Rob on a Rug

Source: Popsugar




*thinking out loud* It is amazing to me how hot these cold, marble statues are.







Awww that's so sweet. All my babies slept on sheepskin rugs too.








OH PLEASE, GINGER! I know you're Team Jacob and all *rolls eyes* but even you have to admit that this is all kinds of HAAAAWWWWT.







*sigh* yeah ok. It's a little hot. Especially on those sheepskin rugs. (they retain the heat)







I am 100% Team Jasper and yet even my tongue has fallen to the floor *shakes Ginger violently, screaming* LOOK AT HIS LOWER BACK WOMAN!






*being shaken violently* Owww... watch MY lower back woman, would you?







You can see his happy trail in these pics. I heart them SO HARD. And speaking of hard...







And, truly, I love these pictures. They bring back such great memories. Rob and I have shared a special moment on a rug just like that one....

Harper is Bizarre

The League FINALLY gets around to addressing the Harper's Bazaar spread!

source: twilight-central.org


Why couldn't they gotten the Harper's Bazaar makeup-hair person to have done Bella's wig in Eclipse?







*grumbles* Or all the wig's in New Moon for that matter.







Are they making a statement about being green? Because that sure-as-hell looks like that dress is made from garbage bags.






I wonder if that garbage-bag dress is scented like mine are. Mmmm Vanilla.







I love trash bag couture.







Do you think he's about to drop her here and that's why he is laughing? Because that is what I want to believe.










It doesn't really matter if he does drop her. I think her dress can be also used as a parachute.

Romance FAIL!

Source: robertpattinson.org



According to this People Magazine article, Rob says "I can't think of a single romantic thing that I've ever done, I would never serenade someone to be romantic."
Why are people still worshiping him? I bet Taylor would serenade me with his "Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream" song for me.




Personally I would be a little freaked out by a serenade. Unless you do it like John Cusack in "Say Anything" and just hold your boombox or er, iPod speakers, and let Peter Gabriel do the work. And, I think I'd find anything Rob did romantic. Make me some Hot Pockets and get me a beer - that's romance to me if you look like Robward.




Romance is nice and all at first but flowers die and songs end... Hot Pockets and Beer last forever!







Exactly Rain. The guy's 23. How many 23-year-olds are out there renting out yachts equipped with a string quartet for Valentine's Day or something? Besides, if he is dating KStew what sort of romantic gesture would he need to make? "Hey love, I bought the good hash. Happy Anniversary!"




Well, you know what 23 year old guys do have? Stamina! And that goes a LONG way #ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo







yeah but the reason we fell in love with Edward was how romantic he was. Rob is his polar opposite yet we are still obsessed with him. And by "we" I mean "you."






No, I pretty much fell in love with Edward because of the prospect of having hot eternal vampire sex. Like the saying goes, Edward is good at everything. *raising eyebrow* As for Rob, I'd be willing to teach.

Vanity Fairest

Source: robertpattinson.org




Did you hear that? That was the sound of my ovaries exploding. I mean, just... wow.







*steals Rob's bottle of Corona and calls the Scottish scientists at Roslin Institute to arrange for the cloning of the first human male*







I'm wearing my Scottish wool sweater today because it reminds me of the one he's wearing in the lobster-pics. If I close my eyes I can pretend that he gave it to me because I was cold after windy beach sex. What?





Oh dear @holygod, is that Rob with a piano? That picture could only be improved upon if he were lying across the piano. Naked. With me. *thud*






*rolls eyes* Well, you know, Jackson plays the piano too. *thinks of Jackson lying across the piano with me, sprints to the next 100 Monkeys show, steals his beer bottle from the stage and sends it the Scottish scientists at Roslin Institute to clone him instead*





Is that lobster bib supposed to look sexy? Cause it DON'T. Is he biting his nails? That's so unsanitary. I bet Taycob doesn't do that. And cracking his knuckles?! I guess the theme of this photoshoot is "take pictures of Rob doing mundane things." How about some more pics of Taylor splashing in the ocean?




**hands Ginger a copy of an Archie comic and Taylor Swift's CD** There, go get caught up on age-appropriate entertainment for your boy-crush and leave the Sex Bomb up there to us.

Underpattz

Sources: Spunk-Ransom and Twitarted

Okay, so I saw this on Twitter the other day and had to share. Half of me is all "OMG that's hysterical!" and the other half of me is all "I am too old to be saying 'OMG.' And also, Edward's mouth on my crotch is kinda creepy." Guess which half is winning? *wicked grin*

At least they could have chosen a picture of him with his mouth open. What?!

Do they come with absorbent lining to draw the moisture away quickly?

Some girls and I on Twitter are thinking of opening a Cafe Press store with this concept. There will be tongue represented. Who's in? *grin*

Well if Edward is on my crotch with his tongue represented doesn't that mean he's in #wearingunderpantsinsideout

Um, no. You have to buy that part separately from an adult specialty store.

*shrugs and goes back to bed with Jasper and the Vamp*

Does this come with a matching bra? Like Edward's hands as the cups?

Okay, seriously, I think I'd spontaneously combust if we combined Rob's hand-porn with lingerie. Meadow = dead.