Friday, February 6, 2009

Victoria, The Party Animal




Does anyone take issue with the fact that Victoria was at the prom?








Do you want me to start with her dress? Clearly she waited too long to hit the shops in Port Angeles.







No, that never bothered me until Meadow noticed that she was crying at the end... vampires don't cry! I can't believe that I didn't pick up on that during the movie!! Duh! I think it was a good way for the non-twilight fans watching the movie to see the hook for the next one (new moon). Of course they could've done it another way too. I had MAJOR issues with the prom in general. All of them revolving around the interior scenes at the prom. It was so tacky how they were just turning around and at every turn were characters from the movie acting really stupid. It seemed like a rushed way to show everyone one last time or something.
That two minutes or so when they were inside was very hard for me to watch, but at the end I could've cared less. His face and words were so mesmerizing while dancing in the gazebo that I forgot all about the corniness of the inside. Oh that smirk, the squint, the crease on the left side of his mouth during the smirk.... yowzer! And those teeth!
He has to have the most perfect mouth on the planet - seriously. It's sinful!

And the dress that Bella wore was also questionable to say the least. What does he even see in this little crab apple anyway. Would you roll your eyes if he wanted to dance with you? She's really starting to piss me off. Especially in real life. Could she act more bored about being involved in the franchise?? It makes you not want to support her. At least Taylor is so pumped up about doing his role that it gets me pumped up! You hate to think that the actors don't want to have anything to do with the film and that it's beneath them. And trust me, it's above her if you ask me. She is getting paid too much attention and money - Gosh I hope he doesn't get that pissy about being in the movie(s). That would SO kill it for me!!

It would be like me saying to my interior design clients, yeah, I design home interiors but I'd really rather talk about my new blog. I'm so tired of getting the same boring questions about fabrics and furniture like, "so, what's the biggest living room you ever did, or what's in right now for wood tones, or even worse, are you excited to get started on designing my room?" What if I acted annoyed with my clients. They would not HIRE me!!!




That's hilarious! Spider went on a little rant there, didn't she. Too funny...

"When not lusting over Edward, her one true love, Spider can be found designing interiors for all civilized vampires in the pacific northwest."





Ha hahahaha, Spank.









I have some real issues with her being at prom because Edward would totally have heard her thoughts. I doubt she could conceal that kind of hate. Plus, vampires don't cry!! Although I don't understand why. They seem to have a full complement of OTHER bodily fluids. Think about it. ;)






Let's talk more about those bodily fluids. Stephenie Meyer says more about the subject on her website: "The normal reactions of arousal are still present in vampires, made possible by venom-related fluids that cause tissues to react similarly as they do to an influx of blood. Like with vampire skin—which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function—fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum." She also goes on to explain why vampires can't cry: "However, they don't produce tears because tears exist to protect the eye from damage, and nothing is going to be able to scratch a vampire's eye."

Guess someone should've shown those notes to the director when she was making the movie.





Not only would Victoria being at prom (and he not aware) make Edward's mind-reading suck but also his sense of smell! Poor little simp, he needs me! But in his defense, how could you smell anything if you're around a piss ant smothered in baby strawberry shampoo! Hello!






Someone (cough, Spider) is a little grouchy today. Come on girls... who pissed in her coffee this morning?









Well it wasn't a vampire who pissed in her coffee, that's for sure.









Thank you for doing that research Ginger. Do you think any of our readers are still with us? Because I stopped paying attention at "arousal."






20 comments:

Twilighter Migrah said...

@Spider (and others) I TOTALLY didn't notice that she cried! I mean, I did, but it didn't register.

@Meadow-Some friends (and some other online Twihards I don't know) discussed the issue of Edward being able to see Bella, and have come to this conclusion (because it's the only LOGICAL explanation for the director’s evident lack of Twilight knowledge)

Well, Alice definitely would have foreseen Victoria in the first place.

But that aside, it was decided that Edward and Alice knew, but Edward didn’t want to spoil Bella’s perfect night so he didn’t tell her. He could of course protect her if Victoria decided to make a move, and Alice could possibly see it coming too (in the book all the Cullen kids were there, in the movie I didn’t see any of them). Thus, ta da!

imbeingheldhostage said...

I'm getting a little tired of Miss Bored Prima Dona myself-- I'm thinking, isn't she an actress? Shouldn't she at least be PRETENDING she's supportive of the movie?
I say chuck her to the bin and get a replacement, the fans will happily adjust... they could use me. I won't roll my eyes at Eddie.

Brenda Jean said...

The entire time I'm trying to read Spider's looooonnnngggg rant my husband kept trying to talk to me. He apparently didn't see I was having a Twilight moment. Geesh. I remember Victoria, understood why they did it, as a teaser, but it was dumb. They SO would have known she was there. The crying thing should not have been overlooked. And Victoria would NOT have cried anyways- does the woman look sentimental? I think not. She would have been off planning her revenge, not at the prom. Plus it's a small town-- like no one else would have noticed her? OMG, I'm becoming Spider. It must be my stuffy head and runny nose. Not that you have a runny nose or big head...just saying.

Ginger--thanks for that lesson on sex with vampires. So, did you have some good dreams last night or something? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TLC said...

victoria @ the prom was so annoying!

1. edward would have been able to read her thoughts
2. edward would have smelled her.
3. why in the hell was she there? i mean really...anyone who read the books KNOWS she comes back in NM...i don't think we needed that foreshadowing.
4. c'mon, crying? really! geesh.

Leigh (Modern Mommy) said...

LOL! Spank, my current home decor is "baby-gate-not-chic." Do your interior design services include making my husband sparkle? Because if so I'm flying you down from Forks to redo my family room. ;)

LeLe said...

Ladies, I totally did not see that Vicky was crying at the prom. Of course, I only saw it once (almost went twice but didn't get to). It's the little things like the crying that annoy me about the movie. Some of the stuff I think they should have explained or left out simply because of the sequels...they will have to explain some things or change up the story. Which pisses me off!

I didn't really have a problem with her being at prom until I read all of your comments! Ha.

Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

Oh the crying, yes that really got to me. I can see how she was there it does make a good lead into New Moon, but they could of at least had Edward realizing something, I'm sure we would of caught on. Ya know?

Valarie Lea said...

Also would the kids at the prom not notice this odd girl standing at the "Wheel of WoW" (Sorry bad webkins reference). Do they not know who they go to school with? The school could not be that big. I mean she could hardly not be noticed with her really bad up do and that awful fur wrap she insisted upon wearing to the prom! Oh and don't get me started on her makeup, whoever did her styling needs to be replaced.

jennykate77 said...

I noticed her crying the first time I watched the movie, but it didn't dawn on me that it was wrong until I watched it the second time...vampires can't cry! There were several things I noticed the second and third time around that I didn't notice the first time.

I agree it was just annoying all around that she was even at prom...the whole prom scene was total cheese.

However, the scene with Bella and Edward in the gazebo made the prom scene worth it. That was probably one of my top 5 fav scenes from the movie.

Shannon said...

I didn't notice her crying. And I didn't see Victoria @ the wheel-thingy when I first saw the movie, but I noticed her when I saw the movie for the 2nd time.

Spider Monkey said...

Leigh, while I can't make your husband sparkle, you can buy some stuff at Hot Topic. Besides,I ditched that career path and have since started hair styling school. If I'm going to live forever with "him" then I'd better figure out how to properly quiff his hair after messing it up! ;)

katarinas mama said...

I'd like to now spark a debate on the sensory blocking qualities of cheap, strawberry shampoo with Stephenie over some tea and scones. Anyone ready to join us?

Her answer to Bodily Fluids was so very thorough that I am sure the Suave Strawberry Shampoo debate will have all the same detailed qualities.

Continue to love your blog...you guys do some amazing things with words.

katarinas mama said...

@Spider Monkey @Leigh - Pam with Flour and some scrapbooking glitter works just as well as that HT glitter spray. Not that I would know anything about such experiments while my DH sleeps.

JourneytoFamily said...

I think it was a good tie-in to the sequel to have Victoria at the prom. It makes sense to me. I agree it's a little inconsistent that Edward wouldn't have known she was there, but maybe he was too distracted, focusing on Bella. I didn't even notice she was crying until now, seeing you talk about it. Yeah, that's weird. I'm guessing they will have her in a scene or two of New Moon, like they added the extra scenes of the bad vamps in Twilight.

Melanie G. Allen said...

I saw the movie 5 times at the theater and I've seen it online too (I know, it's not uh legal), but I never noticed that she was crying. I must be slipping! It did bother me that she was at the Prom--Edward would have heard her and smelled her, but from a movie standpoint I can see why they did it. I'm sure she will be in New Moon also. I would be surprised if she was not.

DeAun said...

Okay, the um 7th time or so I saw it (did I really just admit that) I thought maybe there weren't any real tears, just very red eyes. Either way, she really couldn't be at the prom.

Ginger, loved your recap on vampire bodily fluids, but I think you left out one of the best bits, Stephenie says these fluids are very flammable. That helps explain the roaring blaze that was James.

Lori said...

If bodily fluids are very flammable it's too bad K.S.'s body didn't go up in flames after Edwards fluid release in Breaking Dawn!

Julie said...

Thank you, thank you -- this is something that REALLY bugged me! I HATE anything that makes Edward look less than perfect, and there is no WAY book-Edward (or the Edward of my mind) would not have heard/seen/smelled Victoria. I was just complaining about this elsewhere lately -- all they had to do is throw in a moment of Edward looking thoughtful or distracted, head cocked to the side - like a "what was THAT?" moment. Even if he couldn't totally make Victoria out in all of the noise, just a moment of him trying to figure out what he was hearing would have worked for me. Ignoring that ability of his was just a stupid move.

Clearly...I have spent a fair amount of time thinking this through. I just really dislike anything that makes Edward any less awesome.

Liz said...

okay, yeah he would have def smelled her, heard her thoughts, alice would have seen it coming. agreed about the cheesy prom scene flashing around to characters looking ridiculous....and that the gazebo scene with the iron & wine song was really nice =)

Bella's dress was questionable...iiii dunno.
let me get to it... i agree that kristen stewart is acting non-thrilled about it all...and its annoying. she's straight up buggin me. and i heard rumors of girls (fans) being mean to her before and i really tried to be a supporter... not be a "kristin-hata"....but.....

it is like you said, you need to be excited and into your work or you will lose clients...she rolls her eyes at everything twilight and says weird things at conferences... why are fans gonna like that?

And let me say, yall are SO hilarious. I love this site. Everyone's thinkin it, you're saying it....and being super funny in the process. good job!

Spider Monkey said...

Liz, your comments and compliment are SUPER appreciated. And all the others for that matter!
We're loving our blog and keep each other in stitches while doing our posts!

And Julie - I think we're all in agreement that anything that makes EC look less than perfect is an insult to me and the rest of the League as well (if I may be so bold to speak for them!)Thanks for your repeat visits!