Romance FAIL!

Source: robertpattinson.org



According to this People Magazine article, Rob says "I can't think of a single romantic thing that I've ever done, I would never serenade someone to be romantic."
Why are people still worshiping him? I bet Taylor would serenade me with his "Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream" song for me.




Personally I would be a little freaked out by a serenade. Unless you do it like John Cusack in "Say Anything" and just hold your boombox or er, iPod speakers, and let Peter Gabriel do the work. And, I think I'd find anything Rob did romantic. Make me some Hot Pockets and get me a beer - that's romance to me if you look like Robward.




Romance is nice and all at first but flowers die and songs end... Hot Pockets and Beer last forever!







Exactly Rain. The guy's 23. How many 23-year-olds are out there renting out yachts equipped with a string quartet for Valentine's Day or something? Besides, if he is dating KStew what sort of romantic gesture would he need to make? "Hey love, I bought the good hash. Happy Anniversary!"




Well, you know what 23 year old guys do have? Stamina! And that goes a LONG way #ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo







yeah but the reason we fell in love with Edward was how romantic he was. Rob is his polar opposite yet we are still obsessed with him. And by "we" I mean "you."






No, I pretty much fell in love with Edward because of the prospect of having hot eternal vampire sex. Like the saying goes, Edward is good at everything. *raising eyebrow* As for Rob, I'd be willing to teach.

Pissward

Can someone please explain to me why Edward always has to look so... angry in all the official Twilight stills and merchandise?

Exhibit A: This infamous look

Exhibit B: Pocket Edward. We all love him, but would it have killed him to smile?

And now from New Moon, comes Exhibit C:

We all know Robward has an amazing smile - so can we please just get a tote bag or a poster with a smiling Edward? Or at least one where he doesn't look evil or crabby? Please?

Well, maybe I read too much fanfiction and therefore can't tell my Edwards apart, isn't Edward kinda pissed usually? I mean, I think he's supposed to be "aloof" at best.

I think the thought was to try and make him look "pained"??? He does look quite annoyed. And I think it's probably because they just told him it would be another half hour before a ciggy break. And they did it on purpose to get the authentic look!

Maybe they had Kristen turn down yet another marriage proposal before each shoot. Although personally I'd expect him to look happy he'd dodged a mullet... Oops, I meant "bullet."

He's mad because he's a veggie vamp. He'd be happier if he didn't live off tofu.

And you all say Jasper looks constipated? Okay, I say that too but WHY do they have to make Edward look so miserable. Okay so he's with Bella. I get it. But that was his choice and, come on, smile a little. The Edward in the book did not look like he wanted to jump from the tallest building.

How do you know what the Edward in the book looked like? Did yours come with pictures?

Because the Edward in my book looked like this:

Ick Spank. LADIES???????? DO NOT FORGET, this 108 yr old has never, ever, ever been laid!

Hmmmmmm true. I get angry when I'm not laid. I mean, I think I would. (never actually get the chance to find out)

*raises eyebrow at Ginger*

Oh Spider! Good point. That's probably it. After Breaking Dawn we'll get smiling Edward.

Yeah but he only smiles for a second and then Bella gets pregnant with the demon child and he's all tormented again.

Don't forget the Vampire Sex at the end - he'll be smiling at the end, Spank.

Mmmm... Vampire sex. I'll be smiling at the end too. *wink*

Perhaps singing too. At the end of the movie he'll throw on some Fred Astaire shoes and starting "singing in the [Forks] rain."

*rolling my eyes* Edward is too emo for showtunes.

Edward, the sparkly twinkle toed vampire.