Thursday, March 12, 2009

Haven't We Already Seen Paris' Moon?

I know we already used this picture recently, but Mr. Ginger refused to waste spend a moment of his photoshop skills on yet another Paris Hilton picture. And really, who can blame him?

Our special correspondent Valerie sent us this breaking news, which may or may not be a rumor. (Let's hope it's a rumor.) But just in case it isn't, The League decided to address it.

According to this article, Paris is desperate to get a role in New Moon and is not only repeatedly calling Robert Pattinson, but is having her agent working on it as well. Is there ANY role she could play?




Only if they add her as an extra character like they did with Buttcrack Santa and we get to see her be torn apart by the wolves. Yes, then I'd be ok with her being in New Moon.








Paris has an agent? I thought she had a pimp... Are they recasting Jessica Stanley because they wanted to find someone MORE irritating? Maybe she'll be playing Lauren and sporting a hideous haircut.








She could be Bree (or is that Eclipse)...










Bree is in Eclipse. Irina would be good too... for the scene of her getting punished by the Volturi, but that's Breaking Dawn.









I don't like the thought of her playing Irina. Mostly because she'd get too much "air time." We all know this is an elaborate plan of hers to infect date Rob Pattinson.








Ok, I know... She could be just about to unlock the door of her Porsche when Alice slams her to the ground to steal the car!!!! Oh, and backs over her too!








Or she could be on one of those ill-fated Italian bus tours.










She can be one of the bodies they talk about finding in the woods when Laurent is on the prowl.









Would we have to see her ACT or could it just be a shot of her already dead? Shouldn't anyone acting with her get some sort of hazard pay? Or a BioHazard suit?








I know Tanya's not in New Moon but maybe they should give that role to Paris so she can feel the burn of rejection from both Edward AND the actor who portrays him.








I think I liked it better, Spank, when you suggested that she be one of the bodies they find dead in the woods.







Photobucket

28 comments:

Ninja Fanpire said...

First

Ninja Fanpire said...

There is just no role that is good for Paris Hilton, Vanessa Hudgens, and most definitely Zack Efron *vomit*

Janet said...

I know how these folks can end up in the movie. They aren't actually there. Lauren can look at a gossip rag that has their faces on it. That is the only way that would even be remotely acceptable for them to be in the movie.

~Jamie said...

ugh! nonononononononono

I actually LOVE Paris... but she does NOT belong in NEW Moon.

Brenda Jean said...

Back off Paris...I know you are reading this and everything else Twilight related. No Rob for you...

IF she had to have a part it would have to be one of the tourists destined to die in Italy.

Ninja Fanpire said...

@Brenda Jean: She'd do it too. Just to get that much closer to Rob.

Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

@Ginger-loving your comments! Bio Hazard suit, lol.

Ginger, yes, torn apart by the wolves just might work.

I just don't get why she wants to be in it, except for the fact that she wants closer to Rob.

And didn't she say she wants to be one of the vampires. Um no! You're just not that cool!

Though I did love watching her in The Simple Life. lol

TLC said...

oh for the love of all that is holy!!!!! what the hell?

i just have to vent for a second here.

OK, I understand that when 'twilight' was being made they weren't aware how HUGE it was going to be. but now that it's this really BIG phenom....everyone and their brother feels the need to jump on the bandwagon. but really...this franchise is NOT, i repeat, NOT for Disney channel alums, drew barrymore, or for god's sake, Paris Hilton. Please, all you wanna be vampires (vanessa, zac, paris, drew) go away and leave this to the professionals. Ugh.

Erin said...

I agree with everyone...especially Ginger (Let the wolves tear her apart...hehe) :)

I must admit I watched her in The Simple Life a couple of times and she was funny, but she was just being herself...Sadly, there was nothing on one day and that movie she did came on. Let me just say, my dog is a better actress! It was horrible, she couldn't even scream without making me want to vomit. (Sorry, I just don't get what it is about Paris, I don't think she's pretty and she is hiring BFF's for goodness sakes!)

I think we should pitch in and hire a body guard for Rob simply to keep anything Paris related away from him.

No Disney people either!

Johanna said...

I agree with what has been said here, either a part being torn apart by the wolves, or already dead, or my favorite, in one of those ill-fated Italian bus tours. She could walk in clueless into the Volturi castle, see Edward, Bella and Alice walk by, and say "That's Hot" right before she is handed to the Volturi.

Ninja Fanpire said...

@Johanna "....see Edward, Bella and Alice walk by, and say "That's Hot" right before she is handed to the Volturi."


Ahahahahaha "That's hot."

Ana Cristina said...

I laughed my head off at this:

Only if they add her as an extra character like they did with Buttcrack Santa and we get to see her be torn apart by the wolves. Yes, then I'd be ok with her being in New Moon.

Paris + Violent Wolves = FTW

Valarie Lea said...

@Spank - "She can be one of the bodies they talk about finding in the woods when Laurent is on the prowl."

This would be the best part for her

sakixry said...

@Meadow: "Paris has an agent? I thought she had a pimp..."
I sooooo thought so tooo!!! LOL

@Spider - "She could be just about to unlock the door of her Lamborghini when Alice slams her to the ground to steal the car!!!! Oh, and backs over her too!"
That is also a very cool idea!!! I think I will agree with Spider!

Erin said...

Just a quick question...I know we had a 'bad KS' day and then a 'good KS' day...We aren't going to have a "good Paris" day are we?

I don't think I can do that :)

Jamaican Princess said...

Paris Hilton in New Moon!!??? HELL NO!!! she does not deserve to be in the good graces of Rob.

Paris Hilton+New Moon=Death to Paris Hilton

sakixry said...

We could have a petition and everybody who doesn't want Paris to come too close to Rob could sign it!!

Spank Ransom said...

@ Erin - you have my word. There will NEVER be a good Paris day at www.twilightheaded.com

Erin said...

@Spank Ransom THANK YOU!

Ginger Swan said...

Just echoing what Spank said... there will NEVER be a "good" Paris day at Twilight-Headed!

Janet said...

Thank goodness that there will be no Good Paris day. That would cause a paradox.

Shannon said...

Oh, hell to the no!

Huh-uh! No way, no how... there is NO part for her in any of these movies...

Not even one where she gets ripped apart by wolves.

Barbs said...

NO!NO!NO! This is so absurd!
Surely Summit Entertainment is not stupid enough to let this happen.
The reason the Twilight movie was a success is because the actors were near unknowns. If they add supernames to the cast - New Moon will lose its credibility and just be laughable. Adding Dakota Fanning was bad enough!

Lauren said...

I would die a most painful death if Paris even gets close to the New Moon set.

Lauren said...

^Lauren's Bite Lauren...I keep using the wrong login!

sasha liz said...

LOL to all the ideas around here =)

Yeah, I think it would get out of hand to have famous celebs dying in forks...lol....I don't think she fits unless they really get her disguised. Even then, its a no. I'd be in the theater like, "is that paris hilton?" and that is really not the thing i want to be thinking during new moon to be quite honest. ;)

Paris needs to move along and not get involved...srsly....

has anyone seen "House of Wax" with her? That scary movie?

sakixry said...

@sasha liz - Yeah, I loved the way she died and shut up at last...

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