the kiss was the worst! He was so wrong for that! And yes, Edward was ridiculous for letting it go, but then again, he was able to "see" it all through Seth, so he knew how Jacob manipulated her and he admits that anyone who even remotely cared for someone would do the same thing to keep them from killing themselves. He just thinks of it as Jacob playing hardball harder than he did. lol. She has it way too good in my opinion lol.

beesue said...

@OCD and Robin - For sure - Edward or the mongrel - Edward or the mongr
el - she is an IDIOT! What was she Thinkin" She's got Jacob fixing up her motorcycle, running around in the woods looking for her "meadow" (I was really rooting for Laurent He He) and taking him to the movies - and she doesn't understand why he falls in luv with her? Then when Alice shows up-
she drops him like a hot potato! I can't believe Jacob just didn't give up at that point - I would have.
Spider has alawys said it right - she is a piss ant!

robin(me) said...

UH Laurent (with his sexy accent)...darn those wolves! Of course, at the time, I was still feeling rather sorry for Bella ... but after "the tent" in Eclipse - I had all these dark thoughts... where is laurent when u need him? and WAIT don't kill victoria ... let her have Bella...
Ok and then the cry.me.a.river (no please don't) scene when bella gets back from seeing "injured" jacob (after the fight in Eclipse) and literally "wahs" all night in front of Edward. OH PULEEZE. To which once again perfect Edward just takes it all with a smile and said: "If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?" WHAT?
GET.A.CLUE Edward!
Ok but the real clinker is the
"I love you. I want you. Now." and the dumb bunny doesn't take him? Geez, Robin would have jumped him before he said the word NOW! Right Meadow? Spider? Ginger? Anyone?

OCD Sufferer said...

Do we even really have to answer that question? I refuse to comment further because my children are nearby and if I comment it might get a little verbal...LOL!

oh.for.the.love.all.thats.holy said...

Uh Robin(me) are u perhaps "warming" up for the hubby tonight? Geez. I don't know about the rest of you but I need a cold shower and fast! pant pant
My response to you is:
*animal attack*
WINK!

oh.for.the.love.all.thats.holy said...

Can we get back to spanking Edward?

oh.for.the.love.all.thats.holy said...

or bathing Edward/Rob?

Spank Ransom said...

@ OCD - YES re: Jacob and Alice. I burst blood vessels in my head when I start talking about how agitated I am by how they didn't SHOW more in the hotel! I sense a rant/blog post coming soon!

@ RobNutMeg: I don't need an excuse to spank him. I don't even need a reason. I just need him. NOW!

@Robin(me): Two words: Hire me. PLEASE! and, please, don't forget to feed the dog. Unless he's a "shapeshifter." Then you can starve the mutt. ;)

xoxo you guys!

Spank Ransom said...

@ Robin(me) and OCD Sufferer: oh yeah the tent scene. Honestly .. I wanted to kick both that dog AND Bella when I read that part.

Okay, I'll stop now. There goes another blood vessel. I kinda need those (and good thing Jasper's not around... you know him and his control issues.)

robin(me) said...

@Spank
You're not actually going to believe this but my dog has about 1/8 wolf in him. But mostly lab. Definitely a "hungry" mutt. I've been noticing him whine everytime I read about Emily. (I think he has a crush..uh that's cute, don't you think?) If I were to kick him, it would hurt me more than it did him and not advised! PPL who meet him say 2 words and then run... "BIG DOG!" But let's kick Jacob & Bella! Like that idea!

Um, did I miss something? Hire you? It's more like YOU.HIRE.ME!

A Rant blog post? YES, PLEASE! Although I don't think you actually need one with this group!

robnutmeg said...

@Spank Ransom, ur not actually trying to get my job, r u? You wouldn't do that!
Yes, please spank Edward and then let me know so I can watch. I'll bring the beer and hot pockets.

@robin(me)
pssst....Craig is on his way home now. uh "league" Craig (aka Mr. Robin(me)) is also an attorney in the firm. Quick: hide PE, quit blogging, get the wine chilling and for heaven sakes turn off Twilight!

robnutmeg said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!! Lord.have.mercy!
@ Kay, u were definitely right about that picture that I couldn't SEE all day b/c I was at work and well working.. (yes, I was working!) SO now in the safety of my home: I finally got to see the picture! & it almost killed me!

robin(me) said...

Hey League! Fellow readers. and the One guy out there that reads this stuff.

I just read (after making up with Mr. Robin(me) for not making him dinner the other night) *slow smile* anyways...I just read that Rob hasn't been on the set of New Moon yet so how can someone be saying he's stinky?

Also Rob said that he's reading everything "negative" about him (and keeping a black book) I would simply kill to have my name in that black book!...so maybe we should start saying nasty things about Rob...kinda bait the hook and then reel him in...Just saying.
I think Rob likes it dirty.rough.and.hard! I need to say goodnite now and find Mr. Robin(me) FAST!
tah tah

sakixry said...

@robnutmeg: sorry for not replying so long to you but I had soooo many things to do... :((( once again it has nothing to do with rob or edward or something interesting but I have to tell you that rob could stay in the room where i will be staying for a few days ... i wont bother him (a lot) i can even sleep on the floor, next to his socks you know! or he can sleep on top of me if he wants.. ok, now I am totally out of topic... I dont know whats gotten into me...