Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Jr. League: Requiem for a Dream

This weeks Jr. League member is: Haleygolightly

I think at this point it is safe to say that our dear Sparklepants is off the market. Whether you believe in Robsten or if you're being completely stubborn and ignoring all the tell-tale signs (clothes-sharing, somewhat concealed dates, walk-of-shaming all over LA, exceptionally angry Nikki Reed, and Rob's unwillingness to date me) its hard to deny the feeling that comes with the loss of our single vamp.

Rob was our chance at Edward, since real Edward is A) fictional and B) so dedicated to Bella that he suggested she hook up with a dog if it made her happy. I have reached the point of acceptance that Rob is no longer accessible to me if he ever was before and I have to tell you, the grieving process is worse than anything hormones can do to a woman. First comes the stomach ache at the thought of them together, specifically in room 79 at Chateau Marmont, and the sting of jealousy. Then my mind instantly flashes to the car scene in Twilight when B and E are driving back to Charlie's and there's all the closeness in the car and I become elated that some form of this relationship exists in real life. Once I catch myself wondering if Rob and Kris have a child if it will be as freakish as Renesmee I feel overwhelmingly stupid for having gone through the whole process. Repeat. Repeat. Ugh. Here's to the happy couple, and to mental health. Drink up!

Are we still talking about Robsten? *rolls eyes* Come on, people! Shouldn't we be talking about character development, cinematic artistry and the meaning of life as it pertains to Twilight? Yeah, I didn't think so either .... "raises beer bottle to Haley"

6:10 P.M. After reading this Jr. League submission I thought it would be wise that I join the Robsten party and suck it up. I am pouring a martini (straight up - very dry) and chilling some wine. I'll respond after my "medication".

*hands you bottle of Stoli and some olives*

Spider, I don't know if it's the boose talking, but I'm shocked. We'll see once you sober up tomorrow whether you stay on Team Robsten or you switch back. *raises drink to Spider and Haleygolightly*

8:31 P.M. So, to the hppyie coople is confirmed? Okayyyyy... coool amundoo. Love it. i was justl putting up a front about the whole nonstin stuff. I do know that it was going on. Hello. Not a rocket sceinectologist, but hello. Hello, serrioulsy, it's been goig on all alone. Duh! Helloooo...

I hope theier in love forever and have a baby. It woudl be sooo freaking cute - right? Ok?

I've already got this taken care of. You see, I just found out that Kellan is single I'll be moving on to my second favorite vampire.

I call dibs on Jackson!

Dibs on Buttcrack Santa!



katarinas mama said...

Ginger, darlin', admit it you just want Buttcrack Santa's shmexy shirt?? It goes so well with your red hair, after all. :)

Meadow Cliffdiver said...

Okay, can I just say that I want to make that picture my desktop background? Because, really, it's the happiest Kristen will ever look. ;)

But, seriously, yeah. Mourning the loss of Rob is the real reason I retired. I didn't want to disgrace myself in public by sobbing every time one of the girls mentioned his name. It's 7 a.m. here. So I'll raise a mimosa to "healing." Should we start a support group blog?

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LeLe said...

Mr. Ginger does it, yet again. I love the look on Rob's face and the high-steppin'. I'm just wondering if this is all a publicity stunt b/c it just seems like they're TRYING to look like they're dating/hooking up/doing the laundry/whateveryouwannacallit. It's almost too obvious.

Anonymous said...

Spank Ransom said...

@Anonymous - VERY old quote. Rob's not giving interviews. This isn't new.

@AetherPrincess - I have to commend your consistency and as Chief Proofer for The League likewise appreciate your correction comment to properly spell the word "skank." I do, however, find it incredibly harsh to call someone who was in ONE long-term committed relationship and is never seen around Hollywood showing her privates a "whore." There are plenty of chicks to whom that term could be better and more appropriately applied.

@Meadow - Like we NEED an excuse to raise a glass of Mimosa before 9 a.m.? ;) I think we need a support group for THAT first. LOL

Anonymous said...

Today's People Daily has Rob quoted as being completely single. Maybe there is still hope for us ladies!

I will still drink mimosas with you Meadow

haleygolightly said...

See guys, this is exactly what I was talking about. The longer we live in denial the worse it's going to hurt. Nothing is 'official' but myself and a bunch of other non-blind Los Angelenos saw these two together. You know how when two people from work are doing it you can just tell? It's the same thing. Plus the fact that she looks at him with as much adoration as any of us would.

So listen, we can hold out hope that this is a publicity stunt blah blah, or we can just accept what we know deep down. I'm pouring a shot and going with the latter. Here's to their happines... barf.

beesue said...

Hello League!


My bubble has been burst so I am moving on!

Let's see.....hmmmm....Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing
(vampire killer....may be a little bitter).... Robert Downey, Ironman.... and Jon Bon Jovi because
he is just F@ck Hawt!!!!

I may also begin a new blog called " After Rob..."!!

@spider- we fought the good fight!! Cheers!!

Spank Ransom said...

@Anonymous - the Gossip Cop got an actual quote from RP's actual rep. who confirms that RP NEVER gave the quote that Nonsteners hang on to by a thread.

Diane said...

Love Mr. Ginger's work today...sooo funny.

And Spider, loved your drunk commentary.

Twilightish said...

Well, Spank, all Robsteners and I knew what was up and we knew this day would come once the blindfolds came off, but I never thought I'd actually hear Spider admit to it. I am in shock!

Kudos to you Spider for sucking it up! ;-)

Spider Monkey said...

I'll tell you what I've "sucked up" Vodka! That's what. I've been drunk 24/7 since this post - seriously! Ask my girlss' - they will tell ya!

Spank Ransom said...

@twilightish - I think you meant to say sucking ot "down" - I think she might still be drinking her pain away. ;)

Spank Ransom said...

@twilightish - I think you meant to say sucking ot "down" - I think she might still be drinking her pain away. ;)

Rachel said...

I'm still Team Nonsten all the way.....enough said!

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Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

Hmmmm, I will stay in denial until I see the kiss or hand holding in public. or until they state it. I know I know, they probably are ahem... doing the deed, I would if I was her.
I guess I wouldn't mind them together, I just don't want it screwing up the movies.

Anonymous said...


My fan girl crush has faded a little on Rob with the recent events. I am actually a little happy about that as it took up a percentage of my time. I guess we should have all seen it coming as Rob stated quite early his feelings for Kristen.

I just think it is so cliche to fall for your leading lady, although we never get to choose in matters of the heart.

When his rep came out to report that false article that cinched it for me. His rep never spoke up for other false info, so this must have been pretty important to him.

I just can not crush on a person who's heart clearly belongs to someone else it is just not my thing. As someone else put it on another blog, I had about a better chance of being the first Woman to be the President of America than to date Rob crushing as much as I was just does not feel right now.

He is still handsome and a interesting actor so I will still follow his career. I wish them the best.


Twilightish said...

Ladies, was going to happen eventually. I mean, did you actually think Rob was going to stay single his whole life just for the benefit of those of us who crush on him?

Face it! Rob is a human being, a man, and a very good looking one at that. He was bound to get snatched up sooner than later. He does not owe us an "official statement". We do not own him. He can be with whoever makes him happy.

Isn't that what we all wish? To find and love that person that makes us happy? Why should Rob be penalized for feeling? Frankly, as long as it is his choice, I will love Rob exactly the same even if he started dating someone I can't stand, like Paris Hilton for example...gah...someone please pass me that bucket!